Have you ever had one of those conversations * where you hear that you have come across in a way that you didn't intend to? Have you ever said something, chuckled to yourself or smiled a certain way, and the other person takes umberidge, because they inferred an insult where none was implied. Then, because you didn't mean to offend, you try to explain yourself, to justify the smirk, or the comment, only to have the situation go from bad to worse? Generally speaking I am not particularly flexible, but when it comes to putting my foot in my mouth, I am a master contortionist, finding new and interesting ways to perform this feat. (pun intended)
My most recent foot in mouth experience came during a recent car ride with my wife. She said something, I smiled, she guessed what was running through my head, I didn't deny it, but tried to justify why I was thinking what I was thinking, and as I opened my mouth in went the foot. Then I tried to justify why I had just put my foot in my mouth, and it went from bad to worse.
I put myself in time out and fumed. I was right, wasn't I. My smile was certainly justified. My comments were accurate. Why was she blowing up over the truth. How is it my fault if she** "Can't handle the truth"... About that time I realized that although what was saying and thinking might have been true ***, it wasn't at all loving, and that's when it hit me.
Why do I try to justify myself? I am terrible at it. Why do I have this persistant desire, this need to be understood, to have people see my perspective, as if my perspective is something they cannot live without. ****
Jesus died to justify me. I am justified by grace, through faith, not by works, so that no one can boast. You see when I try to justify my opinion, to make someone understand me, I am in effect boasting. Even if I have reason to boast, like being spot on with my insightful observation, if the result of that observation tears my wife down, rather than building her up, if it doesn't edify the person listening to me, it is sin.
The Bible tells me that "knowledge puffs up, but love builds up." I can judge the tree by its fruit, and when I try to usurp Jesus' place as my justifier, by arguing to make myself understood, the fruit is almost always pretty rotten.
*(usually with your spouse, but not necessarily)
** (insert Jack Nicholson accent)
***(I say might because my wife would debate the validity of my argument)
**** (this from the guy blogging so that other people can read his perspective... can you say oxymoronical...)
Friday, June 29, 2012
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Humility
There is nothing quite like spending the day doing the same job you did when you were 13 to help you gain some perspective.
Had you told my 13 year old self that, at 30, I would be mowing the same lawn and repainting the same garage I would not have believed you. So earlier this week when I found myself doing exactly those things, I had a movie moment.
The movie was one you may not have seen, "The Kid", a Disney movie where Bruce Willis meets his 9 year old self and gains some much needed perspective while imparting some much needed wisdom. That is exactly what yesterday felt like. The result was humbling.
As I reflected on the 17 years that have passed since I last scrapped and painted that garage, I realized a few things: some of the same bad habits and sins that I struggle with started around that time, life has taken a completely different track than I expected, the people whose opinion I lived for are no where to be seen while those whose opinion I blatantly disregarded are still around, and still love me, the self serving measures I had for success are obsolete, replaced by a deep desire to serve others (at least that is what I would like to believe)
Just like in the movie, older me probably wouldn't get along well with younger me, but we'd have some things to teach eachother.
Older me would impart lessons like: put others first, don't worry about what "popular people" think of you, character is what matters, lighten up, learn some self control, and most importantly, LISTEN- because you really don't know it all... Meanwhile younger me would remind me to be more ambitious, to take risks, and to remember the lofty ideals of love, chivalry and courage that defined who I imagined I would become.
Every so often it is good to go back and encounter earlier versions of ourselves so that we can be reminded of childlike faith and of just how much God has done in our lives.
Had you told my 13 year old self that, at 30, I would be mowing the same lawn and repainting the same garage I would not have believed you. So earlier this week when I found myself doing exactly those things, I had a movie moment.
The movie was one you may not have seen, "The Kid", a Disney movie where Bruce Willis meets his 9 year old self and gains some much needed perspective while imparting some much needed wisdom. That is exactly what yesterday felt like. The result was humbling.
As I reflected on the 17 years that have passed since I last scrapped and painted that garage, I realized a few things: some of the same bad habits and sins that I struggle with started around that time, life has taken a completely different track than I expected, the people whose opinion I lived for are no where to be seen while those whose opinion I blatantly disregarded are still around, and still love me, the self serving measures I had for success are obsolete, replaced by a deep desire to serve others (at least that is what I would like to believe)
Just like in the movie, older me probably wouldn't get along well with younger me, but we'd have some things to teach eachother.
Older me would impart lessons like: put others first, don't worry about what "popular people" think of you, character is what matters, lighten up, learn some self control, and most importantly, LISTEN- because you really don't know it all... Meanwhile younger me would remind me to be more ambitious, to take risks, and to remember the lofty ideals of love, chivalry and courage that defined who I imagined I would become.
Every so often it is good to go back and encounter earlier versions of ourselves so that we can be reminded of childlike faith and of just how much God has done in our lives.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
What is a leader (Summation)
The forth post in our series on Biblical Leadership.
Ultimately, I think Jesus is the best example of a leader who acted with the end in mind. He kept focused on what people needed rather than what they wanted. I think the story of Lazarus demonstrates this extremely well. When Jesus heard that Lazarus was ill, He clearly wanted to go to His friend, to heal him right away and to spare him, and his sisters, the pain of the upcoming experience. For the good of the mission, the end result that he had in mind (which was building faith in a group of people who would ultimately take the Gospel to the world) He waited, and in doing so He looked cold and uncaring to those closest to him, He let Lazarus die, He let the sisters grieve, He wept Himself, and ultimately He revealed God's power in a way that couldn't have happened without effectively causing all that pain. No emotions, not even His own, got in the way of what would bring God the most glory. (Not that He didn't have strong emotions about the matter, He just wasn't ruled by them.)
So often we think of love in terms of emotion, but love is much more than an emotion. (In fact I am not sure that love even is an emotion at all, but more on that in some other post...) Love is not doing what makes people feel better, it is doing what is best for someone else, regardless of what we feel, or what they feel. We understand this when it comes to parenting. Regardless of what kind of discipline you choose to apply, your kid probably doesn't like it. In fact, in order to love your child you intentionally do things that won't like, so that they will learn not to do things that will hurt them or hurt others.
We are God's children, and He has given us He word to which is useful for "teaching, reproof, correction, and training in righteousness" Like it or not, He treats us like children, and expects us to help our siblings along, by using His word wisely. He's set up a hierarchy, putting leaders over us, to shepherd and guide us. Those who lead and teach are in turn held to a higher standard of judgment, and must react accordingly. This means having the humility to see yourself as a child and first applying the Word within. Like the man removing the plank from his own eye before removing the speck from his brother's eye. Once you are relatively certain you are plank free, you have a responsibility to use God's word to the benefit of others within the body of Christ. Paul did it (with brutal honesty on multiple occasions). He also encouraged Timothy to do it, and he encouraged all leaders, in fact all believers to use the word, and the example of our lives, to "spur one another on toward love and good deeds."
Spur. Think about that word. Basically the Bible commands us to "Jab a sharp piece of metal into someones backside in order to get them to do what they should be doing". How loving does that feel? Not very. But it is in fact the most loving thing we can do.
Not an appealing job description, and frankly that is why I spend years trying to hide from being a leader. Then I read this parable about a guy to took what his master had given him, and buried it in a whole, ultimately giving it back without having done anything with it... It didn't go so well for that guy, so I am desperate to understand leadership from God's perspective.
Now if on any point you disagree with me, or find my thinking incomplete, or just want to share what God's taught you, put the spurs to me and help me re-think by giving me your feedback.
Ultimately, I think Jesus is the best example of a leader who acted with the end in mind. He kept focused on what people needed rather than what they wanted. I think the story of Lazarus demonstrates this extremely well. When Jesus heard that Lazarus was ill, He clearly wanted to go to His friend, to heal him right away and to spare him, and his sisters, the pain of the upcoming experience. For the good of the mission, the end result that he had in mind (which was building faith in a group of people who would ultimately take the Gospel to the world) He waited, and in doing so He looked cold and uncaring to those closest to him, He let Lazarus die, He let the sisters grieve, He wept Himself, and ultimately He revealed God's power in a way that couldn't have happened without effectively causing all that pain. No emotions, not even His own, got in the way of what would bring God the most glory. (Not that He didn't have strong emotions about the matter, He just wasn't ruled by them.)
So often we think of love in terms of emotion, but love is much more than an emotion. (In fact I am not sure that love even is an emotion at all, but more on that in some other post...) Love is not doing what makes people feel better, it is doing what is best for someone else, regardless of what we feel, or what they feel. We understand this when it comes to parenting. Regardless of what kind of discipline you choose to apply, your kid probably doesn't like it. In fact, in order to love your child you intentionally do things that won't like, so that they will learn not to do things that will hurt them or hurt others.
We are God's children, and He has given us He word to which is useful for "teaching, reproof, correction, and training in righteousness" Like it or not, He treats us like children, and expects us to help our siblings along, by using His word wisely. He's set up a hierarchy, putting leaders over us, to shepherd and guide us. Those who lead and teach are in turn held to a higher standard of judgment, and must react accordingly. This means having the humility to see yourself as a child and first applying the Word within. Like the man removing the plank from his own eye before removing the speck from his brother's eye. Once you are relatively certain you are plank free, you have a responsibility to use God's word to the benefit of others within the body of Christ. Paul did it (with brutal honesty on multiple occasions). He also encouraged Timothy to do it, and he encouraged all leaders, in fact all believers to use the word, and the example of our lives, to "spur one another on toward love and good deeds."
Spur. Think about that word. Basically the Bible commands us to "Jab a sharp piece of metal into someones backside in order to get them to do what they should be doing". How loving does that feel? Not very. But it is in fact the most loving thing we can do.
Not an appealing job description, and frankly that is why I spend years trying to hide from being a leader. Then I read this parable about a guy to took what his master had given him, and buried it in a whole, ultimately giving it back without having done anything with it... It didn't go so well for that guy, so I am desperate to understand leadership from God's perspective.
Now if on any point you disagree with me, or find my thinking incomplete, or just want to share what God's taught you, put the spurs to me and help me re-think by giving me your feedback.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Characteristics of Leader
Part 3 of our conversation on Leadership:
Q: What are some characteristics that all effective leader's share.
A: A clear understanding of the where those they are leading are in relationship to where they should be. The ability to communicate where the people should be in a way that helps people want to follow. The willingness to make unpopular decisions, for the sake of the mission. Perseverance, in the midst of things not going the way they had planned. And Strategic Thinking, that lets them know what steps need to be in place to get people from point at to point Z, without trying to do everything at once.
Biblical examples are numerous, We already talked about Nehemiah. He demonstrated many of these principles, He spent time in prayer and fasting and afterward felt compelled to do something about a problem facing God's people. He put a plan in place, and convinced people to follow it. He put reasonable steps in place, like building the whole wall to half it's height first, rather than trying to build one section to it's full height at a time, and he demonstrated perserverance, as he was constantly heckled, threatened and told it couldn't be done, but he stuck to and ultimately accomplished the mission.
Tomorrow I'll be back with one more example on this topic, and a summary.
Q: What are some characteristics that all effective leader's share.
A: A clear understanding of the where those they are leading are in relationship to where they should be. The ability to communicate where the people should be in a way that helps people want to follow. The willingness to make unpopular decisions, for the sake of the mission. Perseverance, in the midst of things not going the way they had planned. And Strategic Thinking, that lets them know what steps need to be in place to get people from point at to point Z, without trying to do everything at once.
Biblical examples are numerous, We already talked about Nehemiah. He demonstrated many of these principles, He spent time in prayer and fasting and afterward felt compelled to do something about a problem facing God's people. He put a plan in place, and convinced people to follow it. He put reasonable steps in place, like building the whole wall to half it's height first, rather than trying to build one section to it's full height at a time, and he demonstrated perserverance, as he was constantly heckled, threatened and told it couldn't be done, but he stuck to and ultimately accomplished the mission.
Tomorrow I'll be back with one more example on this topic, and a summary.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Administrators
Part 2 in our conversation about Leadership deals with the difference between a leader and an administrator. (if you are just joining us please go back and read the posts entitled "Thoughts on Leadership" and "What is a Leader")
Q: What is the difference between a leader and an administrator?
A: An administrator is one who makes a process more efficient, a leader is one who defines the process.
Biblical Examples: The seven men appointed in acts to oversee the distribution of the food were administrators. The twelve (apostles) who said effectively 'here's how we are going to address the problem' were leaders. The twelve had a mission to complete (the ministry of the word and prayer), and despite that fact that other people wanted their attention, they knew that addressing concern that had arisen wasn't part of what God wanted them to be doing, so they appointed a group to solve the problem, and stayed focused on their mission.
Nehemiah was clearly a gifted leader - he had a God given desire to get something done and got it done. In Nehemiah chapter 2 we see him setting a strategy in place, before talking with the leaders of the people. Once he had a strategy in place, he went to them and convinced them that it was the right thing to do. He overcame ridicule and numerous threats both political and physical. He kept the people's morale high by setting reasonable goals and reminding them that God was with them. The people told him time after time it would never work, but he pressed on.
Jethro, Moses' father in law, used the gift of administration to compliment Moses' gift of leadership, by telling him how to organize the people so that he (Moses) could focus on his God given mission. At Jethro's advice, Moses broke the people into manageable groups, and put a structure in place that would lead to vastly increased efficiency. Leaders would do well to remember that there is value in having trustworthy counselors. Just learn a lesson from Solomon's son Jeroboam, he listened to the counselors who told him what he wanted to hear, and "forsook the counsel of the elders." He listened to counsel, but listened to the wrong counselors. The leader bears the responsibility to determine which counselors to heed to and which to reject.
Q: What is the difference between a leader and an administrator?
A: An administrator is one who makes a process more efficient, a leader is one who defines the process.
Biblical Examples: The seven men appointed in acts to oversee the distribution of the food were administrators. The twelve (apostles) who said effectively 'here's how we are going to address the problem' were leaders. The twelve had a mission to complete (the ministry of the word and prayer), and despite that fact that other people wanted their attention, they knew that addressing concern that had arisen wasn't part of what God wanted them to be doing, so they appointed a group to solve the problem, and stayed focused on their mission.
Nehemiah was clearly a gifted leader - he had a God given desire to get something done and got it done. In Nehemiah chapter 2 we see him setting a strategy in place, before talking with the leaders of the people. Once he had a strategy in place, he went to them and convinced them that it was the right thing to do. He overcame ridicule and numerous threats both political and physical. He kept the people's morale high by setting reasonable goals and reminding them that God was with them. The people told him time after time it would never work, but he pressed on.
Jethro, Moses' father in law, used the gift of administration to compliment Moses' gift of leadership, by telling him how to organize the people so that he (Moses) could focus on his God given mission. At Jethro's advice, Moses broke the people into manageable groups, and put a structure in place that would lead to vastly increased efficiency. Leaders would do well to remember that there is value in having trustworthy counselors. Just learn a lesson from Solomon's son Jeroboam, he listened to the counselors who told him what he wanted to hear, and "forsook the counsel of the elders." He listened to counsel, but listened to the wrong counselors. The leader bears the responsibility to determine which counselors to heed to and which to reject.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Thoughts on Leadership
A few days ago I posted asking for feedback on the role of a leader. I didn't get much feedback, so let me give you my opinion and see if that gets the ball rolling. This is the short version of my opinion, and is intended to jump start the conversation I'd like to be having with you, dear reader.
Let's start with the first of the three questions I posed in the earlier post:
Q: What is the ultimate goal of a leader?
A: In my opinion, the ultimate goal of the leader is to move people somewhere that they wouldn't go without the leader's influence. This is not a unique idea, it is a summation of much reading on the subject.
Biblical Example: Moses: Without his influence, the Hebrews would have remained slaves in Egypt until the genocide that had begun under Pharaoh ran its course and they ceased to exist or had been assimilated into the Egyptian population. His goal was to move them toward the land that God had promised. After his first conversation with Pharaoh, the Egyptians made the Hebrew's lives more difficult, and as a result the people begged Moses to stop leading them. After they left Egypt, and saw God do amazing things, they complained countless times that they would have been better off in Egypt as slaves than following Moses around the desert. On multiple occasions Moses was accused of plotting genocide against his own people by his own people ("you brought us out into the desert to die"). Had he been leading by committee, popular opinion or what made people feel loved and appreciated, he'd have left them alone in Egypt before the first plague, and our Bible would look extremely different.
Tune in tomorrow and I'll give my opinion on the difference between a leader and an administrator.
Let's start with the first of the three questions I posed in the earlier post:
Q: What is the ultimate goal of a leader?
A: In my opinion, the ultimate goal of the leader is to move people somewhere that they wouldn't go without the leader's influence. This is not a unique idea, it is a summation of much reading on the subject.
Biblical Example: Moses: Without his influence, the Hebrews would have remained slaves in Egypt until the genocide that had begun under Pharaoh ran its course and they ceased to exist or had been assimilated into the Egyptian population. His goal was to move them toward the land that God had promised. After his first conversation with Pharaoh, the Egyptians made the Hebrew's lives more difficult, and as a result the people begged Moses to stop leading them. After they left Egypt, and saw God do amazing things, they complained countless times that they would have been better off in Egypt as slaves than following Moses around the desert. On multiple occasions Moses was accused of plotting genocide against his own people by his own people ("you brought us out into the desert to die"). Had he been leading by committee, popular opinion or what made people feel loved and appreciated, he'd have left them alone in Egypt before the first plague, and our Bible would look extremely different.
Tune in tomorrow and I'll give my opinion on the difference between a leader and an administrator.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Quiet Time Reflections
In John 6 Jesus
feeds the 5,000, then walks across the lake, calms a storm, and lands on the
far shore, just in time to be greeted by the same crowd of people. They are all wondering how he got there, and
He gave them this beautifully blunt and un-politically correct response, "You
aren't looking for me" He said, "because
you want to believe, you are looking for me because you want a free meal." ~ CPV (Charlie Paraphrased Version)
You have to love Jesus way with words. He never pulled any punches or told a crowd what they wanted to hear, instead He went straight to the heart of the matter.
I am tempted to dwell on His blunt and rather offensive manner of speaking (we are so quick to take offense that I think we would write Jesus off as unloving if he were walking the earth today), but is what followed that really caught my attention. He said "Do not work for the food that perishes, but work for the food which endures to eternal life."
It is a simple reminder that goes along with what Jesus said in Matthew 6. - "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things (speaking of basic necessities like food and clothing) will be given to you."
How often do we kill ourselves working to make the mortgage payment, or to pay the electricity bill, or to make the car payment, or to pay the mechanic just keep the poor old thing running for a few more months. How much time have I spent stressing out over our looming loss of insurance coverage, even contemplating giving up ministry to keep insurance!? How many of my peers have I watched work harder for the things that aren't necessities, Internet access, apple products, smart phone plans, ballet lessons & travel basketball fees for junior, and that vacation they've always wanted…
Jesus effectively said, "don't work for temporary things, work for eternal things." & "Seek Me first and I'll take care of the rest".
Do I trust Him enough to actually live that way?
Give me your feed back. Have you put these words of Jesus into practice? Why/How or Why not?
You have to love Jesus way with words. He never pulled any punches or told a crowd what they wanted to hear, instead He went straight to the heart of the matter.
I am tempted to dwell on His blunt and rather offensive manner of speaking (we are so quick to take offense that I think we would write Jesus off as unloving if he were walking the earth today), but is what followed that really caught my attention. He said "Do not work for the food that perishes, but work for the food which endures to eternal life."
It is a simple reminder that goes along with what Jesus said in Matthew 6. - "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things (speaking of basic necessities like food and clothing) will be given to you."
How often do we kill ourselves working to make the mortgage payment, or to pay the electricity bill, or to make the car payment, or to pay the mechanic just keep the poor old thing running for a few more months. How much time have I spent stressing out over our looming loss of insurance coverage, even contemplating giving up ministry to keep insurance!? How many of my peers have I watched work harder for the things that aren't necessities, Internet access, apple products, smart phone plans, ballet lessons & travel basketball fees for junior, and that vacation they've always wanted…
Jesus effectively said, "don't work for temporary things, work for eternal things." & "Seek Me first and I'll take care of the rest".
Do I trust Him enough to actually live that way?
Give me your feed back. Have you put these words of Jesus into practice? Why/How or Why not?
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Stop Reading My Blog and Go Read This.
About a year ago I read a book co-authored by a Pastor named Carey Nieuwhof entitled, "Parenting Beyond your Capacity". I found his book to be excellent and gave copies to a few close friends and to some parents at church. All reviews have been positive.
This past year at the Orange Conference I heard him speak about local church leadership and structure, and was stunned by the simple yet effective ideas he shared. So as I thought I'd look him up and see if he had any books on the subject. What I found instead was his blog. careynieuwhof.com. I highly recommend it.
This past year at the Orange Conference I heard him speak about local church leadership and structure, and was stunned by the simple yet effective ideas he shared. So as I thought I'd look him up and see if he had any books on the subject. What I found instead was his blog. careynieuwhof.com. I highly recommend it.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
What is a Leader?
Dear Reader,
I am hoping that you will spare a few minutes to help me. Leadership is the topic, and if you are willing to share your thoughts, I'd love to know how you define a leader. What are some characteristics that you think all effective leaders share? How is a leader different from an administrator? What is the ultimate purpose of leadership?
If you happen to be of a Bible reading persuasion, and feel like sharing some thoughts on leaders from the Bible that you admire, I'll give you bonus points! (not sure how the points will be redeemed, but I am open to suggestions on that as well) Biblical references are not required & I will accept examples from all walks of life. Please feel free to include links to articles on the topic or point me in the direction of good books that relate.
Send me your answers via the comment section, I'll review them and compile your thoughts into a future post.
Thanks!
I am hoping that you will spare a few minutes to help me. Leadership is the topic, and if you are willing to share your thoughts, I'd love to know how you define a leader. What are some characteristics that you think all effective leaders share? How is a leader different from an administrator? What is the ultimate purpose of leadership?
If you happen to be of a Bible reading persuasion, and feel like sharing some thoughts on leaders from the Bible that you admire, I'll give you bonus points! (not sure how the points will be redeemed, but I am open to suggestions on that as well) Biblical references are not required & I will accept examples from all walks of life. Please feel free to include links to articles on the topic or point me in the direction of good books that relate.
Send me your answers via the comment section, I'll review them and compile your thoughts into a future post.
Thanks!
Monday, June 18, 2012
Father's Day
Yesterday was my fifth Father’s Day as a dad. We started the day in our Heavenly Father’s
house, and then joined my (local) siblings for lunch with my parents, before
going fishing. After a brief behavioral
disruption early in the morning, the kids were on their best behavior. As I tucked them into bed I praised them for
the extra special father’s day gift of good behavior. But as I closed the door to their bedroom I heard the familiar
still small voice of the Spirit whispering a question. “Why did their good behavior matter so
much to you?”
When the Spirit speaks, I try to listen, to reflect. (notice
I said try… to quote my dad, I am very ‘trying’) Did I appreciate their good behavior because it made my life
easier or my day more enjoyable? Should
that be the reason I want them to behave?
Or is there something deeper… should there be something deeper?
Yesterday while fishing, my 2 year old got cold. Not unexpected when you splash around in a
river in Maine. The breeze I
appreciated because it kept he black-flies away, went right through him and he
let me know. Loudly and Often. As I
kept telling him, “It’s okay buddy, you’ll be fine” as I kept fishing, that
same still small voice reminded me “Fathers, do not exasperate your children”.
I had to ask myself, was I on that river with my kids to
fish, or to be with my kids. Of course
I was there because I wanted to do both, but which one was I showing my son was
the most important? When I was ignoring
him so that I could keep fishing, was I toughening him up, or teaching him to
put others first? I could have been,
and neither of those things would have been inappropriate, but I wasn’t
purposefully doing either. Instead I
was trying to keep him just content enough that I could keep doing what I
wanted to do without him getting in the way.
QUIZ: When
you are wading in a trout stream with your two year old in a backpack,
shivering in your ear, and you suddenly come under conviction do you:
A) decide now is a great time to toughen him up
B) decide now is a great time to teach him to put
others first
C) pack up and head home
D) all of the above
I went for D. I
decided to teach by example. I had to
toughen up, and do the hard but right thing. I decided it was a great time to
teach him about putting others first, by putting him first, packing up and
heading home. I apologized for not
listening to him, for being selfish.
I am not advocating that we give into our kids and do
whatever they want all the time.
(I’ve been in youth ministry for the last 12 years and I have dealt with
plenty of teenagers who were basically raised that way.) I am saying that we have to examine our
motives. There is a time to teach our
kids to get through unpleasant circumstances.
There is a time to teach them to put others first. But those kinds of lessons should be taught
purposefully, not simply when it is convenient for me, or keeps them quiet
while I enjoy my hobby.
Ultimately we had a great hike out. Once we got into the woods, the trees
blocked the wind. He warmed up, and our
family had a fantastic time together.
That was the purpose of the day after all.
So as I closed the door to the boys’ bedroom, after praising
them for their good behavior, I realized that I needed to re-think my motivation
as a parent. Do I teach them obedience,
respect, responsibility and trust, so that they will be more pleasant, easier
to deal with, and make me look good? Or
do I do it so that they can learn the skills that they will need to love God
with all of their heart, soul, mind and strength? At the end of the day am I glad they were on their best behavior
because it made my day better, or am I glad because it shows me that they are
learning lessons that will help them be all that God wants them to be?
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Zombies Football and the Gospel
Thursday I posted an excerpt from a book by Reggie Joiner. Today I finished that book... The basic premise is 10 "game changing" ideas. Let me quickly run through them for you. Some of the thoughts are very challenging so whether you are intrigued by what you read here, or disturbed, I urge you to read the book.
1. The Gospel is Messy. Never settle for a version of faith that doesn't take risks. The point is "there is a growing frustration with churches who do not respond passionately to a broken world." A messy gospel could compel your church to: a) Love those who don't share your beliefs and values. b) Become missionaries to diverse cultures. c) Show compassion to broken and hurting people. d) Create new ways to share your message. e) Re imagine how you live as the church. f) Change the way you influence the next generation. g) Collaborate with leaders who are different.
2. 98118 The most diverse zip code in the US. 6 square miles, home to 40,000 people speaking 59 different languages. "People are embracing diversity and rejecting those who show signs of intolerance." 1 Peter 3:15 "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord, always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have, but do this with gentleness and respect". The goal is not to get people to trust me so that they will hear me, but to love people in such a way that they will ask me. What people feel save to ask may be determined by how much they know you care about them.
3. Sundays are for Football. Re imagine ways the church can influence active communities. how do we take the gospel to the people instead of waiting for them to come to the gospel. Statistically 25% of Americans treat Sunday like a Holy Day, the other 75% treat it like a holiday. "if you build it they will come" worked in field of dreams, but for 75% of people in the US, it simply doesn't work. How will we "GO" and make disciples?
4. They Blew up Walnut Grove. We must wake up to the reality of today's complicated family (and stop trying to make everyone fit the mold of 'Little House on the Prarie' type families.) Every family is broken. Those who go to church and those tho don't. Those who are married and those who aren't. Those who believe like you and those that don't. All families need Hope! That's why the church is so important, why the gospel is so powerful. Most people only know the church by what is on our billboards & picket signs, or which side of a political issue we take. Families need to know there's a better story, God's story, but Christian leaders need to discovery new ways to respond to the complicated issues facing this generation of families.
5. Zombies are Easy to Lead. Too many Christian leaders treat people like they should mindlessly follow us (like zombies), instead of treating the people that we lead like they are made in the image of God. Leaders are being called to model a new standard of authenticity and empathy. The people I lead want me to 1. Care about their future (not just my own) 2. Value their talents (they have gifts I don't) 3. Respect their ideas (it isn't my way or the highway) 4. Make good decisions (for the benefit of the mission we are on together) and 5. Do something that matters (they want to be a part of something meaningful, not just a part of something)
6. Improv or Die. Collaborate to discover the best solutions. Improv acting groups have 2 basic principles 1. 'no' is an automatic dead end. 'yes' always leads to possibilities. 2. Make your partner look good. Stop thinking in silos, or in terms of experts, and start thinking, how can we work together to make this as excellent as possible. Scripture makes it clear that the Body needs every part, every gift, to function properly. We have to lead the way we want to operate, using a variety of gifts and experiences.
7. Wine will be Cheaper than Gas. The economy is a game changer for churches, not just families. As budgets tighten we may have to stop throwing money at problems or ministries, and learn to rely on other things God has given us, like time and talents. Being short on finances forces us to innovate. Maybe this means giving people new places to serve by having them do job's they'd do in their own home, but your church pays people to do, like mow the law, or shovel snow. Maybe it means spending more time thinking about what you will teach than which curriculum you will buy. Maybe it means encouraging people to life debt free lives, or helping them see how the church uses their money in whole new ways. Figure out what it means for your ministry.
8. The Cloud is Here. Social media has given us an ability to communicate anytime anywhere. More people own phones than own toothbrushes. If we are not making time to connect with people where people are connecting, then we will loose the chance to connect with people anywhere. As leaders we can use the cloud to cue parents, mobilize teens, rally volunteers, inspire kids, enlist support, and start a conversation...
9. Third Place Still Wins. (as in a place other than home and work) Make it easy for someone to experience community. The church is uniquely posed to offer a place for face to face connections. Starbucks has thrived during this economic downturn, not because they are selling a luxury item in a recession, but because they offer a place for face to face connections in a world of social media. The church can and should become a place that people turn for genuine community. Social media is actually increasing the value of being physically present in order to connect. Christian community doesn't exist simply for the sake of community, it exists as a means for building authentic faith. To do this we have to stop asking what we can do for people and start asking how we can invite them to be the church.
10. Everybody knows Harry (Potter that is). Everyone connects with compelling stories be it Harry, Frodo, or Luke Skywalker. We've all watched movies, heard speakers or read books that really made us think, and we've all experienced the ones that made us fight to stay awake. It wasn't the quantity of truth they were giving us, that made the difference it was the way they engaged our imagination. In our media saturated world everyone has access to information (truth) what they lack is a context through which to apply those truths to their life. By focusing on how we communicate truth, we can provide them with a context, that will make them See, make them Care, and make them Hope. As leaders we are called to unveil the greatest story ever told in away that invites a generation to the wonder, discovery and passion of the very character of God.
I highly recommend the book. If you are feeling dissatisfied with the way religion operates, and longing for something more meaningful, this book would be a great spring board for the conversations that will help you move and rethink. You can buy it here: http://secure.rethinkgroup.org/store4/product.php?productid=1264&cat=&page=1
1. The Gospel is Messy. Never settle for a version of faith that doesn't take risks. The point is "there is a growing frustration with churches who do not respond passionately to a broken world." A messy gospel could compel your church to: a) Love those who don't share your beliefs and values. b) Become missionaries to diverse cultures. c) Show compassion to broken and hurting people. d) Create new ways to share your message. e) Re imagine how you live as the church. f) Change the way you influence the next generation. g) Collaborate with leaders who are different.
2. 98118 The most diverse zip code in the US. 6 square miles, home to 40,000 people speaking 59 different languages. "People are embracing diversity and rejecting those who show signs of intolerance." 1 Peter 3:15 "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord, always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have, but do this with gentleness and respect". The goal is not to get people to trust me so that they will hear me, but to love people in such a way that they will ask me. What people feel save to ask may be determined by how much they know you care about them.
3. Sundays are for Football. Re imagine ways the church can influence active communities. how do we take the gospel to the people instead of waiting for them to come to the gospel. Statistically 25% of Americans treat Sunday like a Holy Day, the other 75% treat it like a holiday. "if you build it they will come" worked in field of dreams, but for 75% of people in the US, it simply doesn't work. How will we "GO" and make disciples?
4. They Blew up Walnut Grove. We must wake up to the reality of today's complicated family (and stop trying to make everyone fit the mold of 'Little House on the Prarie' type families.) Every family is broken. Those who go to church and those tho don't. Those who are married and those who aren't. Those who believe like you and those that don't. All families need Hope! That's why the church is so important, why the gospel is so powerful. Most people only know the church by what is on our billboards & picket signs, or which side of a political issue we take. Families need to know there's a better story, God's story, but Christian leaders need to discovery new ways to respond to the complicated issues facing this generation of families.
5. Zombies are Easy to Lead. Too many Christian leaders treat people like they should mindlessly follow us (like zombies), instead of treating the people that we lead like they are made in the image of God. Leaders are being called to model a new standard of authenticity and empathy. The people I lead want me to 1. Care about their future (not just my own) 2. Value their talents (they have gifts I don't) 3. Respect their ideas (it isn't my way or the highway) 4. Make good decisions (for the benefit of the mission we are on together) and 5. Do something that matters (they want to be a part of something meaningful, not just a part of something)
6. Improv or Die. Collaborate to discover the best solutions. Improv acting groups have 2 basic principles 1. 'no' is an automatic dead end. 'yes' always leads to possibilities. 2. Make your partner look good. Stop thinking in silos, or in terms of experts, and start thinking, how can we work together to make this as excellent as possible. Scripture makes it clear that the Body needs every part, every gift, to function properly. We have to lead the way we want to operate, using a variety of gifts and experiences.
7. Wine will be Cheaper than Gas. The economy is a game changer for churches, not just families. As budgets tighten we may have to stop throwing money at problems or ministries, and learn to rely on other things God has given us, like time and talents. Being short on finances forces us to innovate. Maybe this means giving people new places to serve by having them do job's they'd do in their own home, but your church pays people to do, like mow the law, or shovel snow. Maybe it means spending more time thinking about what you will teach than which curriculum you will buy. Maybe it means encouraging people to life debt free lives, or helping them see how the church uses their money in whole new ways. Figure out what it means for your ministry.
8. The Cloud is Here. Social media has given us an ability to communicate anytime anywhere. More people own phones than own toothbrushes. If we are not making time to connect with people where people are connecting, then we will loose the chance to connect with people anywhere. As leaders we can use the cloud to cue parents, mobilize teens, rally volunteers, inspire kids, enlist support, and start a conversation...
9. Third Place Still Wins. (as in a place other than home and work) Make it easy for someone to experience community. The church is uniquely posed to offer a place for face to face connections. Starbucks has thrived during this economic downturn, not because they are selling a luxury item in a recession, but because they offer a place for face to face connections in a world of social media. The church can and should become a place that people turn for genuine community. Social media is actually increasing the value of being physically present in order to connect. Christian community doesn't exist simply for the sake of community, it exists as a means for building authentic faith. To do this we have to stop asking what we can do for people and start asking how we can invite them to be the church.
10. Everybody knows Harry (Potter that is). Everyone connects with compelling stories be it Harry, Frodo, or Luke Skywalker. We've all watched movies, heard speakers or read books that really made us think, and we've all experienced the ones that made us fight to stay awake. It wasn't the quantity of truth they were giving us, that made the difference it was the way they engaged our imagination. In our media saturated world everyone has access to information (truth) what they lack is a context through which to apply those truths to their life. By focusing on how we communicate truth, we can provide them with a context, that will make them See, make them Care, and make them Hope. As leaders we are called to unveil the greatest story ever told in away that invites a generation to the wonder, discovery and passion of the very character of God.
I highly recommend the book. If you are feeling dissatisfied with the way religion operates, and longing for something more meaningful, this book would be a great spring board for the conversations that will help you move and rethink. You can buy it here: http://secure.rethinkgroup.org/store4/product.php?productid=1264&cat=&page=1
Friday, June 15, 2012
Update...
I haven't blogged in a long time. But I have a desire to start over, so I am. We shall see if this foray into blogging lasts any longer than any of my previous attempts. I hope you may be blessed by what you read.
In case you are wondering what I've been up to for the last year. I am happy to say that it has been a great year of Moving and Re-Thinking.
We took a chance on our long term dream by moving in with some friends who had a similar long term dream. Our goal was to experiment with living in community, so that we could get a taste of what it would be like to bring the weary and heavy laden into our home. It was certainly a great trial run. As it turned out, we were the ones who were weary and heavy laden. My wife's Bi-polar disorder was at a crescendo during our experiment. I hadn't figured out how to trust God with that part of life yet, the 40 commute each way cut into our family time, and we were adapting to living in a rural environment as opposed to the Maine version of urban... As I am writing about this experiment in the past-tense, you may have guessed that it didn't quite work out like we had planned. On the upside, we learned a lot. As a result of that dark time in my wife's depression, I finally know what it is like to go to God and tell him that something is too big for me to handle, to just give it to Him and have Him completely change my heart. Not because of anything I did, but because I stopped trying to do it myself, and fell into the arms of a gracious God, who changed my very way of thinking, my impulses... It was a much needed lesson in trust. The first of many. Hopefully I am a better husband, father, and servant for it.
After that, it was like God opened a floodgate of Blessings on our ministry. Our teens got the chance to really tangibly help a family in need. We bought Christmas presents for a family in our community who had lost their job. Our teens raised 100% of the money, and bought the gifts on the simple list the dad had prepared. Christmas Sunday that family was in church for the first time. By Easter the parents had been baptized, and a few weeks later I had the privilege of leading their two teenage daughters and their niece to Jesus. Just a few weeks ago, their teenage son and his friend accepted Christ, and last week one of the girl's boyfriends, came to my office in tears, asking that I help him find Jesus. And they aren't the only ones, 4 other young men have decided to follow Jesus, since Thanksgiving of 2011. I was recently reading a friend's prayer letter and wondering how they got new believers to write such beautiful testimonies, so that they could post them in their letter. This Sunday I got a text message that made it clear. The most recent teen to accept Christ sent me these words, "I went from very broken to very happy today. Thank you so much. See you at Bible Study." My friends get people to write such beautiful testimonies for their prayer letters, because "Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." Words do not begin to describe how blessed I feel to be able to be used by God. I have realized what Paul said is true. There is nothing worth boasting about except what God has done. Nothing else matters.
Recently those lessons in trust have been put to the test. Working 2 part time jobs puts you in a rough spot when neither one provides health insurance, and you don't quite make enough to buy it for your family of 4. So may family has been on Mainecare. In May our legislature voted to change the law so that we will no longer qualify. From a political perspective, I totally agree with the decision. From a "how on earth do I provide for my family" position, I was freaked out! Should I quit a job and stay on assistance? Should I quit both and find a full time job that would provide insurance? Do I beg my church to take me on full time? Do I go back to school so that I can move toward my long term goal of full time ministry? Honestly my first instinct was to take matters into my own hands, to find a way to meet the need. After all just one of my wife's prescriptions alone could cost $60.00 a day!
But God is good, and reminds us at just the right time of the things we need to know. I brought a book home from a conference, that said that trust in God was the most important thing we could teach our kids. I read about the amazing faith of the servants who participated in Jesus first miracle by filling bathtub sized jars with water. (read John 2 from the perspective of the servants. It will blow your mind) I preached a sermon on it and on Proverbs 3:5&6, how we should trust without leaning on our own understanding. And wouldn't you know, the virtue we are teaching the kids at church this month is... TRUST! all month I am reading these lessons and preparing to teach the topic. It is like God is hitting me up the side of the head with a 2x4 saying, "Hey! do what I want you to do, seek first My kingdom and My righteousness and I will take care of everything else!"
So what did I do? I read a book called Quitter by Jon Acuff. It is basically about "how to go from your day job to your dream job without committing marital or financial suicide" . I read it thinking I'd figure out how to quit my jobs, and get the job I really want, or at least one that would help me take matters into my own hands an provide for my family... Apparently I needed one or two more hits with the 2x4... The first chapter of this book was entitled "don't quit your day job". I almost put it down. But I kept reading, and like a younger hipper Gordon Macdonald was speaking to me, I was reminded of the difference between being driven to do something and being called to do it. I was reminded to rediscover the passions God had placed in my life, and to pursue them, and I realized that this is exactly what I am doing. I am in the environment that God wants me to be in, doing the things he wants me to do, and practicing the things I will need to be excellent at before I can do them "full time". There are some changes I need to make to really focus in on my calling, to keep my eyes on the goal instead of the emergencies that pop up, but I am doing what God wants me to do. He is blessing richly, and I know that as long as I keep my eyes on Him, I can trust Him.
So that's a quick over view of what's been going on in my year away from blogging. I look forward to keeping you more informed on what God is doing as I keep Moving and Re-thinking.
In case you are wondering what I've been up to for the last year. I am happy to say that it has been a great year of Moving and Re-Thinking.
We took a chance on our long term dream by moving in with some friends who had a similar long term dream. Our goal was to experiment with living in community, so that we could get a taste of what it would be like to bring the weary and heavy laden into our home. It was certainly a great trial run. As it turned out, we were the ones who were weary and heavy laden. My wife's Bi-polar disorder was at a crescendo during our experiment. I hadn't figured out how to trust God with that part of life yet, the 40 commute each way cut into our family time, and we were adapting to living in a rural environment as opposed to the Maine version of urban... As I am writing about this experiment in the past-tense, you may have guessed that it didn't quite work out like we had planned. On the upside, we learned a lot. As a result of that dark time in my wife's depression, I finally know what it is like to go to God and tell him that something is too big for me to handle, to just give it to Him and have Him completely change my heart. Not because of anything I did, but because I stopped trying to do it myself, and fell into the arms of a gracious God, who changed my very way of thinking, my impulses... It was a much needed lesson in trust. The first of many. Hopefully I am a better husband, father, and servant for it.
After that, it was like God opened a floodgate of Blessings on our ministry. Our teens got the chance to really tangibly help a family in need. We bought Christmas presents for a family in our community who had lost their job. Our teens raised 100% of the money, and bought the gifts on the simple list the dad had prepared. Christmas Sunday that family was in church for the first time. By Easter the parents had been baptized, and a few weeks later I had the privilege of leading their two teenage daughters and their niece to Jesus. Just a few weeks ago, their teenage son and his friend accepted Christ, and last week one of the girl's boyfriends, came to my office in tears, asking that I help him find Jesus. And they aren't the only ones, 4 other young men have decided to follow Jesus, since Thanksgiving of 2011. I was recently reading a friend's prayer letter and wondering how they got new believers to write such beautiful testimonies, so that they could post them in their letter. This Sunday I got a text message that made it clear. The most recent teen to accept Christ sent me these words, "I went from very broken to very happy today. Thank you so much. See you at Bible Study." My friends get people to write such beautiful testimonies for their prayer letters, because "Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." Words do not begin to describe how blessed I feel to be able to be used by God. I have realized what Paul said is true. There is nothing worth boasting about except what God has done. Nothing else matters.
Recently those lessons in trust have been put to the test. Working 2 part time jobs puts you in a rough spot when neither one provides health insurance, and you don't quite make enough to buy it for your family of 4. So may family has been on Mainecare. In May our legislature voted to change the law so that we will no longer qualify. From a political perspective, I totally agree with the decision. From a "how on earth do I provide for my family" position, I was freaked out! Should I quit a job and stay on assistance? Should I quit both and find a full time job that would provide insurance? Do I beg my church to take me on full time? Do I go back to school so that I can move toward my long term goal of full time ministry? Honestly my first instinct was to take matters into my own hands, to find a way to meet the need. After all just one of my wife's prescriptions alone could cost $60.00 a day!
But God is good, and reminds us at just the right time of the things we need to know. I brought a book home from a conference, that said that trust in God was the most important thing we could teach our kids. I read about the amazing faith of the servants who participated in Jesus first miracle by filling bathtub sized jars with water. (read John 2 from the perspective of the servants. It will blow your mind) I preached a sermon on it and on Proverbs 3:5&6, how we should trust without leaning on our own understanding. And wouldn't you know, the virtue we are teaching the kids at church this month is... TRUST! all month I am reading these lessons and preparing to teach the topic. It is like God is hitting me up the side of the head with a 2x4 saying, "Hey! do what I want you to do, seek first My kingdom and My righteousness and I will take care of everything else!"
So what did I do? I read a book called Quitter by Jon Acuff. It is basically about "how to go from your day job to your dream job without committing marital or financial suicide" . I read it thinking I'd figure out how to quit my jobs, and get the job I really want, or at least one that would help me take matters into my own hands an provide for my family... Apparently I needed one or two more hits with the 2x4... The first chapter of this book was entitled "don't quit your day job". I almost put it down. But I kept reading, and like a younger hipper Gordon Macdonald was speaking to me, I was reminded of the difference between being driven to do something and being called to do it. I was reminded to rediscover the passions God had placed in my life, and to pursue them, and I realized that this is exactly what I am doing. I am in the environment that God wants me to be in, doing the things he wants me to do, and practicing the things I will need to be excellent at before I can do them "full time". There are some changes I need to make to really focus in on my calling, to keep my eyes on the goal instead of the emergencies that pop up, but I am doing what God wants me to do. He is blessing richly, and I know that as long as I keep my eyes on Him, I can trust Him.
So that's a quick over view of what's been going on in my year away from blogging. I look forward to keeping you more informed on what God is doing as I keep Moving and Re-thinking.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Sundays are for Football...
The following is an excerpt from Reggie Joiner's book "Zombies Football and the Gospel"
I don't think most churches should simply stop doing what they are doing.
Twenty-five percent of people are coming. A lot of churches are doing great work with a host of people. And a lot of people are happy about it.
We love our churches, and people who love church need churches they love. - All 25% of us.
I am just wondering about the rest of the people... The 75%
Not the people who will show up at church one day, but the people who will NEVER show up. Either they left or they never came to begin with...
Don't miss this shift. 25% of people will be in church this Sunday - the rest think Sundays are for football.
What if you stopped counting the people who come to your church every Sunday and started counting the people in your community who don't?
Don't count those who attend, count those who are absent.
What were we going to do about them? We are great at doing church for people who already go to church and even for those who will go one day. But what can we do to connect with the people who will never go?
They think Sunday is for football.
or they are among the 15% who check "none" for religious preference (it is up from 8% in 1990)
or they are among the 35% who have to work or travel on Sundays.
The 75% who will never have the desire to walk into a building on a bright Sunday morning to listen to a band, or a choir, or a sermon.
Jesus said to leave the 99% to go find the one, maybe we can stop thinking about the 25 long enough to brainstorm ideas to reach the 75%.
Have we forgotten how to be missionaries in our own communities?
Every Sunday, we pass people who will never go to church with us or with anybody else.
Is our primary goal to get them to come to a building from nine to noon on a Sunday? Is there only invitation to the Gospel going to happen because we ask them to stand up in front of a room full of strangers?
What if church, the way we have defined it, will never work for them? It may work for 25 out of 100, but what about the rest? As far as they are concerned, Sundays are for football...
I don't think most churches should simply stop doing what they are doing.
Twenty-five percent of people are coming. A lot of churches are doing great work with a host of people. And a lot of people are happy about it.
We love our churches, and people who love church need churches they love. - All 25% of us.
I am just wondering about the rest of the people... The 75%
Not the people who will show up at church one day, but the people who will NEVER show up. Either they left or they never came to begin with...
Don't miss this shift. 25% of people will be in church this Sunday - the rest think Sundays are for football.
What if you stopped counting the people who come to your church every Sunday and started counting the people in your community who don't?
Don't count those who attend, count those who are absent.
What were we going to do about them? We are great at doing church for people who already go to church and even for those who will go one day. But what can we do to connect with the people who will never go?
They think Sunday is for football.
or they are among the 15% who check "none" for religious preference (it is up from 8% in 1990)
or they are among the 35% who have to work or travel on Sundays.
The 75% who will never have the desire to walk into a building on a bright Sunday morning to listen to a band, or a choir, or a sermon.
Jesus said to leave the 99% to go find the one, maybe we can stop thinking about the 25 long enough to brainstorm ideas to reach the 75%.
Have we forgotten how to be missionaries in our own communities?
Every Sunday, we pass people who will never go to church with us or with anybody else.
Is our primary goal to get them to come to a building from nine to noon on a Sunday? Is there only invitation to the Gospel going to happen because we ask them to stand up in front of a room full of strangers?
What if church, the way we have defined it, will never work for them? It may work for 25 out of 100, but what about the rest? As far as they are concerned, Sundays are for football...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)