I've heard quite often that forgiveness should not depend on
whether or not the other person is ‘sorry’.
I don't believe that.
Truth is I don't put much stock in 'sorry'...
To most folk, 'sorry' just means, 'I feel bad'.
That kind of sorry is selfish.
Forgiveness requires repentance.
To repent means to turn and walk in the opposite direction.
I say this knowing that the idea of 'forgiveness without
repentance' has become deeply ingrained in Christian culture. Over 30+ years of
church life, many a well meaning person has admonished me to forgive people who
have not asked for my forgiveness, or demonstrated an iota of repentance. Many a
Christian has asked me to forgive them, without accepting responsibility for
their actions or changing their direction. Multiple
songs that are currently very popular in Christian music preach the idea that
when it comes to forgiveness, "It doesn't matter if they're sorry or
not".
I say this knowing that many will take umbrage with my point
of view. I'm probably holding a minority view point. You might think that I am
bitter, might even say that my opinion is divisive.
But my objective is to follow what Christ taught, not what
most people think He taught.
Jesus loved His enemies. So do I.
He prayed for those who persecuted Him. So do I.
He was willing to go to any length to reconcile man and God,
and He gave me a ministry of reconciliation. I take that ministry very
seriously.
He died for me before I repented
But… He didn't forgive me until I repented.
His gift of love, His sacrifice on the cross, forgiveness of sins, is freely given.
Salvation is by grace through faith.
Receiving the benefits of that salvation requires repentance.
His gift of love, His sacrifice on the cross, forgiveness of sins, is freely given.
Salvation is by grace through faith.
Receiving the benefits of that salvation requires repentance.
I want to follow the pattern that He set.
That doesn't mean that I don't love my enemies, it doesn't mean that I am bitter, and it doesn't mean that I am holding a record of wrongs.
That doesn't mean that I don't love my enemies, it doesn't mean that I am bitter, and it doesn't mean that I am holding a record of wrongs.
It means that before I trust you with my wallet, you had better stop stealing from me.
Before I will treat you like I treated you before you sinned
against me that you must repent.
Until then there are consequences to your actions.
Until then there are consequences to your actions.
This is how I forgive those who have trespassed against me.
This is the measure that I hope you will use when I sin against you.
I am willing to forgive. I'm not interested in holding
grudges. I am not bitter or upset. But until you stop stealing from me, I'm not
going to give you my wallet. No matter how badly it makes you feel that I don't
trust you, I'm not going to treat you like everything is okay until you repent.
Until you come to the place where you recognize that your behavior is
responsible for the damage to our relationship, the relationship will not be
repaired.
Until then, love covers over a multitude of sins.
Love is what compels me to feed my enemy when he is hungry,
and to give him a drink when he is thirsty.
Forgiveness may be dependent on repentance, but love is a
gift freely given.
You wrote “But my objective is to follow what Christ taught, not what most people think He taught.” I LOVE that statement and wholeheartedly agree with you. Popular notions of what Jesus taught are so easy to come by, but are not necessarily what Jesus taught. For example: “Forgive and Forget.” The “forget” part is not Scriptural and is probably impossible in many cases. How does the child who was raped repeatedly truly “forget?” Or how about “God helps those who help themselves.” Silliness!
ReplyDeleteYou wrote “Forgiveness requires repentance” and “He didn’t forgive me until I repented.” And you define repentance earlier as turning and walking in the opposite direction. So, to receive forgiveness, I must first demonstrate my repentance by turning and walking in the opposite direction. Therefore, my forgiveness depends on my actions. Salvation by works, brother. Wrong.
How is the healing of the paralytic on his mat handled? In this case, the paralytic’s buddies asked Jesus to heal him. Jesus does but AFTER saying “…your sins are forgiven.” No mention of repentance. In fact, Scripture says Jesus forgave his sins when he saw the faith of his friends, not the paralytic’s repentance for his own sins.
If your objective is to follow what Christ taught, then back it up. What does Christ teach with regard to forgiving a brother? What does Christ teach with regard to forgiving a non-believer? How does Hebrew 9:22 fit into this (Must I make you bleed before I forgive you?)?
None of the above nullifies good stewardship though. Certainly, if I steal money from you, you would be unwise and a poor steward of what God has given you if you let me hold your wallet for awhile, whether you have forgiven me or not.
Also, do not misread me to say that repentance is unnecessary. It seems to me that, given popular understanding of what forgiveness means, God’s definition of “forgive” is critical. Are there times when repentance is a prerequisite for forgiveness and times when it is not? I could easily argue that if we labor under different definitions.
A good friend pointed out that my position in this blog overlooks the healing of the paralytic whose friends brought him to Jesus. He also mentioned that forgiveness is by grace through faith not by works so that no man may boast. Only half of his comment came through. I will put it up as soon as I have all of it. I will also post my Rethink after I have processed what he has to say. What is important is that forgiveness doesn't depend on my actions, it is a matter of grace. It does come by faith and my post neglected that. Very Wrong. Stay tuned.
ReplyDeleteI found the rest of Dan's comment and posted it. First let me say that my original post was wrong. Rather than take it down I will leave it up, rethink and repost. Second let me say that this kind of feedback is why I blog. I want to rethink and move toward Christ. I need accountability to do that. Thanks Dan.
ReplyDeleteFather, forgive them, for they know not what they do...
ReplyDeleteForgiveness came w/o a request for it. Forgiveness was asked of God on their behalf (advocacy, sincerity, love, intercession) w/o repentance or request on the behalf of the sinners. Crucifixion of God seems like the most weighty sin that could be committed - so in comparison to any other sin that could be perpetuated by any one of us upon another person - can we truly say that before we can forgive, we must first see evidence of repentance on the behalf of the one that has sinned against us or wait to receive a request to forgive?
[Before I go on, note that I completely agree with the wisdom articulated in this blog that we should act and live in a wise manner. Locks are meant to help keep honest people honest. So, if we know that it is the nature and demonstrable behavior of a person to injure or hurt, we must (even for their well-being) limit their opportunity to inflict further hurt or to tempt them to re-offend by stealing or hurting those trusted to our care.]
As a matter of understanding the nature of God, we must look to his revealed truth. On this aspect of forgiveness, we find that God is forgiving. He asks us to be like him - forgiving. Why? [Certainly, to know the answer requires God to speak.] One possible reason is so that we might experience what it is like to be like him in ever so imperfect a way - gracious, kind, loving and magnanimous. Perhaps another reason is that we might learn faith to obey even when every fiber of our human nature screams 'No'. At the core - we know that God is sovereign, is just and that he is watching our lives intensely and with great affection and love. He is the one that has given us all things. So, if someone were to take from us (possessions, health, life, reputation, etc.) we must realize that it is God (ultimately) that is the one that has been injured. We are his steward - the one that has been given things - but if we lose them by robbery, they were not ours to begin with - but God's. So, he is able to require an account of an item, or to forgive.
Just some thoughts from a fellow learner and sojourner.
Thanks' Steve please check out this post http://moverethink.blogspot.com/2012/12/sometimes-i-get-it-wrong.html to see how my thoughts on this topic changed after some other readers took the time, like you have, to give me a gentle theology adjustment. I added an "author's note" to the beginning of this post to clarify that it no longer represents my thoughts, but does represent that I am human and need to keep learning. Again, I appreciate you taking the time to comment. Thank you
Delete