I Am So Selfish

Have you ever noticed how whatever uncomfortable thing you are going through seems to be the biggest problem in the world?  We can easily convince ourselves that no one has been through anything quite like what we are going through now. 

We recognize this in our kids.  Each bump or bruise, each time they don't get what they want, they react like the world is coming to an end.  They make the problem a million times bigger that what it really is. 

Let me give you an example.  My 2 year old fell and bruised his knee.  At first he cried loudly and told me that he was going to die.  Then he was convinced for 2 days that we needed to go to the doctor and get crutches for him.  In reality the bruise was smaller than a dime, and he can run, jump and play like he always has.

But don't we do the same thing?  Our perspective may be a bit bigger, so we focus on different issues.  But if the problem is on the higher end of what we have experienced, then we act like my 2 year old.  (or maybe this is just me)

Case and point.  My wife has been gone for 3 weeks.  Many people tell me I am crazy for letting her go, and know I am crazy when I tell them it was my idea that she go.  In the midst of this 3 week experience I've been overwhelmed with the playing the role of both dad and mom, and moving to a new home without her.  Even after all of the amazing help she gave by getting our move ready and arranging the schedule of baby sitters, I have been amazed at the difficulty of life without my spouse. Friends and family come up to me with concerned looks, ask me how I'm doing, cook meals for me like someone is in the hospital, men shake their heads and tell me they are terrified to have their wife gone for 3 hours, let alone 3 weeks...

Don't get me wrong I really appreciate the support.  More than words can say. My purpose is not to criticize anyone but myself.  This has been on the difficult fringe of my spectrum of experience.  But how does it compare to the experiences of others all around me.  When a member of the military deploys for months at a time, do I respond with the same amount of love and support people have shown  me?  My spouse is on a glorified vacation for almost a month, theirs will be at war for months at a time.  I have a new level of appreciation for our men and women in uniform, and a much deeper respect for those they leave behind.

But even as I think of them, there is another type of person who deserves more love and support from me.  When I think of the military spouse, I feel foolish for making my recent experience seem so harrowing. As much as I cannot imagine being a military spouse, it is even more impossible for me to imagine being a single parent.  I know my wife is coming back.  The military spouse has fear of the worst, but also has hope of the return of their loved one.  The single parent is alone. No one organizing the boxes, or the sitters before they leave, no one to e-mail or chat with once in a while.  No relief. 

I cannot even imagine. 

No wonder God tells us that true religion is to look after orphans and widows in their distress. 

So today, as I am just two and a half days from having my spouse back, I realize that I have been so selfish.  My eyes have been on what I don't have, rather than on all that God has given me. 

Lord, I pray that you will use this experience to open  my eyes to a knew level of loving the people around me.  That I will be able to get my eyes off myself and my problems, and focus on showing love to others who need love and support, who need someone to be Jesus to them.