Update...

I haven't blogged in a long time. But I have a desire to start over, so I am. We shall see if this foray into blogging lasts any longer than any of my previous attempts. I hope you may be blessed by what you read.

In case you are wondering what I've been up to for the last year. I am happy to say that it has been a great year of Moving and Re-Thinking.

We took a chance on our long term dream by moving in with some friends who had a similar long term dream. Our goal was to experiment with living in community, so that we could get a taste of what it would be like to bring the weary and heavy laden into our home. It was certainly a great trial run. As it turned out, we were the ones who were weary and heavy laden. My wife's Bi-polar disorder was at a crescendo during our experiment. I hadn't figured out how to trust God with that part of life yet, the 40 commute each way cut into our family time, and we were adapting to living in a rural environment as opposed to the Maine version of urban... As I am writing about this experiment in the past-tense, you may have guessed that it didn't quite work out like we had planned. On the upside, we learned a lot. As a result of that dark time in my wife's depression, I finally know what it is like to go to God and tell him that something is too big for me to handle, to just give it to Him and have Him completely change my heart. Not because of anything I did, but because I stopped trying to do it myself, and fell into the arms of a gracious God, who changed my very way of thinking, my impulses... It was a much needed lesson in trust. The first of many. Hopefully I am a better husband, father, and servant for it.

After that, it was like God opened a floodgate of Blessings on our ministry. Our teens got the chance to really tangibly help a family in need. We bought Christmas presents for a family in our community who had lost their job. Our teens raised 100% of the money, and bought the gifts on the simple list the dad had prepared. Christmas Sunday that family was in church for the first time. By Easter the parents had been baptized, and a few weeks later I had the privilege of leading their two teenage daughters and their niece to Jesus. Just a few weeks ago, their teenage son and his friend accepted Christ, and last week one of the girl's boyfriends, came to my office in tears, asking that I help him find Jesus. And they aren't the only ones, 4 other young men have decided to follow Jesus, since Thanksgiving of 2011. I was recently reading a friend's prayer letter and wondering how they got new believers to write such beautiful testimonies, so that they could post them in their letter. This Sunday I got a text message that made it clear. The most recent teen to accept Christ sent me these words, "I went from very broken to very happy today. Thank you so much. See you at Bible Study." My friends get people to write such beautiful testimonies for their prayer letters, because "Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." Words do not begin to describe how blessed I feel to be able to be used by God. I have realized what Paul said is true. There is nothing worth boasting about except what God has done. Nothing else matters.

Recently those lessons in trust have been put to the test. Working 2 part time jobs puts you in a rough spot when neither one provides health insurance, and you don't quite make enough to buy it for your family of 4. So may family has been on Mainecare. In May our legislature voted to change the law so that we will no longer qualify. From a political perspective, I totally agree with the decision. From a "how on earth do I provide for my family" position, I was freaked out! Should I quit a job and stay on assistance? Should I quit both and find a full time job that would provide insurance? Do I beg my church to take me on full time? Do I go back to school so that I can move toward my long term goal of full time ministry? Honestly my first instinct was to take matters into my own hands, to find a way to meet the need. After all just one of my wife's prescriptions alone could cost $60.00 a day!

But God is good, and reminds us at just the right time of the things we need to know. I brought a book home from a conference, that said that trust in God was the most important thing we could teach our kids. I read about the amazing faith of the servants who participated in Jesus first miracle by filling bathtub sized jars with water. (read John 2 from the perspective of the servants. It will blow your mind) I preached a sermon on it and on Proverbs 3:5&6,  how we should trust without leaning on our own understanding. And wouldn't you know, the virtue we are teaching the kids at church this month is... TRUST! all month I am reading these lessons and preparing to teach the topic.  It is like God is hitting me up the side of the head with a 2x4 saying, "Hey! do what I want you to do, seek first My kingdom and My righteousness and I will take care of everything else!"

So what did I do? I read a book called Quitter by Jon Acuff. It is basically about "how to go from your day job to your dream job without committing marital or financial suicide" . I read it thinking I'd figure out how to quit my jobs, and get the job I really want, or at least one that would help me take matters into my own hands an provide for my family... Apparently I needed one or two more hits with the 2x4... The first chapter of this book was entitled "don't quit your day job". I almost put it down. But I kept reading, and like a younger hipper Gordon Macdonald was speaking to me, I was reminded of the difference between being driven to do something and being called to do it. I was reminded to rediscover the passions God had placed in my life, and to pursue them, and I realized that this is exactly what I am doing. I am in the environment that God wants me to be in, doing the things he wants me to do, and practicing the things I will need to be excellent at before I can do them "full time". There are some changes I need to make to really focus in on my calling, to keep my eyes on the goal instead of the emergencies that pop up, but I am doing what God wants me to do. He is blessing richly, and I know that as long as I keep my eyes on Him, I can trust Him.

So that's a quick over view of what's been going on in my year away from blogging. I look forward to keeping you more informed on what God is doing as I keep Moving and Re-thinking.