Certifiably Justifiable...

Have you ever had one of those conversations * where you hear that you have come across in a way that you didn't intend to?  Have you ever said something, chuckled to yourself or smiled a certain way, and the other person takes umberidge, because they inferred an insult where none was implied. Then, because you didn't mean to offend, you try to explain yourself, to justify the smirk, or the comment, only to have the situation go from bad to worse?  Generally speaking I am not particularly flexible, but when it comes to putting my foot in my mouth, I am a master contortionist, finding new and interesting ways to perform this feat. (pun intended)

My most recent foot in mouth experience came during a recent car ride with my wife.  She said something, I smiled, she guessed what was running through my head, I didn't deny it, but tried to justify why I was thinking what I was thinking, and as I opened my mouth in went the foot.  Then I tried to justify why I had just put my foot in my mouth, and it went from bad to worse.

I put myself in time out and fumed.  I was right, wasn't I.  My smile was certainly justified.  My comments were accurate.  Why was she blowing up over the truth.  How is it my fault if she**  "Can't handle the truth"...  About that time I realized that although what was saying and thinking might have been true ***, it wasn't at all loving, and that's when it hit me.

Why do I try to justify myself?  I am terrible at it.  Why do I have this persistant desire, this need to be understood, to have people see my perspective, as if my perspective is something they cannot live without. ****

Jesus died to justify me.  I am justified by grace, through faith, not by works, so that no one can boast.  You see when I try to justify my opinion, to make someone understand me, I am in effect boasting.  Even if I have reason to boast, like being spot on with my insightful observation, if the result of that observation tears my wife down, rather than building her up, if it doesn't edify the person listening to me, it is sin. 

The Bible tells me that "knowledge puffs up, but love builds up."  I can judge the tree by its fruit, and when I try to usurp Jesus' place as my justifier, by arguing to make myself understood, the fruit is almost always pretty rotten. 

*(usually with your spouse, but not necessarily)
** (insert Jack Nicholson accent)
***(I say might because my wife would debate the validity of my argument)
**** (this from the guy blogging so that other people can read his perspective... can you say oxymoronical...)