Unity

INTROSPECTION WARNING:  The following post is written to help the author organize his thoughts on the topic being discussed and to solicit feedback.  It is not intended to provide answers or solutions, nor is it intended as a complaint.

I teach a Parents Sunday School/Small Group at church. The curriculum we are using is designed to go a long with what the children are learning in their Small groups.  The idea is that we apply the Orange concept of "making it personal" so that we will be informed and equipped to reinforce at home what the kids are learning in church.

Sunday we were challenged by 1st John 4:7-14.  The bottom line was "God showed the world His love when He sent Jesus; How will you show His love to the world?

In preparing to facilitate the discussion, I got to thinking, how do we show Jesus' love to the world?

All month we have been talking in our group about compassion.  We define compassion as 'caring enough to do something about someone else's need'. 

God saw our deepest need; forgiveness from sin. He did something about it; sent Jesus.

Jesus entrusted His ministry of reconciliation to us.

Just before He died Jesus prayed:  "As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world. For their sakes I sanctify Myself, that they themselves also may be sanctified in truth. I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word;  that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me. The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one; I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me." 

 John 17:18-23 NASB

Jesus said that the world would know the love of God when Christians are united.

Survey 100 people on the street.  Ask them what the first word that pops into their head is when they hear the word "Christian".  I would be shocked if you could find one who said "Unity".  Survey 100 people in your church, ask them to tell you the first think that pops in to their heads when they think of your church, I wonder if unity would make that list either.  If this were family feud the answer that Jesus seemed to think should be #1, might not even be on the board. 

Every church has lost someone when they decided to do something, be it the style of music, the length of the sermon, the color of the carpet or the brand of coffee used at get-togethers... It seems the one thing that defines churched people is our ability to part ways. 

And no I haven't attend the same church all of my life.  I've moved from one to the next 3 times in the last 10 years, and not one change was because I moved to a different city.  If I am pointing any fingers rest assured that 3 are pointed back at me, and I know it.  I don't want the cycle to continue.

I am the same guy who just posted, just yesterday, about Jonah, and the need to "throw someone overboard for the good of the ship".  I believe Martin Luther did the right thing when he posted his '95 Thesis' on the door of his church, and that God blessed the ministries of both Paul and Barnabas when they parted ways over John Mark. 

I'm not sure perfect unity is something we can grasp (and I'm not sure that it isn't). After all the apostle who said "No doubt there have to be differences among you to show which of you have God's approval" Also said "I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought" (in the same book!)

So if Jesus said that Unity would be the thing that let the world see God's love, then my question is how do we (me, you, and everyone else who claims Jesus as Lord) make unity priority #1.

Jonah

Last Sunday Morning at church my youngest son was given a Jonah story book as a Christmas present.  Just before nap time he asked me to read it to him.  As 3 year olds are want to do, he asked me to read the book over and over and over.

It was only 4 pages long, so I felt compelled to oblige.

Since the book was short on pages, it left out a good bit of information.  It was fun to see what my boy of 3 years knew as I asked him questions and he filled in the blanks.  (He and his brother are both big on the idea that it was a 'big fish' not a 'whale' that swallowed Jonah. Where they learned the distinction I'm not sure, but it is important to them.)

Always looking for a moral to apply to familiar stories, we talked about the idea that Jonah's disobedience put other people in danger.

This is one of those stories where it is tempting to argue that God was somehow being unfair to the poor innocent sailors.  Why put everyone on the boat in danger when Jonah was the problem? Why not have a swarm of bugs come bother just Jonah, or cover him with leprosy until he straightened out his act? Why did God choose to put dozens of lives in danger over Jonah's sin?

God is a teacher and always looking to get His point across, and I believe his choice to put the entire ship in danger because of one man's sin was made to teach us.  Here are a few thoughts on what that might be.

1. Our sin affects others. Like it or not, none of us sin in a vacuum. We like to believe that our sins only hurt us, but it isn't true, and this is just one of several places we see the theme repeated in scripture.

Think of Abraham. He decided that waiting for God to fulfill his promise of giving him a son needed some human intervention, so he sired a child with his hand maid. Her descendants are still at war with the children of the promise, and we cannot turn on the news without hearing about it. One guy a few thousand years ago stepped outside his marriage in a culturally acceptable way with his wife's blessing, and millennia of bloodshed ensued.

If only I could keep that perspective when tempted.

2. Sometimes you have to throw someone overboard for the good of the ship.  The sailors didn't want to throw Jonah overboard.  They did everything they could to solve the problem in their own strength before they threw him over, but it wasn't until they tossed him in that the storm stopped.

Jonah knew it had to happen.  He is the one who told them to do it.

I'm trying to imagine being one of these sailors. Hearing this runaway prophet tell me that the only way to survive the storm is to throw him in the ocean, would have perplexed me. On one hand I'd doubt his credibility. Here he is claiming divine knowledge about how to solve the problem, when clearly his deity is not pleased with him. But after I threw him in and it worked, I'd probably wish that I had listened to him sooner, because I would still have some of the cargo that I had thrown in before him.

There may come a time, when you and I have to decide to let someone go, for the good of the ship. Maybe that will be in our personal life, or in a business or ministry setting.  We may not be able to continue in the direction we need to go with them on board. We may feel horrible about it (and we should), but God will take care of them, we have a responsibility to the rest of the crew, to the mission, to the people that entrusted us with their cargo. Usually this just means making decisions that will cause them to jump over board (quit the job, storm out vowing never to speak to you, find a new church etc.)   But sometimes more extreme circumstances call for more extreme measures.  For all of his insight into the problem, Jonah wasn't jumping overboard, he waited to be thrown, knowing he was putting lives, and the mission of the ship, in danger.  Proverbs says "drive out the scoffer and contention will go out, even strife and dishonor will cease.  We see similar ideas as we read 1st Corinthians 5 or Joshua 7.

What do you think?  Am I reading too much into this? 

I have a post on the importance of unity going up tomorrow. That will probably make it look like I disagree with myself (again).  So tune back in tomorrow then let's talk. I would love to discuss this further.

DISCLAIMER:  This thought is not complete, and it is important to note, before letting todays thought simmer, that there is a well outlined plan for how to deal with someone who may need to be thrown overboard in Matthew 18 as well as serious restrictions on when to do it found throughout scripture.  Just like the sailors did not take tossing Jonah overboard lightly, this should only be done with extreme caution under extreme circumstances.

Sometimes I Get It Wrong

This is a retraction. In my post on Forgiveness I said, "He didn't forgive me until I repented". That was wrong. The truth is that it is by grace we are saved through faith. Not of ourselves, so that no one can boast. We don't clean up our act then come to Jesus. We come to Jesus and he cleans us up. He does the justifying. There is no excuse for what I wrote.

My erroneous blog was a failed attempt to discuss what James talks about. "Faith without actions is dead." Whether or not we are forgiven by God is a matter of His grace, but we are challenged to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. To examine ourselves. If we are not repentant, we can see that our "faith" is "without deeds" and must ask ourselves, "can such faith save us?" We can also apply this standard to those around us. It is what keeps us from throwing our pearls to pigs.

Dan, the friend who brought my error to my attention, said that what I was trying to address is a matter of stewardship not forgiveness. It is poor Stewardship to give someone you wallet when they have a history of stealing, until, through their actions, they have shown evidence of faith changing their hearts. We offer forgiveness over and over, and love them through the circumstances.

But stewardship is not forgiveness.

So my post was wrong. Very wrong.

Forgiveness is freely given. God's love compels me to repent, because I've been forgiven.

The issue at the heart of the post was that actions have consequences, regardless of what we want or what we say. If we have sinned and want to change how people react to us we must demonstrate our faith and the forgiveness we have freely received through repentance. I have observed, and was reacting too, people who say that they are sorry and expect it to restore the relationship that was damaged, without any repentance, who expect that I will treat them differently without having any intention if changing their behavior. To paraphrase James, "can such an apology reconcile you?"

I wish I could tell you that the terrible theology in my previous post was just a knee jerk reaction to circumstances, but I would be lying. Truth is, I posted it, then took it down, worked on it more, then reposted, without ever catching the serious error in my theology. This is why I am so grateful for the body of Christ, and for a friend willing to comment and to hold me accountable. This is the heart of Moving and Re-Thinking, sharing my thoughts and experiences publicly so that others can comment and help me refine my thinking, so that I can continue to move toward Christlikeness.

This was not the first time I've been wrong, and it won't be the last. I look forward to learning from more of you as we continue to spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

Forgiveness

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  Please see the post "Sometimes I get it Wrong" where I address the bad theology that I used when writing this post.  I left this post up, not because I am proud of it, but because I want my blog to have a record that I need to be and can be corrected, and I appreciate the people who have taken the time to correct me and instruct me.

I've heard quite often that forgiveness should not depend on whether or not the other person is ‘sorry’.  I don't believe that.

Truth is I don't put much stock in 'sorry'...
To most folk, 'sorry' just means, 'I feel bad'.
That kind of sorry is selfish.

Forgiveness requires repentance.
To repent means to turn and walk in the opposite direction.

I say this knowing that the idea of 'forgiveness without repentance' has become deeply ingrained in Christian culture. Over 30+ years of church life, many a well meaning person has admonished me to forgive people who have not asked for my forgiveness, or demonstrated an iota of repentance. Many a Christian has asked me to forgive them, without accepting responsibility for their actions or changing their direction.  Multiple songs that are currently very popular in Christian music preach the idea that when it comes to forgiveness, "It doesn't matter if they're sorry or not".

I say this knowing that many will take umbrage with my point of view. I'm probably holding a minority view point. You might think that I am bitter, might even say that my opinion is divisive.

But my objective is to follow what Christ taught, not what most people think He taught.

Jesus loved His enemies. So do I.

He prayed for those who persecuted Him. So do I.

He was willing to go to any length to reconcile man and God, and He gave me a ministry of reconciliation. I take that ministry very seriously.

He died for me before I repented

But… He didn't forgive me until I repented.

His gift of love, His sacrifice on the cross, forgiveness of sins, is freely given.
Salvation is by grace through faith.
Receiving the benefits of that salvation requires repentance.

I want to follow the pattern that He set.
That doesn't mean that I don't love my enemies, it doesn't mean that I am bitter, and it doesn't mean that I am holding a record of wrongs.

It means that before I trust you with my wallet, you had better stop stealing from me.

Before I will treat you like I treated you before you sinned against me that you must repent.
Until then there are consequences to your actions.

This is how I forgive those who have trespassed against me.
This is the measure that I hope you will use when I sin against you.

I am willing to forgive. I'm not interested in holding grudges. I am not bitter or upset. But until you stop stealing from me, I'm not going to give you my wallet. No matter how badly it makes you feel that I don't trust you, I'm not going to treat you like everything is okay until you repent. Until you come to the place where you recognize that your behavior is responsible for the damage to our relationship, the relationship will not be repaired.

Until then, love covers over a multitude of sins.

Love is what compels me to feed my enemy when he is hungry, and to give him a drink when he is thirsty.

Forgiveness may be dependent on repentance, but love is a gift freely given.

Maybe We Need a Little Controversy

Once again Carey says what's on my mind in ways I can't. 

http://careynieuwhof.com/2012/12/why-you-should-create-discontent-in-your-organization/

I only wish I had learned his suggestions for how to do this in an edifying way 2 years ago.

For anyone who may have been hurt by the way I went about leading, I sincerly appologize.  This was my heart.

Why I Blog

So I've been blogging away for about a year and a half, and I thought it might be a good time to go back and take a look at why I blog.

It is good to go back and reevaluate yourself. That is after all one of the principles I advocate here.

My "tag line" says that this blog is, "A place to share my experiences (be they failures or successes) as I try to be a part of the Kingdom of God in tangible ways, and a place where I can get input from anyone who is interested in giving it!"

So as far as a place to share my experiences, I think Moving and Re-Thinking has been a success.  My blog posts are focused on my experiences.  As far as a place where I can get feedback... Well not so much...

I titled the Blog "Moving and Re-Thinking".  I named it this because want to from where I am toward something better, and I want to share that experience with anyone who cares to read about it.

I am not trying to say, "Your doing it wrong". 
I am trying to say, "I just learned this, it's pretty amazing to me, thought you might be interested".

Moving: - According to Websters 'moving' can mean "of or relating to a change" or "stirring deeply in a way that evokes a strong emotional response".  Everything I post here is posted because it challenges me to think or behave differently.  As someone whose spiritual gift set is leadership, the things that challenge me are often related to the way that the Body of Christ works together.

Re-Thinking: - I picked this word after being challenged at the Orange conference.  Romans 12:2 tells us that we need to be "transformed by the renewing of our minds" to put in simply, our thinking needs to change.  The idea of "renewing" to me, implies a consistent long term process, not a single event.  Not a switch that gets flipped when we 'get saved', but a series of changes, as we become more like Christ.  Just think about how the Disciples thinking must have changed as they moved from the cultural faith and religion of the pharisees, to the teachings of Jesus, to the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, to the Missionary work of taking the Gospel to different cultures at the ends of the earth.

So as you read my blog keep these things in mind. 

1. I am sharing the things that influence or challenge me.
2. I want feed back.
3. I intend to post things that will "evoke a strong emotional response" - so my hope is that you will strongly agree or disagree. (and give me your feedback...)
4. My goal is to present not just my own ideas, but the thoughts of Spirit inspired people who are moving and re-thinking, and the scripture that challenges me to move and/or re-think.
5. I hope that sharing the things that have influenced me to change my thinking will inspire you to Re-Think your assumptions. 

As you read this blog, please understand that my intention is not to persuade or to criticize, but to spur you on toward personal re-evaluation, and ultimately love and good deeds.  You may re-evaluate, you may change, or you may come to the same conclusion. My hope is that you will have been inspired reflect on why you think what you think.

One final note.  I am not going to be posting this blog to facebook for a time (though you can still feel free to do so if you are so inclined). If you want to keep reading, you'll have to check it out on purpose, or you'll need to "Follow" the blog.  If you follow you'll get an e-mail when I post something.  So you'll be asked for some basic information by Blogger.

Timing is Everything

God's timing that is...

I have an agenda, a schedule, a calendar.  I used to have a 5 year plan, even a 10 year plan...

God has an agenda too.  I use to think that all I had to do was have Godly priorities and everything would work out fine, but the more I walk through life, and the better I get to know His heart, I am realizing that my desires aren't the problem, my agenda is.

I think I am trying to say that, "God and I have the same end in mind, we just have vastly different ideas about how to get there."

I've often wondered why I didn't get a "calling".  Honestly I grew up expecting that if I just got to know Him well enough, "it" would happen.  I'd mystically understand to the very core of my being what I was created to do.

But calling doesn't always come from a "God called Abram" moment, or from a "And the voice from heaven saying..." experience.  I thought the goal was to quietly go about my business, and wait for someone to say "Follow me and I will make you a fisher of men." 

The more I get to know God the more I understand calling in terms of Romans 12:2 "Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, then you will be able to test and approve what the will of God is, that which is good perfect and pleasing to Him."

The more I get to know God the more I understand calling in terms of Matthew 6:33 "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

I will find a job that meets my needs, so that I won't become a burden or a thief, but also one doesn't lead me to such abundance that forget my dependence on God. 

I will learn what I need to know to further God's kingdom, not to fatten my wallet. 

I will pursue work and education with excellence, but never so much so that I don't have time for the work of God's kingdom.

I won't borrow to get where I think God wants me to be now, because God said that the borrower is slave to the lender, and I don't want any master but Him. Instead I will find a way to accomplish God's goals according to God's methods, not according to my own.

That is the Re-Think moment.  Pursue God's goals according to God's methods.  His kingdom according to His righteousness. 

Trust that God doesn't just plan the ends, He also plans the means. 

Listen for the voice behind you that says "this is the way, walk in it".

Let His word be "a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path", even if there is only enough light to see one step at a time...

Because God's timing is perfect.

A checklist for leaders.

Below is part of a recent Blog Post by Carey Nieuwhof.  You can read more from him here:
http://careynieuwhof.com/2012/11/a-critical-question-that-could-transform-your-leadership-style/

Carey Writes: "Here’s the question I’ve begun asking over the last few years. It’s become almost an all consuming question.
 
Are people better as a result of working with me?
 
Here are some ways to gauge whether the people around you are better off as a result of working alongside you or ‘for’ you:

• Have they grown spiritually?
• Has their leadership ability increased?
• Has their character developed and deepened?
• Are they closer to God?
• Are they better people?
• Have they accomplished significant things in the course of serving?
• Do they have a keen sense that God is using them to make a difference?
• Are their families glad they signed up?
• Do they feel more fulfilled?

The question doesn’t drive nearly as much toward whether it’s easy, but it does drive toward whether it’s worth it. Is it worth it to have given as much as I’ve given? Is it worth it to have devoted my best talents, energies and resources toward this cause?
 
If you can create a leadership culture like that, you will have truly led a great organization. Not everyone will stay forever, but they will have been better for having said “yes” when you ask.
 
What are you learning in this area? What might you add to the list of ways to ensure people are better for working with you? Is there a better way to frame the question?"

Again all of the above was written by Carey Nieuwhof - Read the entire post here:
http://careynieuwhof.com/2012/11/a-critical-question-that-could-transform-your-leadership-style/

The value of Re-Thinking

The Orange Leader's blog recently posted this "Ted Talk"  all about how we tie our shoes.   It will take you 3 minutes to watch the video.

I watched it and remembered that Orange is not just a children's "program" or a curriculum.  It is part of something bigger called "the re-think group". 

There are huge benefits to be had when we challenge our basic assumptions, when we re-think the way we've always done something, when we take the time to make a minor adjustment.  We are creatures of habit, and we seldom stop to think what might happen if we did something just a little differently.

I want to be the kind of person who is always open to learning and growing.  I think we all say that, but how many of us will actually take the time to re-think how we tie our shoes?  Ultimately we tend to take a "if it is not broken, don't fix it" approach to life.  There is no sense of urgency about learning a knew method for tying shoes. 

But what do we do when we know something is broken? When we know it needs to be fixed, how do we approach the situation?  I tend to try harder, but continue using the old methods.  I go back to basics, or to what I know worked before, rather than innovating.  In other words, I get stuck in a rut, and eventually that rut gets so deep that I don't even know how to get out.

Maybe I just find this video interesting because of all of the other "orange thinking" that I have been exposed to.  My hope is that after watching, you'll have a better understanding of why I call my blog Moving and Re-thinking.  Maybe you'll be challenged to take a fresh approach to some challenge in your life. "You are doing it wrong" doesn't always have to be a criticism, sometimes, it is just a fact.  There is a better way to do something, a way you've never considered.

I Am So Selfish

Have you ever noticed how whatever uncomfortable thing you are going through seems to be the biggest problem in the world?  We can easily convince ourselves that no one has been through anything quite like what we are going through now. 

We recognize this in our kids.  Each bump or bruise, each time they don't get what they want, they react like the world is coming to an end.  They make the problem a million times bigger that what it really is. 

Let me give you an example.  My 2 year old fell and bruised his knee.  At first he cried loudly and told me that he was going to die.  Then he was convinced for 2 days that we needed to go to the doctor and get crutches for him.  In reality the bruise was smaller than a dime, and he can run, jump and play like he always has.

But don't we do the same thing?  Our perspective may be a bit bigger, so we focus on different issues.  But if the problem is on the higher end of what we have experienced, then we act like my 2 year old.  (or maybe this is just me)

Case and point.  My wife has been gone for 3 weeks.  Many people tell me I am crazy for letting her go, and know I am crazy when I tell them it was my idea that she go.  In the midst of this 3 week experience I've been overwhelmed with the playing the role of both dad and mom, and moving to a new home without her.  Even after all of the amazing help she gave by getting our move ready and arranging the schedule of baby sitters, I have been amazed at the difficulty of life without my spouse. Friends and family come up to me with concerned looks, ask me how I'm doing, cook meals for me like someone is in the hospital, men shake their heads and tell me they are terrified to have their wife gone for 3 hours, let alone 3 weeks...

Don't get me wrong I really appreciate the support.  More than words can say. My purpose is not to criticize anyone but myself.  This has been on the difficult fringe of my spectrum of experience.  But how does it compare to the experiences of others all around me.  When a member of the military deploys for months at a time, do I respond with the same amount of love and support people have shown  me?  My spouse is on a glorified vacation for almost a month, theirs will be at war for months at a time.  I have a new level of appreciation for our men and women in uniform, and a much deeper respect for those they leave behind.

But even as I think of them, there is another type of person who deserves more love and support from me.  When I think of the military spouse, I feel foolish for making my recent experience seem so harrowing. As much as I cannot imagine being a military spouse, it is even more impossible for me to imagine being a single parent.  I know my wife is coming back.  The military spouse has fear of the worst, but also has hope of the return of their loved one.  The single parent is alone. No one organizing the boxes, or the sitters before they leave, no one to e-mail or chat with once in a while.  No relief. 

I cannot even imagine. 

No wonder God tells us that true religion is to look after orphans and widows in their distress. 

So today, as I am just two and a half days from having my spouse back, I realize that I have been so selfish.  My eyes have been on what I don't have, rather than on all that God has given me. 

Lord, I pray that you will use this experience to open  my eyes to a knew level of loving the people around me.  That I will be able to get my eyes off myself and my problems, and focus on showing love to others who need love and support, who need someone to be Jesus to them.

Is This Your Church?

I stumbled across B.A.D.D., a Christian drama company, when I was looking for good illustrations for a youth group message.  They did some great modernized versions of Jesus' parables, that really connected with the students.  I hadn't been back to see what they'd been up to on YouTube in a while.  I had a few good laughs this afternoon while "catching up" with them.  Then I came across this video.

Not sure what you think, but I laughed, I was offended, I was convicted, I was disgusted, and I was left wondering how this happens.

Haven Part 3

We moved.

Just across town, but it is a BIG move for us. We went from renting to being the stewards of the amazing home I told you about in my last "Haven" themed post.

Yesterday at 12:22 I arrived at the apartment we'd been living with the U-haul.  I had 29 friends and family members waiting in the yard, ready to help us move. (That number does not include the children who joined their parents in helping us.)  By 1:33 we had all had our fill of pizza, and I was backing the U-haul out of the driveway.  By 2:30 it was unloaded. 

This amazing feat is not only a testament to the wonderful friends with whom God has blessed us, but also to my wife's amazing organizational skills. It felt like she was a part of moving day, even though she was in Hungary, because she had everything ready to go, and labeled so that we could organize it quickly on the other end. 

I arrived at our new home were other friends were already busily cleaning carpets, dusting shelves and scrubbing floors.

Some were ready to leave when the truck was unloaded, others would stay until evening helping us unload boxes and clean.  Before the amazing group of volunteers scattered, I called them all into the living room, and told them the following.

1. THANK YOU
2. This house is a gift from God
3. The owners have told us that their one condition for letting us use this amazing house is that we keep a room or two open for people who need a roof over their heads. Something we are eager to do.
4. The Bible makes it really clear that we should use the gifts we have been given to bring glory to God or we will lose them.  We intend to use it.
5. If you are ever in need or know of anyone in need, let us know, so that we can prayerfully consider sharing this blessing.

Since then two of the families that helped us move have mentioned that they know people who might be in need of just the kind of help we are looking to offer.  This blesses me more than words can say. 

We aren't yet ready to take people in quite yet.  For starters, Shandy will need to get back from Hungary. Then she and I will need to sit down and figure out how to evaluate the various needs that we will no doubt encounter, and what kinds of arrangements we will need to make with the people who come to live with us.  That said it is good to know that our friends took us seriously about the ministry we feel called to do. It seems clear that there is a need, a void that we will be able to fill.

In other news, one of our friends called me to ask if she could swing by the house and pick some acorns from our woods from her son's school project.  It is so cool that she would ask, and that we could be a blessing.

Can't wait to see what kinds of things God is going to do with Haven.

This Kicked my Butt.

I sat down with my coffee, to enjoy a little reading before starting my day at the office.  To my great delight, there was a post from my favorite blogger.  It was even on a topic that I am really wrestling with.  I thought to myself, "Pumpkin coffee and and a Carey Nieuwhof post on leadership, a perfect start to my morning". 

Then I read the post and got my butt kicked.  I hope you enjoy, and are challenged.

http://careynieuwhof.com/2012/09/the-number-one-reason-you-and-the-people-you-lead-dont-change/

Haven Part 2

You can read Haven Part 1 here. 

Haven is the name Shandy and I have given to the ministry we believe God has called us to.  As we have traveled the journey He has been leading us on, the specifics of Haven have changed, but a few things have stayed the same.

1. People, in need will live under the same roof as our family.
2. We will share our lives and our faith with them
3. We will mentor them, spiritually, emotionally, practically...

My wife and I are both the type to try to 'make' things happen.  We like to make a list, and have a plan, but not matter what we put on paper, something came up, and this mission has been hold, even seemed impossible for a long time, but as I said in Haven Part 1... Then the phone rang...

It was a couple from our church, who had also attend the church I grew up in.  I've known them for the better part of 15 years.  I helped them move into the house where they are living, enjoyed annual Christmas parties at their home, envied the way they can finish each other's sentences, and seen them be generous with all that God has given them.  The wife was there when we first saw our babies via ultra sound.  She has been there when my wife needed someone to bridge the gap between physician and friend during the battle with Bi-polar.  I've watch the husband devote himself as both husband and father, modeling the self sacrificing love that Christ calls us to as men. We've worked together in ministry, and they even trusted us with their kids on occasion.

They called to tell us they were moving.  She is taking a job in another state, but they love the home they designed together, and don't want to sell it.  They want someone to take care of the place until they are ready to retire, or until God says it is time to let it go. 

We were speechless.  The opportunity was too amazing to possibly be real.  We had a hard time knowing what to say because we were overwhelmed by the size of the generosity and trust they were extending.  It is humbling, and awesome, and exciting all at once.  And that's when we thought they were asking us to do it for just a year.  We littlerally couldn't talk when we found out that it might be as many as 10 years.  (I will use James 4:13-16 as a disclaimer)

A week from today they will pull out of the driveway to start the next chapter of their adventure, and we will pull in to start the next chapter our ours.

I haven't told you the coolest part yet.  The Haven part.  The "Wow, God is Awesome" part.

They had one condition.  Their condition was that we keep the house open to whomever needed a place to stay.  Be it for a weekend, a week, a month, or a year.  They know the house is a gift from God and they know that they should to use it to honor Him, and their one requirement of us is that we continue their ministry to those in need of a home.  As the Apostle Paul once said, "The very thing we were eager to do".

We don't know who God will bring into our home, or how much time and energy this style of life will take, what the implications are for other jobs or ministries, but we do know that God has provided us with a home. God has taken away the biggest line item in our budget, provided years of the financial security that we thought was gone when we said no to the job with US Customs. He has shown us that nothing is to big for our God.  He has shown us that He is the one who directs our path.  The the same God who took care of Israel in the desert, who took care of Elijah in the wilderness, who feeds the birds  of the air, and clothes the lillies, is our God, and is our provider.

Malachi - a confession

WARNING: Extremely Introspective Blog Post.

WARNING: Bible Reading Required.

If you haven't done so in a while go read Malachi.  Carve out a solid half hour so you can read it, as it was intended to be read, beginning to end.  (Seriously, please don't read this post until you have read Malachi... Malachi is much better reading anyway.  Also while I have you hear in parenthesis, I will give my standard warning about annoyingly introspective )

If you are like me, and guilty of neglecting Old Testament books that don't start with the letter 'P', you may not notice what an excellent piece of literature this little book is. 

It is the perfect punctuation for the OT. 
It puts our sin right in our face, while giving us hope at the same time. 
It doesn't pull any punches.

This is a book of the Bible written to the religious. Bear that in mind.  The people being warned are do not belong to a wide world of those who do not know God, but to a people comfortable in their theology, content with their level of understanding and convinced of their own righteousness because of how they practiced religion.

I preached out of Malachi once.  It was my last series of messages before leaving the church I grew up in.  I was young(er), (more)arrogant and disillusioned. I used this book like a weapon, as a way of railing against all of the things I thought my church was doing wrong.  This morning I read Malachi, and was very tempted to apply what I read to others rather than to myself.  But as I have been meditating on it throughout the morning, I have been convicted that I need to use the word as a mirror.  Here are some of the verses that convicted me, and my accompanying confessions. 

"I have loved you," says the LORD. But you say, "How have You loved us?"

I am blessed beyond measure, but spend most of my time focused on my "problems".

 ***

"But when you present the blind for sacrifice, is it not evil? And when you present the lame and sick, is it not evil?

Guilty.  How often do I turn in an effort that is "good enough" instead of giving my best to God?

 ***

You have wearied the LORD with your words. Yet you say, "How have we wearied Him?"



So many hours spent talking about things of the Lord, but when it comes time to apply them, I shrink back, or stand silently by while others shrink back, and refuse to properly apply the word.

 ***

"From the days of your fathers you have turned aside from My statutes and have not kept them. Return to Me, and I will return to you," says the LORD of hosts. "But you say, 'How shall we return?

Tradition has been my filter for so long, that I am no longer sure what true worship even looks like.

 ***

"Will a man rob God? Yet you are robbing Me! But you say, 'How have we robbed You?' In tithes and offerings... Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse

I budget: "This time/energy/money is God's, this over here is for family, this is for pleasure, this is for work," etc...  I give what I feel obligated to give, and keep the rest for myself. I convince myself it is more than others give, but if I am honest I now it is less than my Great King is asking of me.  It is all His, but I treat it like it is all mine, and He should be happy with what I give Him.  I rob God.

 ***

Then those who feared the LORD spoke to one another, and the LORD gave attention and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before Him for those who fear the LORD and who esteem His name... So you will again distinguish between the righteous and the wicked, between one who serves God and one who does not serve Him.

In a sea of those who are religious there is a smaller group made up of people who actually fear the Lord. I must learn to tell the difference.  I must fear the Lord and seek out others who do so.

 ***

"For behold, the day is coming, burning like a furnace; and all the arrogant and every evildoer will be chaff; and the day that is coming will set them ablaze," says the LORD of hosts, "so that it will leave them neither root nor branch. But for you who fear My name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings..." 

 

Lord forgive my arrogance, teach me to fear you.







Walkabout Day 3

The third day of my walkabout, was scheduled to be a climb up and across the Saddleback Mountain range a series of three 4000 foot peaks.   I thought I would try it, but after about 2 miles The knees just wouldn't take it anymore.

I spent the rest of the day in a series of caves and on Piazza rock, reading my Bible and talking to God.  It was the best part of my time in the woods.  Relieved of the distraction of climbing mountains, I was able to focus on my real reason for being in the woods.

I got to read entire books of the Bible.

I spent hours in prayer and solitude.

I was reminded of the value of being still and knowing Him. 

It was extremely refreshing. 

I spent a third night in the woods, and the following day I sang old hymns loudly as I hiked down from lofty mountain grandeur, saw the brooks and felt the gentle breeze.  I then got to spend another 1/2 day in the woods and the word while waiting for my wife to pick me up.

Just before my hike I bought a medallion.

It appealed to me because it reminded me that if I want strong branches I must have strong roots.  If I want to bear fruit, I have to be well nourished.  If I want what people see to positively influence them, then I need to be diligent and disciplined in the things they can't see.

I think that this was the biggest lesson from my time in the woods. 
I have been so focused on trying to bear fruit that I forgot the wisdom of Psalm 1.

 

Blessed is the man... whose delight is in the law of the Lord,

and in His law he meditates day and night.

He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,

Which yields fruit in its season and it's leaf does not wither;

and in whatever he does, he prospers.

Seems like a simple lesson. 
Put first things first...
Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness... 

Sometimes I get so focused on seeking His kingdom, that I forget to just seek Him. 

Like not being able to see the forest for the trees, or not being able to enjoy the trail because you are thinking about the difficult climb ahead...

I needed to be reminded.

Meditate on the Word.

Because if the roots are healthy, the fruit and the leaves will be healthy.

 

For the ground that drinks the rain which often falls on it and brings forth vegetation useful to those for whose sake it is also tilled, receives a blessing from God; but if it yields thorns and thistles, it is worthless and close to being  cursed and it ends up being burned. 

Hebrews 6:7&8

Walkabout Day 2

The game changer for day two of my hike was the little knee injury from the previous day.  I think I hurt it initially about a month ago when hiking with the teens.  I slipped and landed badly, but the terrain wasn't so bad and I kept going.  It wasn't until the next day that it really hurt.  On the second day of my walkabout I realized it was likely the same injury.

 

With 11.4 miles ahead of me, I decided to get an early start.   My first break would be about five miles down the trail at a spot where the trail cam near a small pond.  I was about two miles in, enjoying the beauty of the forest in the early morning, and singing loudly and badly, when Sunshine, a thru-hiker, caught up to me.  I managed to keep up with him for the next two and a half miles, and enjoyed conversation and trail stories.  We took our ease at the lake, and I heard a bit more of his life when he's not on the trail, and shared a bit about my life.  As with Troubadour the night before, I wished that I could say something profound that would turn our conversation to things eternal, but it didn't happen...  When we started back down my aching knee had started taking it's toll, and the morning spent hiking faster that I probably should have also was having an effect, and I was quickly outdistanced. 

It wasn't long before being gentle on the left knee started taking it's toll on the old car accident injury to my right knee, and the possibility that I may not get over the looming mountains grew to a probability. 

 

As I hiked I wondered why these journeys always seem to end early on account of injury.  As I traversed the miles in solitude, I came up with three distinct possibilities.

 

1. Perseverance:  Could it be that I'm just a wimp, and don't like to do things that are uncomfortable?  I met an eight or nine year old boy on a day hike with his family, and you could tell by the look on his face he wasn't enjoying his trek.  He looked at me and asked "Can you tell me how this is supposed to build character?" as though someone had told him that hiking would do so, but he really didn't believe them.  I told him that it would teach him to keep going even when things got hard and that would help him in everything else.  His dad smiled broadly and as our paths crossed I heard him say something to the effect of "see that's what I've been telling you".  Perhaps that was the lesson I needed to learn.  Just persevere.  Don't quit because it isn't easy.  Fight through it.  Like I told that boy, it is a lesson worth learning, that has application for every aspect of life, and especially ministry.

 

2. Refocus.  I went out on the trail to spend quite time with God, but all I could think about was the trail, the mountains, the miles, etc.  Hiking was supposed to be my secondary objective, but there I was ready to quit because hiking hurt.  I has told my wife I needed at least three nights alone in the woods with God.  I needed to focus on that objective, being alone with God.  To be still and know Him better, but my focus was all on hiking.  I realized that ministry can be the same way.  I find myself so busy that what should be an expression or overflow of my relationship with God becomes my main objective.

 

3. Get Healthy.  Sometimes the simple solution is the best one.  Sometimes, you hurt and can't do what you want to do because you are just six years older than the last time you tried this and you've gained weight, and sat behind a desk for too long.  Sometimes you need just this kind of a wake up call so that you'll get into the kind of shape you know you'll need to be in to keep up with two little boys who will soon be teenagers.

 

I think that's enough for today... 

All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful;  yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.  Therefore strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble, and make straight paths for your feet so that the limb which is lame may not be put out of joint but rather healed.

Hebrews 12:11-13

Walkabout Day 1

So this years walkabout went about like this...  I didn't hike nearly as many miles as I intended, I realized that I am not nearly as fit as I think I am, I learned some much needed humility, and I met with God.

 

Day 1 was a short 4ish mile trek from Rt 17 to Sabbath Day Pond.  It was beautiful, It was just challenging enough to remind me that I hadn't hiked with a pack in 6 years, and it was a great opportunity to just thank God for the chance to be out in the woods.  I quickly realized that there would be a bigger challenge ahead of me.  I actually hate being alone, and the idea of being in the woods just me and God was daunting.  I had to spend some serious time meditating on that.  Why was being alone with God so overwhelming?  Why was I hoping other hikers would show up? Wasn't I coming out to be alone with God?  Well the other hikers came after just a few hours, and I got the distraction I thought I wanted.  I had a good conversation with a thru-hiker named Troubadour, who was quite a musician, and put on a mini concert for several of us that night.  We all shared trail stories, and it was good, very restful, and I thought an excellent way to start my trek.

On a side note,  I scared a partridge.  The thing was so close when it took off that a wing literally hit my hiking pole.  If you have ever heard a partridge take off, you know how loud they can be, and in the peace and quiet of the woods, it was enough to make me jump about 10 feet out of my boots.  As I started to feel foolish for being so startled by a bird, I heard something else crashing through the woods.  I turned to see what I thought was a skunk coming through the brush, and not wanting to get sprayed I scooted away.  From behind me I heard hissing and snarling, so I turned around to see what it was, and it wasn't a skunk but an angry badger.  I have never met a badger in the woods, but I now know where they get their reputation for being mean and fearless.  The twenty pound critter was pretty ticked at me for scaring away its lunch, and meant to make sure I knew.  It reared up as I turned around, teeth bared, and claws up, like it was a miniature bear. When he had finished his roar of challenge he dropped to all fours and came at me! Seeing no need to fight the badger I did the only sensible thing and ran away... 

 

On another side note, I was going down a long flat rock that had a pretty good angle and started to slip.  I caught my self quickly, but not before doing something to make my left knee make a strange popping sound (my left knee is supposed to be my good knee, as my right knee was injured in the car accident I had when I was 20, and has never been right since...)  I didn't think much of it at the time, as it didn't seem that bad, but just before I reached camp I had to do a pretty good down hill, and it really hurt...  It was the beginning of a lesson, and you can read more about it in tomorrow's post.

 

"And you know the plans that you have for me, and you can't plan the ends and not plan the means..." Caedmon's Call.

Prelude to a Walkabout

Some cultures call it a walkabout, some a vision quest, I like to think of it as a mini version of what Jesus did...  Going off into the wilderness to meet with God.  Jesus did it for 40 days, I'll be doing it for 9, and he did it without food or drink, I'll be bringing both, but the goal is the same: to get away from all of the distractions, and get some much needed perspective on my mission.

I did this for the first time 7 years ago.  So much has changed since.  7 years ago I was single, today I am a husband and father.  7 years ago I was an 'almost man' in transition, today I am a tree with roots.  I think that I have learned more about who God is and what matters in the last seven years that I had in all of the years leading up to them.  It started with a journey.

I was broken when I started that journey, and I learned that I needed further breaking.  I profoundly proud, and needed to be humbled before I would truly be useful.  I had just made the decision to leave the church where I had grown up, and where I had first served my King. Circumstances had come together to make me see some things about the culture that had formed my view of who God was, that I could not tolerate, and I had to leave.  But my whole identity was wrapped up in that culture.  Who was I without it?  That was what I needed to find out, and that was the reason for my first walkabout. 

I hit the Appalachian Trail, or AT, for what I thought would be a 30+ day hike from the New Hampshire border to the top of Mount Katadhin...  I was home within 48 hours.  I will never forget the meeting I had at the top of that first mountain.  Two old guys were in the lean two when I arrived.  They took one look at me and laughed.  "What are you planning to do with that axe" they asked, "Who do you think you are, Paul Bunyan?"  They were guides, men who knew the mountains well.  They would lead boy scouts into the woods, and help them understand what they were doing.  They asked me how heavy my pack was, and were extremely critical of almost every item I unloaded to use that night.  They offered to go through my pack like they would do for the boy scouts, and help me get rid of anything I didn't need.  I was tired and achy, and didn't want any part of their harsh criticism.

Today I wish I could find them and ask them to go through my pack and weed out anything I didn't need.  Friday I will start my hike with less than 1/2 as many pounds on my back... 

Those old guys knew what they were talking about.  Because Before I had gone two miles the next day my legs were so tired and achy that they were literally twitching on their own.  It was the strangest thing I've ever experienced. Like some kind of localized seizure...  After falling several times, I did the only logical thing I could do.  Made it to a road, and got out of the woods.

Before I hit the trail again, I took some advise.  I lightened my load, a bit, and started back out.  This time I was only two days in when I slipped, and re-injured my bad knee (originally injured in a car accident 3 years earlier).  I hobbled the next 4 miles to a road, and out I went.  Defeated and dejected.

After licking my wounds (mostly my ego) for a few days, I decided to try one more time.  I picked a section of woods where I would have to go several days  before I'd even be able to get out.  My first night of that hike I was surrounded by people, several of whom were smoking pot and using every 4 letter word I'd ever heard and even some I'd never heard before.  I remember getting ready to set up my tent away from the group, when for the first time on this walkabout I heard God loud and clear. 

God: "Go be with them."
Me: "I didn't come out hear to be around all of that, I came out her to be ALONE, with You."
God:"You are the light of the world, no one lights a lamp and hides it under a bowl".
Me: (grumpy) "Fine!"

I met the Jersey boys, a pot smoking, foul mouthed duo of ner-do-wells.  I met an unmarried couple my parents age who were adept at blending in with any crowd, and I met Mark, a quite marathon running, father of 2 teenagers who was quietly reading a book.

I got a chance to share my Bible and some good conversation with Mark, and by the end of our hike, we prayed together as Mark repented for 2 decades spent running from God. 

The very next morning I split my toe wide open and had to limp out and call it a summer. (I learned a great lesson that day that I will recount for you some other time...)  But that summer I learned what the Bible means when it says: "Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.  For God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."

I had a plan for how I wanted to pursue God.  God taught me that He is the one who does the pursuing.  All I have to do is listen, trust and obey.  He used my weakness to move me into a place where He could use me.  He did it litterally that summer, but He also taught me that His strength is not best seen by my using my strengths.  His strength is made perfect in weakness.

So as I venture out for another walkabout, my first as a husband and father, I am praying that God's agenda will be met.  Whatever that entails...  And I'll tell you all about it in a week or two.

The fun parts

Sometimes ministry is work and sometimes it is fun.  Let me share with you some of the fun parts.

#1.  I got to pray with a little girl as she asked Jesus to forgive her, and change her life.  It made all of the effort that went into VBS well worth it.  Seeing the joy on her face was amazing!  I was SO tired and drained from all the work that went into all of it, and those feeling just evaporated, when something of eternal significance happened.  You can read more about it on the Blog I run for our youth group cbcbrewerteens.blogspot.com.

#2. Networking with other Orange Thinkers.  On Thursday I got a call from Sarah, a mother of 3 and the Children's ministries worker at another church in our area.  She wanted to come see our VBS, because she'd heard that we were doing things a bit differently this year.  Friday night she made it to VBS, and we got to chat for a few minutes. I spend so much time talking Orange to people who don't see the need to combine the influences of church and family, that it was refreshing to spend some time talking to someone who was excited about it, and looking hopefully toward what God was going to do at her church.

#3. Serving with my wife!  Shandy lead the Parents group at our VBS this past week, and it was great to spend time with her finding out what had happened and how people were responding to the ideas she presented.  Since Bi-polar became a part of our lives, she hasn't been able to be "in the trenches" with me as much, and I had forgotten just how awesome it is to have a partner that you trust completely, taking care of vital parts of the ministry.

#4. Hanging out with teenagers.  I had a lot of fun with my skit crew this summer.  I have spent so much time recently with the new believers in our youth group, that I felt like I was neglecting some of the teens that used to get much of my time.  Last night after VBS wrapped up, we had a cast party.  We rode go-karts and played mini-golf and laughed.  We cranked up the radio in the church van and sang at the top of our lungs, and spent time as friends.  It was very good.  (only sad part was that David wasn't able to join us)

#5. Family Day.  This may not sound like part of ministry, but believe me, the cycles that God planned for us are a vital part of ministry!  A day of rest with my wife and kids, is just what was needed after the long busy season of summer ministry.  We went yard sale shopping, bought lots of lemonade from young entrepreneurs and took a drive. 

Rethink - Numbers vs. Obedience

As someone involved in ministry I find numbers are far more a part of my life than I'd like them to be. And I find my self in search of a better tool for evaluating success and failure. Within minutes of every conversation about my work as a youth leader, I'll get the question, "How many teens come to your youth group?" People also want to know how many kids come through our children's ministry. How many hours I work, etc. Numbers are the first tool people use to evaluate success or failure.  They are an easy way to put you in a box.

I'll be honest, I chafe under that type of evaluation.  I could have 200 teens coming to my youth group, but I wouldn't know their names or stories, I wouldn't be able to tell you each piece of spiritual fruit that grows, or which branches need to be pruned.  I wish someone would ask me how my teens were growing rather than how many are attending.  Because no matter how much time and energy I pour into youth ministry there will be more teens at the movies on any given Saturday night than at my youth group.  There will be more people at a Waterfront Concert, than in my church on Sunday, and there will be more kids at the Maine Jump than in Sunday School.  If we evaluate by numbers, then the world wins...  every time.

By this point you probably think the point of this blog post is to complain about the way people evaluate by numbers, you may even feel like I am right, but that I'm being a bit of a whiner about it.  Maybe you disagree and think that my desire to be judged on something other than numbers is motivated by an attempt to have people overlook poor performance.  In either case you'd be wrong.  The reason for this blog post is that I still evaluate by numbers.  If you ask me how many teens come to youth group, I'll be quick to brag about the number that have come to know Jesus in the last few months.  If you ask me about the children's ministry, I'll tell you how it has doubled since I took over, and if you ask me how many kids came to VBS last night, I'll be too embarrassed to tell you.  As  much as I don't like be judged by numbers, I still use them to evaluate success and failure.  You know what that makes me... A hypocrite!

Here's one thing I know.  If we evaluate by numbers then we would all have to agree that Peter's ministry was much more effective than Jesus' ministry.  Think about it.  After 3 years Jesus had 120 people convinced that He was the Son of God.  Peter preached his first sermon and 3,000 were added to that number.  We know that Peter couldn't have done what he did without the events of Jesus life, and without the Holy Spirit, but if we were evaluate their ministries like we evaluate the ministries in your church or my church we'd find ourselves more impressed with Peter...

He's another thing I know, most of Jesus miracles were done for individuals.  One life changed at a time, was enough for the Son of God, and should be enough for me.  That VBS I told you about was just what one single mother needed.  Our new approach, of having parents and kids learn together, may have done a number on our numbers, but it was just what one life needed.  Another mom got some great perspective on the changes that have taken  place in the few months since Jesus became part of her family's life, and a lie the devil had been whispering in her ear was refuted.  Another life positively impacted.  And while I would have liked to see more kids, the ones we had were having a great time and learning some great lessons.

Speaking of those lessons, we learned about Peter, called to leave a life of fishing and become a fisher of men.  We learned that even though he had no idea what that meant he left everything and followed Jesus, confident that if he was obedient, Jesus would take care of the rest.  What if we stopped measuring success in terms of numbers and started measuring it in terms of obedience?

Lord, forgive me for being a hypocrite.  Help me to see the world through your eyes, and to measure success and failure in terms of obedience and not in terms of numbers.

The Overweight Christian (Leader) | careynieuwhof.com

The Overweight Christian (Leader) | careynieuwhof.com

I love reading this guy's blog.  Usually I ask why didn't I think of that, on rare occasions I can say "why couldn't I have said it like that".  This post is one of these occasions. If you have been in or around our youth group you may remember the lesson we did after watching WALL-E.  This is what I was trying to say, only in fewer, far more carefully chosen words.

River of Life

I haven't blogged in a bit because I spent the last week at camp, and the time leading up to it getting ready.  I took our teens to serve for a week, and it was an incredible week.

I thought that they would learn and grow, but I had no idea what it would look like.

For some it was a matter of stretching their wings.  They served God all week long, letting Him love little ones through them. 

For others it was a matter of dealing with disappointment.  Having high expectations of yourself, and learning that "serving as unto the Lord" doesn't always have to mean perfect.  It is okay to forget your lines, to have no one respond to your gospel presentation, to be tired...  God wants all of our Heart Soul and Strength, but even when we lay it all out there, it isn't going to be perfect. (I wish I'd learned that in 8th grade)

Some of the teens seemed to go through a spiritual growth spurt this week.  Starting off with asking for forgiveness, and then finding the fruit of the spirit ripening before their very eyes.  I watched one young man struggle to serve kids even though as he often said "I don't even like kids".  I saw him learn patience with a little boy who peed his pants 4 times before lunch, learn self control when kids just wouldn't listen.  He even sought forgiveness from the children when he fell short.  I never expect this boy to become a man right before my eyes.

I spent an hour just listening to the sobs of one young lady who was convicted of sin.  I got to share 2nd Corinthians 7:10, "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regrets".  She wasn't able to speak the words, but she did write them out, confessing the sin, and later she sought forgiveness from the person she had wronged.  Watching her the rest of the week it was obvious that joy had replaced the anguish she had been feeling.

I had other long chats too.  One in which I forgot to speak the truth in love.  I spoke the truth, but I was angry at the behavior, and it was evident.  It was not righteous anger, it was man's anger, and I fear I may have lost my chance to help the students involved.  Apologies don't always work, sometimes the damage is done, and you loose the fragile trust you've been working to build.  When then happens you pray that God can work, and for another chance, and you realize that you can't always believe the compliments. I am a sinner, saved by grace, and far from perfect.

I also had a front row seat to watch a soon to be high school freshman become a leader, among the kids and among peers, showing wisdom beyond those tender years, and pointing others to Jesus.  MVP, Team Captain, Awesome.  I look forward to seeing what God will do with this life, and I am thankful to have a chance to serve with this amazing student.

The thing that meant the most to me though was my team.  I'm the only one who gets to do this for a living, but they gave freely of their time and talents.  It meant the world to have Leighanna there to help the teens adjust to camp life, and to help me get them focused on the tasks at hand.  Here ministry set the tone for the week.  When she left for her family vacation, Jenny arrived, and taught them what it means to work hard (after having worked hard all day herself).  She also loved them when they were tired and slightly unlovable and shared the truth with them in down to earth practical way only she can.  Nicole and David showed up at just the right time, were there when we had to deal with some teenage drama, and provided shoulders to cry on when two brothers got bad news about a loved one being rushed to the hospital.  Nicole assessed the problems several teens were facing with in minutes of arriving, and gave healthy doses of tough love where needed.  It was amazing to see Philip there, loving and serving the teens after putting in long hours on the construction site, having to leave for work before most of us were even awake and building into the group while I was busy dealing with the heart issues of an individual.  Never saw that coming when he was 12 and I was just learning how lead.

(you can see pictures and read othere stories from the week at camp at my othere blog: cbcbrewerteens.blogspot.com)

Ignorance is Bliss

Ignorance is Bliss.  Really that's not just a title, this is going to be one of those annoyingly introspective blog posts that you'll probably be glad you didn't read. If you aren't in that kind of mood, then you have my permission, no, blessing, to stop reading now...

A few years ago I took a very in depth personality profile through a program called Clarion, that a friend of mine takes people through. The primary goal of Clarion's assessment is to help people understand their own strengths and weaknesses, and what they bring to a team, so that they will be able work better as part of a team.  Parts of it are specifically geared to the church world, but the personality assessments were things I had learned about in psychology classes in college.  Clarion was one of the best things I ever could have done for my marriage, and I highly recommend it.  I would also recommend that any board or committee or ministry team go through the process.  It will revolutionize the way you interact.  If you are in New England and interested in learning more I can put you in touch with the friend who took me through it. 

One of the things Clarion assesses is how you handle being controlled.  Maybe managed is a better word. It came as no great shock that I value autonomy highly.  According to Clarion I don't have to be in control of others, but I really don't like being micro managed.  What it really comes down to is that I highly value being in control of my own outcomes. 


Recently I have learned that I really don't like being "out of the loop" when it comes to decisions being made around me.

Realizing this has forced some introspection.  Why is it that I can't be content with just doing the best I can with what I have been given?  Why do I feel the need to probe and push everything around me?  Clarion tells me that part of the reason is that I am what's called a "Change Agent".  Which may be a nice way of saying that I have the personality of "A person who can't leave well enough alone".  I prefer to think of it as "Challenger to the status quo".  To put into terms of another leadership book I read,  I'm more like the marine who takes the hill, than the guys who come in behind and set up artillery on it. 

I am coming to realize (or at least trying to realize) that ignorance is bliss, because when I stop trying to change everything around me I can focus on just changing what is in front of me.  Being faithful with a few things, rather than trying to leave my mark on everything.  This is helpful because I am also riddled with ADD... Perhaps it is possible that God intentionally has me out of the loop on certain things as a way of directing my focus to what He wants me to focus on.  A type of refinement through circumstances I would not have chosen. With that focus, I am able to move on from my typical "jack of all trades" type way of interacting with the world toward the excellence that is my ultimate goal. 

Thank you Lord, for putting up with me and my flawed ways of thinking.  Thank you for renewing my mind.  Help me to stay focused on the tasks you've called me to without meddling in the places that just don't need my "help".  Most of all thank you for your patience.

Journey (Part Three of Many)

A fact of life, an axiom if you will,  is that people behave according to what they believe. (not according to what they say they believe)  Case and point:  I can tell my wife I love her until I am breathless.  I can believe that I love my wife with all my heart, but until I understand what causes her to feel loved, and do that, she will not be loved. 

As Paul put it, if I can fathom all mysteries, and possess all knowledge but if I have not love, I gain nothing.

I desire to change, not just by reading, but by applying  what I have read.  I desire to do more than meet or listen to compelling individuals.  Instead I want to emulate those characteristics that I find compelling.  I want to filter what I find compelling through the scripture, and I want to know Christ, first by studying Him, then by walking  mile after mile in His sandals.  I want to live like He lived, selflessly, sacrificially  and focused solely on the glory of the Father.

I share this with you, not so that you will think I am wonderful, or spiritual, or intellectual.   I realize that there is always someone more wonderful you could be listening to, more spiritual that you could learn from, and certainly there are many more intellectual who could convey what I am trying to say in a more concise or articulate way.  I simply share these things with you because I appreciate what others have taken the time to write down and share with me.