Unity

INTROSPECTION WARNING:  The following post is written to help the author organize his thoughts on the topic being discussed and to solicit feedback.  It is not intended to provide answers or solutions, nor is it intended as a complaint.

I teach a Parents Sunday School/Small Group at church. The curriculum we are using is designed to go a long with what the children are learning in their Small groups.  The idea is that we apply the Orange concept of "making it personal" so that we will be informed and equipped to reinforce at home what the kids are learning in church.

Sunday we were challenged by 1st John 4:7-14.  The bottom line was "God showed the world His love when He sent Jesus; How will you show His love to the world?

In preparing to facilitate the discussion, I got to thinking, how do we show Jesus' love to the world?

All month we have been talking in our group about compassion.  We define compassion as 'caring enough to do something about someone else's need'. 

God saw our deepest need; forgiveness from sin. He did something about it; sent Jesus.

Jesus entrusted His ministry of reconciliation to us.

Just before He died Jesus prayed:  "As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world. For their sakes I sanctify Myself, that they themselves also may be sanctified in truth. I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word;  that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me. The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one; I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me." 

 John 17:18-23 NASB

Jesus said that the world would know the love of God when Christians are united.

Survey 100 people on the street.  Ask them what the first word that pops into their head is when they hear the word "Christian".  I would be shocked if you could find one who said "Unity".  Survey 100 people in your church, ask them to tell you the first think that pops in to their heads when they think of your church, I wonder if unity would make that list either.  If this were family feud the answer that Jesus seemed to think should be #1, might not even be on the board. 

Every church has lost someone when they decided to do something, be it the style of music, the length of the sermon, the color of the carpet or the brand of coffee used at get-togethers... It seems the one thing that defines churched people is our ability to part ways. 

And no I haven't attend the same church all of my life.  I've moved from one to the next 3 times in the last 10 years, and not one change was because I moved to a different city.  If I am pointing any fingers rest assured that 3 are pointed back at me, and I know it.  I don't want the cycle to continue.

I am the same guy who just posted, just yesterday, about Jonah, and the need to "throw someone overboard for the good of the ship".  I believe Martin Luther did the right thing when he posted his '95 Thesis' on the door of his church, and that God blessed the ministries of both Paul and Barnabas when they parted ways over John Mark. 

I'm not sure perfect unity is something we can grasp (and I'm not sure that it isn't). After all the apostle who said "No doubt there have to be differences among you to show which of you have God's approval" Also said "I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought" (in the same book!)

So if Jesus said that Unity would be the thing that let the world see God's love, then my question is how do we (me, you, and everyone else who claims Jesus as Lord) make unity priority #1.

Jonah

Last Sunday Morning at church my youngest son was given a Jonah story book as a Christmas present.  Just before nap time he asked me to read it to him.  As 3 year olds are want to do, he asked me to read the book over and over and over.

It was only 4 pages long, so I felt compelled to oblige.

Since the book was short on pages, it left out a good bit of information.  It was fun to see what my boy of 3 years knew as I asked him questions and he filled in the blanks.  (He and his brother are both big on the idea that it was a 'big fish' not a 'whale' that swallowed Jonah. Where they learned the distinction I'm not sure, but it is important to them.)

Always looking for a moral to apply to familiar stories, we talked about the idea that Jonah's disobedience put other people in danger.

This is one of those stories where it is tempting to argue that God was somehow being unfair to the poor innocent sailors.  Why put everyone on the boat in danger when Jonah was the problem? Why not have a swarm of bugs come bother just Jonah, or cover him with leprosy until he straightened out his act? Why did God choose to put dozens of lives in danger over Jonah's sin?

God is a teacher and always looking to get His point across, and I believe his choice to put the entire ship in danger because of one man's sin was made to teach us.  Here are a few thoughts on what that might be.

1. Our sin affects others. Like it or not, none of us sin in a vacuum. We like to believe that our sins only hurt us, but it isn't true, and this is just one of several places we see the theme repeated in scripture.

Think of Abraham. He decided that waiting for God to fulfill his promise of giving him a son needed some human intervention, so he sired a child with his hand maid. Her descendants are still at war with the children of the promise, and we cannot turn on the news without hearing about it. One guy a few thousand years ago stepped outside his marriage in a culturally acceptable way with his wife's blessing, and millennia of bloodshed ensued.

If only I could keep that perspective when tempted.

2. Sometimes you have to throw someone overboard for the good of the ship.  The sailors didn't want to throw Jonah overboard.  They did everything they could to solve the problem in their own strength before they threw him over, but it wasn't until they tossed him in that the storm stopped.

Jonah knew it had to happen.  He is the one who told them to do it.

I'm trying to imagine being one of these sailors. Hearing this runaway prophet tell me that the only way to survive the storm is to throw him in the ocean, would have perplexed me. On one hand I'd doubt his credibility. Here he is claiming divine knowledge about how to solve the problem, when clearly his deity is not pleased with him. But after I threw him in and it worked, I'd probably wish that I had listened to him sooner, because I would still have some of the cargo that I had thrown in before him.

There may come a time, when you and I have to decide to let someone go, for the good of the ship. Maybe that will be in our personal life, or in a business or ministry setting.  We may not be able to continue in the direction we need to go with them on board. We may feel horrible about it (and we should), but God will take care of them, we have a responsibility to the rest of the crew, to the mission, to the people that entrusted us with their cargo. Usually this just means making decisions that will cause them to jump over board (quit the job, storm out vowing never to speak to you, find a new church etc.)   But sometimes more extreme circumstances call for more extreme measures.  For all of his insight into the problem, Jonah wasn't jumping overboard, he waited to be thrown, knowing he was putting lives, and the mission of the ship, in danger.  Proverbs says "drive out the scoffer and contention will go out, even strife and dishonor will cease.  We see similar ideas as we read 1st Corinthians 5 or Joshua 7.

What do you think?  Am I reading too much into this? 

I have a post on the importance of unity going up tomorrow. That will probably make it look like I disagree with myself (again).  So tune back in tomorrow then let's talk. I would love to discuss this further.

DISCLAIMER:  This thought is not complete, and it is important to note, before letting todays thought simmer, that there is a well outlined plan for how to deal with someone who may need to be thrown overboard in Matthew 18 as well as serious restrictions on when to do it found throughout scripture.  Just like the sailors did not take tossing Jonah overboard lightly, this should only be done with extreme caution under extreme circumstances.

Sometimes I Get It Wrong

This is a retraction. In my post on Forgiveness I said, "He didn't forgive me until I repented". That was wrong. The truth is that it is by grace we are saved through faith. Not of ourselves, so that no one can boast. We don't clean up our act then come to Jesus. We come to Jesus and he cleans us up. He does the justifying. There is no excuse for what I wrote.

My erroneous blog was a failed attempt to discuss what James talks about. "Faith without actions is dead." Whether or not we are forgiven by God is a matter of His grace, but we are challenged to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. To examine ourselves. If we are not repentant, we can see that our "faith" is "without deeds" and must ask ourselves, "can such faith save us?" We can also apply this standard to those around us. It is what keeps us from throwing our pearls to pigs.

Dan, the friend who brought my error to my attention, said that what I was trying to address is a matter of stewardship not forgiveness. It is poor Stewardship to give someone you wallet when they have a history of stealing, until, through their actions, they have shown evidence of faith changing their hearts. We offer forgiveness over and over, and love them through the circumstances.

But stewardship is not forgiveness.

So my post was wrong. Very wrong.

Forgiveness is freely given. God's love compels me to repent, because I've been forgiven.

The issue at the heart of the post was that actions have consequences, regardless of what we want or what we say. If we have sinned and want to change how people react to us we must demonstrate our faith and the forgiveness we have freely received through repentance. I have observed, and was reacting too, people who say that they are sorry and expect it to restore the relationship that was damaged, without any repentance, who expect that I will treat them differently without having any intention if changing their behavior. To paraphrase James, "can such an apology reconcile you?"

I wish I could tell you that the terrible theology in my previous post was just a knee jerk reaction to circumstances, but I would be lying. Truth is, I posted it, then took it down, worked on it more, then reposted, without ever catching the serious error in my theology. This is why I am so grateful for the body of Christ, and for a friend willing to comment and to hold me accountable. This is the heart of Moving and Re-Thinking, sharing my thoughts and experiences publicly so that others can comment and help me refine my thinking, so that I can continue to move toward Christlikeness.

This was not the first time I've been wrong, and it won't be the last. I look forward to learning from more of you as we continue to spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

Forgiveness

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  Please see the post "Sometimes I get it Wrong" where I address the bad theology that I used when writing this post.  I left this post up, not because I am proud of it, but because I want my blog to have a record that I need to be and can be corrected, and I appreciate the people who have taken the time to correct me and instruct me.

I've heard quite often that forgiveness should not depend on whether or not the other person is ‘sorry’.  I don't believe that.

Truth is I don't put much stock in 'sorry'...
To most folk, 'sorry' just means, 'I feel bad'.
That kind of sorry is selfish.

Forgiveness requires repentance.
To repent means to turn and walk in the opposite direction.

I say this knowing that the idea of 'forgiveness without repentance' has become deeply ingrained in Christian culture. Over 30+ years of church life, many a well meaning person has admonished me to forgive people who have not asked for my forgiveness, or demonstrated an iota of repentance. Many a Christian has asked me to forgive them, without accepting responsibility for their actions or changing their direction.  Multiple songs that are currently very popular in Christian music preach the idea that when it comes to forgiveness, "It doesn't matter if they're sorry or not".

I say this knowing that many will take umbrage with my point of view. I'm probably holding a minority view point. You might think that I am bitter, might even say that my opinion is divisive.

But my objective is to follow what Christ taught, not what most people think He taught.

Jesus loved His enemies. So do I.

He prayed for those who persecuted Him. So do I.

He was willing to go to any length to reconcile man and God, and He gave me a ministry of reconciliation. I take that ministry very seriously.

He died for me before I repented

But… He didn't forgive me until I repented.

His gift of love, His sacrifice on the cross, forgiveness of sins, is freely given.
Salvation is by grace through faith.
Receiving the benefits of that salvation requires repentance.

I want to follow the pattern that He set.
That doesn't mean that I don't love my enemies, it doesn't mean that I am bitter, and it doesn't mean that I am holding a record of wrongs.

It means that before I trust you with my wallet, you had better stop stealing from me.

Before I will treat you like I treated you before you sinned against me that you must repent.
Until then there are consequences to your actions.

This is how I forgive those who have trespassed against me.
This is the measure that I hope you will use when I sin against you.

I am willing to forgive. I'm not interested in holding grudges. I am not bitter or upset. But until you stop stealing from me, I'm not going to give you my wallet. No matter how badly it makes you feel that I don't trust you, I'm not going to treat you like everything is okay until you repent. Until you come to the place where you recognize that your behavior is responsible for the damage to our relationship, the relationship will not be repaired.

Until then, love covers over a multitude of sins.

Love is what compels me to feed my enemy when he is hungry, and to give him a drink when he is thirsty.

Forgiveness may be dependent on repentance, but love is a gift freely given.

Maybe We Need a Little Controversy

Once again Carey says what's on my mind in ways I can't. 

http://careynieuwhof.com/2012/12/why-you-should-create-discontent-in-your-organization/

I only wish I had learned his suggestions for how to do this in an edifying way 2 years ago.

For anyone who may have been hurt by the way I went about leading, I sincerly appologize.  This was my heart.