Change can be Emotional...

Today is an emotional day, because today we end what a friend called a 'Grand Social Experiment.'

27 months ago, we started our long term house sit of a huge house for some extremely generous friends of ours.  All they asked was that we share the blessing with others who may find themselves in need.

15 months ago our friends the Bookers took us up on the offer and moved into the second floor of the house.  Mom (Amy), Dad (Kevin), 3 boys (Kaden 9, Jesse 6 and Ransom 3) and 1 baby girl (4 months) made the jump from being friends to being family.

In the beginning there was lots of feeling mortified as our kids did the kinds of things kids do at home that you somehow manage to avoid them doing in public. And there was a fair amount of being mortified at ourselves, and the way we kept house, or parented.  But as Amy put it, the secret sauce was "radical grace".  Choosing patience, never letting anything fester, and coming to the place where you will genuinely miss being woken up in the night by a crying baby, who became a wicked cute toddler who likes to wake everyone up by throwing things out of her crib.

We knew from the beginning that this would probably not be a forever arrangement. That hasn't stopped it from being an emotional few weeks since they found a phenomenal deal on a little house just outside of town.  My Silas felt it first.  Since the announcement he has been "off" and not able to articulate exactly why.  I was in denial, even when they started taking load after load over to their new place, as they slowly began the moving process.  It didn't really hit me until I went upstairs one day and saw just how much they had moved out.  

Their kids spent one of their last weeks away, and the house was just too quiet. A portent of things to come.  My boys didn't know what to do with themselves with out their extra brothers around, and we realized just how much joy was moving to that little house just outside of town.  Even my dear overworked wife whose schedule keeps her working 13-15 hour days has been getting up early to savor coffee and toast with Amy.  My dear wife, who, even when it was just the two of us, found 1 person too overwhelming until she had spent at least an hour in silence with her bible and a cup of coffee, has spent her first waking moments several times this week in the natural chaos that is 5 little boys and 1 baby girl, just to savor the last drops of the joy that the Booker family has brought to our home.

My Silas has learned that leading means putting others first from Kaden (and man I will miss having you mow the lawns!).  We've all gotten a little tougher as Jesse's 'nothing slows me down' attitude and abundant energy have rubbed off on us. (you seriously are one of the strongest, toughest people I have ever met) Infectious laughter has been a constant in our house as Isaac and Ransom laugh at anything and everything the other says or does.  Little London has blossomed from a 4 month only baby to a year and half old little lady who will take my hand and sit me down on the carpet and play with me, clapping her hands when I finally understand what she is trying to get me to do (I am the only one who can call you princess).  

I've been grateful for a brother living under my roof.  Whether its remembering to take out the trash when I forget.  Fixing little things without being asked, using his snow blower to keep a path clear to the wood pile for me, almost weekly basketball games, or just being someone I can bounce big ideas off, I have treasured our unexpected deep conversations in the kitchen as you cooks up you latest kill, and lots of free samples of venison.  

Then their is Amy, who has made my transition to "house husband" much smoother.  She does so much around the house in her constant attempt to bless Shandy.  I swear the woman has washed more of my dishes and folded more of our clothes than I have.  While she has been trying to bless Shandy, I have certainly been blessed as well.  She makes my wife smile, helps her to process big thoughts, and gives her a reason to express big feelings.  Without you being the friend to Shandy that you are, she would not have gotten through her lowest points. You have been the quintessential best friend to her and thank you just seems insufficient.

All of these blessings and one more.  We've long desired to be a Haven for those who need it.  To provide a place where people can step out of some of their stresses and into a place of rest.  Given some of our past experiences we've wondered if we were cut out for it.  This was not our first attempt at living with friends.  In our 8 years together we have lived with extra people underfoot more often than not. Shandy's sister, a guy from our small group, good friends, a single mom and her 3 kids.  Ups and downs, some of which made us wonder if we had misunderstood the calling we call Haven.  You have renewed our hope that our Haven is a real and tangible thing.  That we can be a blessing and be blessed at the same time. 

Thank you for being a part of our experiment.  We consider it a huge success.  You came to us as friends and go out as family.  We will miss having you underfoot.  We pray (HARD) that God will continue to grow our connection to each other as you embark on the next chapter of your story.  May your little house just outside of town be filled with all of the joy that you brought to ours.

One Year Later

I’ve heard a million illustrations for what leading change is like, but in this instance it was driving a car where each passenger had access to a brake pedal.

Imagine driving a car like that.  Or for today’s story, envision yourself helping the driver interpret the map and the guide book, and helping him take care of the passengers.  You know the Guide (in this case God) who gave you the keys wants you to fill the car with people who can't find their way, but for every down on their luck hitchhiker you pick up, one of the passengers who has been with you for a while steps on the brake, hops out and climbs into another car. You try to move on, but that was someone’s friend, someone’s parent, or child.  The other long term passengers may not have gotten out, but they are understandably upset.

When you try to start moving forward, the car won’t move because someone has their foot on the brake. They ask you to track down the car that their loved one is now riding in and convince their loved one to get back in your car.

You try explain that all the cars are heading in the same direction, and that you have to focus on helping people currently heading in the wrong direction.  You try to dialogue about why you are determined to press on.

In doing so you find yourself repeating things you need to hear. The destination is worth it. You can get their faster in the car.  The car can carry more people.  But for every foot of progress there is another foot on the brake, and it wears you down.

You get frustrated, like we all have when driving. In a moment of road rage and you lash out at a passenger or two.

After that outburst, a few of people who once encouraged you to keep going are putting on the brakes.  Some do it hoping to get everyone working together.  Some are reminding you that the mission is worth the frustration, and others remind you that no matter what happens those driving the car can’t take their frustrations out on the passengers.  Everyone says they want the vehicle to move forward, but until they reach some kind of consensus the car isn’t moving.

Despite your frustrations, you love the passengers, and it dawns on you that, with a few modifications to the car, you could make this work.

But working on the car requires pulling over, having everyone get out, and you’ll need some serious teamwork if you are going to overhaul this thing.

You and the driver read and study as people grow restless.  You start sharing the fruits of your research and trying to lay out a plan that you genuinely believe will make things run more effectively.  But while you’ve been researching, a few more people have hopped out and flagged down a passing car.  A few people have wandered over to see what’s happening and while love the concept for your redesigned car, their voices drowned out by the crowd of passengers upset over you trying to remove their break pedals, demanding that you just get back in and keep going the way things always have been.

They throw a little paint on the exterior, and hop back in, expecting you to go along.

The driver, who had worked on the concept for redesigning the car for over a decade, insists that the vehicle still needs to change.  He says that he isn’t sure he should be behind the wheel if the changes aren’t made, and a group of the most influential passengers agree, some reluctantly, some exuberantly and suddenly your driver is gone.

When you start to climb back in the seat offered to you is not in front, helping to navigate, but somewhere in the middle.  Not being accustomed to a back seat you start planning a graceful exit, hoping to find ways to explain why you just can’t travel like this.  Some of your friends see it coming.  You try to lean forward and quietly talk to those influential passengers now sitting upfront, to make one more plea for change but you realize that in order to get their attention you will have to become one more person stepping on the brake.

More than a bit frustrated you think to yourself, “if this is how the car is designed, maybe I should just roll with it,” and mustering your courage you stomp on your brake pedal demand to be heard...

And that’s when it happens, someone in the front seat whispers an accusation, unfounded, but the threat is clear “Leave, and this accusation will stay between us, or stay and have your name dragged through the mud.”

In fear and anger you unbuckle and reach for the door handle.

You find yourself on the side of the road, sobbing.

At first all you can do is stand in the pouring rain, crying, angry, feeling like you’ve failed the Guide…  You hide in the bushes because you can’t find the words to talk to anyone.

Eventually you run out of tears.  You are hungry and lonely and you stick your thumb out at the first car that passes by.

That car has the same brake system as the car you left and you can't bring yourself to try that again, so you continue trying to hitch a ride.

After a while a limo stops.  It is luxurious, and the food smells great but the driver is separated from the passengers by a sound proof window, and you realize the intercom isn't working.  He stops to check on the passengers as often as he can spare the time, but there are so many passengers, that you never seem to be able to get his attention… All you wanted to do was offer to help him…

A tour bus pulls over and it's loaded with passengers.  You hear some awesome music coming from inside and everyone seems happy to be there.  About the time you are ready to hop on board you see a few people in the uniform of the bus company hop off, and change out of the uniform.  You see how tired they look, and you remember that feeling. Undeterred you ride along for a stretch, and after a good nap and a meal your vision clears and you see the depth of the needs all around you.  You try to help, but the system for reaching out to those closest to your heart is in chaos, and you quickly determine that it isn’t your place to try to change to a system that isn’t asking for change.

Not being the type to just ride along, you take your leave and start walking again.

Instead of having your thumb out, your hands are in your pockets.  And you soon find yourself of the road, on a series of trails.

At first you worry that by wandering away from the main road you're wandering way from the guide, but you soon realize that the trails you are walking run parallel the road you used to drive.

A few friends seek you out and walk with you for a few miles at a time. One is a friend who used to sit upfront in the car with all the brakes, another is from the first car you ever traveled in, there is also a family member, and a new friend whom you met when he stopped to ask for directions.  A guy who still loves the car with all the brakes rounds out the crew.

They are all traveling the same direction in various vehicles.  None of them have given up on cars like you have, but they are all willing hop out at regular intervals and take turns carrying your baggage, listening, laughing and occasionally crying with you.  

After months of getting nowhere, you begin picking up speed.

As you start moving your head continues to clear.  You become aware of the needs around you and stop to help.  You flip through the map and guide book with renewed interest, and your perspective is different.  Instead of everything being filtered through your need to get a vehicle moving in the right direction, you learn how to move.  Instead of wondering how to motivate a car full of people to help others, you just stop and help each time the Guide points out a need.  

You notice that the amount of time people spend walking with you is gradually increasing, some even stop to help with the needs you are seeing.

Your trail intersects with the road, and you spot the car with all the brakes, stopped again.  You smile at the people inside.  Your heart aches with how much you miss them, but you take a deep breath and keep moving.  You walk by the tour bus, stopped to refuel, and see how excited everyone seems. You pray that they will stay as happy as they appear to be, but you adjust the straps on your back pack and keep walking.  A friend pops out of the limo and offers you a ride, but you pass.  No sooner has he pulled away then you spot a friend who seems to having trouble with his load, and you shoulder his burden for a mile or two.

A thought creeps into your mind, "My new way is so much better than what everyone else is doing…"

No sooner have you thought it than you repent.

You realize that your friends traveling in the different vehicles are moving in the right direction too.  Most of them think your way is strange. After all, “Why walk when you can drive?” is a hard question to answer.  But you notice that you are all moving at about the same pace. You've all got a similar number of close friends traveling with you, you are all meeting needs that are the important, and you are all getting closer to the finish line, and day by day to the one Guiding you.

You ponder what the guide book says the broad road, and the narrow road. You wonder about those asleep in the comfort of the bus, or those pigging out in the limo, or those who spend their time with their foot on the brake arguing about where to go instead of actually going.  But a phrase from the guide book comes to mind, Who are you to pass judgment on another person's choice of transportation, The Guide decides whether or not their progress is acceptable, and they will make progress for the Guide is able to keep them moving...

As long as they travel with the Guide, they will be fine.

There are plenty of people without the Guide, who either have no map, or are using a counterfeit, and they help.  It was your desire to help them that inspired you to want a front seat in the first place.

The next time you are tempted to think your way is better (and it happens more often than you'd like to admit), you realize that there are people lost on the trails that no vehicle can reach who need the help of someone on foot, but it is equally true and there are many who would never make the journey if they had to walk it.

You start to wonder if the church isn’t the vehicle you’re in, but a road we are traveling.  A road that starts with one Gate (Jesus), overseen by the Guide(the Holy Spirit) and ends at a destination only the He knows, one we will only reach when He decides the time is right.

Maybe the church isn’t even a single road, but a direction.  There is not question in your mind that there is only one true north but the path that each of us takes to get there may be as varied as we are.

Maybe down the road, you’ll catch a ride again.  Maybe your rag-tag band of hikers will go in on a vehicle together.  After all, hiking comes with its own set of challenges.

For now you tighten your boot laces, and remember that you’ve always loved hiking, and more than anything you trust the Guide.

Order Our Days

It has been 10 months since the Sabbatical part of our journey began.  In that time Shandy and I have felt a distinct lack of momentum.  We are both task oriented people who love checking things off lists and feeling accomplished, but we have been in a season where that just hasn't seemed to be part of God's plan.  It has been a season of false starts, new jobs that didn't stick, new ministry opportunities that weren't quite the right fit, and possible church homes that we just couldn't commit to.  Through it we've had this sense of "We feel God wants us to be doing something, but we haven't been able to finger on what it is."

Shandy hasn't been working as much the last few months, and my side jobs have slowed down quite a bit. Silas graduated Kindergarten, and we've had a bit of time to breathe deeply.  Just a bit, because God had plans for that slower season of life as well.  Shandy's Grandmother passed away, and she was able to spend time with her family during Gram's last few days on earth.  She's also been able to make several trips down to help her grandfather during his grief and period of adjustment.  Also recently our 3 year old niece had a severe diabetic episode, and Shandy was able to hop in the car and drive to be with family in the hospital.  Thankfully the precious little one pulled through the worst of it, she is back home now and the family is learning how to manage this disease they didn't know she had.

We've learned, in these last few months, that God really does order our days.  He plans our times and our seasons.  It is teaching us a kind of trust and contentment that has been missing.

There are also a bunch of new things on the horizon for us.

Shandy is about to start a new job as the General Manager of a Pizza Hut.  Being a Restaurant General Manager (or RGM as she puts it) has been on her bucket list since high school, and it is a blessing to see her getting to fulfill a long term ambition.  The new job will give us new challenges and new opportunities, and we feel like it is exactly where God wants us, as we prepare for the future He is calling us to.

Speaking of that future, we have started getting together on a weekly basis with a group of friends who share our long term goals of opening a camp or other kind of ministry where people can step out of the hectic and into a haven.  We are beginning our journey together by building a good foundation. Getting to know each other and each other's families, committing to encouraging each other to read through the Bible in a year, gathering to sit around the table and talk about what we read, and being inspired by reading Radical (by David Platt). After just the a few weeks we are all feeling the urge to take big steps toward realigning ourselves with God's plans for our lives.

Even as we start to dream and build relationships that may one day result in an organized life ministry, 'haven' is happening organically.  Our housemates have provided us with opportunities to use the big house (we are long term house sitting) to widen the circle of people we can bless.  Yesterday was a whirlwind of extra faces as we took in a family in crisis, hung out with a mom and her kids who needed a break, and took a passel of extra kiddos to the lake for some R&R.  I LOVE sharing life with like minded people, and watching the little community we have made bless others.  It is happening organically, the way things should when you join your life with people who truly share your values.  I am so grateful for the blessing that living with the Bookers has been.  And I am blessed and humbled by Mark and Luanna who entrusted us with their house, and gave us their blessing to live out our vision, in continuation of their own love for hospitality.

I could go on, and talk about a new friend and the extremely refreshing conversations we've had about life and ministry, but the bottom line is that there is energy and optimism in the air that has been missing.  It is as if the wind is returning to a ship that has been adrift at sea.  I don't doubt that there will be rocks and storms ahead, but for now it is good to feel just a bit of momentum.

Another Update from the Season Sabbatical...

I haven't updated this blog in a while, mostly because I am taking some good advice.  Someone I respect once wrote, "Don't post publicly what you have not yet worked out privately."  The truth is I've drafted a half a dozen blogs since my last post.  Writing give my thoughts some tangibility and helps me process.  But everything I've written has been missing a conclusion.  Right now Shandy and I both feel like we are coming to the edge of something, but we just aren't quite sure what.  We feel like it is almost time to come out of the cocoon we've wrapped ourselves in for the last six months, but we both feel like there is one more change that needs to happen, we just aren't exactly sure what it is...

So we wait, resting in the quiet of this season, and prepare to move when God moves.

With that said, here are some updates since my last post:

For most of our marriage Shandy and I have tried to keep a weekly date night.  Due to work schedules, and having a kid in school the weekly thing hasn't happened lately, but we did get away for her birthday last month, and we've had a few dates recently that we've been able to make the most of.  We are finding that, because we aren't dating as often, we are having much deeper conversation when we do.   Lately we've been dreaming about the future, and trying to look at the things God has done in and through us in the past to help us plan the next steps.

Most of those dates have come spur of the moment, courtesy of our housemates.  We have quickly become addicted to living in community, especially to living in community with the Booker clan.  We may be sharing our place to live with them, but we often feel indebted to them for the kindness they show. Shandy and I also wonder if Amy has superpowers, because she can single-handedly watch all 6 kids (her 4 and our 2) and still have the house sparkling when we get back, often while managing to squeeze in a blog post of her own or baking something yummy...

Amy ends up watching all of the kids because her husband Kevin and I have been joining a group of guys for a weekly night of basketball, while Shandy works.  For about 2 hours we play a half dozen pick up games with a wide variety of characters who posses a wide variety of skill levels.  The first few weeks I was pretty much a warm body, but I am slowly remembering how to play and it has become a highlight of my week. The games take place at a gym about 20 minutes out of town so we carpool out with 3 other guys. The five of us all attend the church, and I have really enjoyed getting back into a routine of spending time with a group of like minded men.

Speaking of like minded men, another highlight of my week is Thursday night when my friend Lincoln comes over.  We talk about the Word, life, parenting, husbanding, and pray for each other, and occasionally play a board game.  It has been good to have a brother to hold me accountable during a season of life where I am not fully settled into a church community.

Our boys are going through growth spurts.  The height gap between the Hodsdon boys and Booker boys has close significantly in the last 3 months, and while their physical growth has been impressive they've also been growing in other ways.  Silas is learning to read, to the point where he reads and writes just because it is fun to use his new skill.  Isaac is leaving behind the last bits of toddler-hood and becoming a full fledged kid.  His capacity for learning is blossoming as only the mind of a 4 year old can.  (I think in heaven we will all be 4 years old... I don't have any theology to back that up, I just think it is the age of human perfection).  Both boys have also been growing in their spiritual thinking as well. They are asking good questions, and making connections between life situations and things we read in the Bible.  It is a beautiful thing...

4 Months

It's been 4 months, since I started this Sabbatical, and I think I've started to turn a corner.  Looking back, The first few months were about getting my head clear, getting to a place where I could read the Bible and pray without overwhelming emotions.

New Year's Eve is what really did it for me.  14 years in a row I organized an all night New Year's party for teenagers.  This year, while my wife worked, I sat at home and cried.  It certainly wasn't the first time I have cried since leaving my church, but this time it was different, not motivated by hurt, frustration or the deep sense of loss over the relationships that are no more...  No, this time it was because I wasn't serving.

This time I cried, because I remembered how New Year's Eve was the time when something would change with the students we were serving.  Each year at this time there would be a subtle shift, something about the shared experience of being up all night, long talks and goofy experiences that paved the way for deeper relationships and life change.  I cried because that wasn't happening this year.

It was good to finally get to peal back all of the temporary earthly circumstances, and just face what's eternally important, God's mission and His calling.

Another Sabbatical Update

The Sabbatical continues, but feel like I am starting to learn some of the lessons I need to learn. 

I am getting into a better rhythm of spending time in the Word, and have enjoyed unpacking Acts, Romans and Corinthians.  One of the high points of my week is Thursday night when a good friend comes over and we discuss what we’ve been learning from the word, and pray through those areas of our lives that God is trying to refine.  It has been so good to have someone holding me accountable, and praying for me on this journey through uncharted territory.

One of my biggest concerns heading into this Sabbatical was wondering where I would find people with whom I could process my thoughts.  I come to better conclusions when I can talk things out and get other perspectives.  (This desire to get other peoples’ perspectives is one of the reasons that I started blogging)  Thankfully, God had a plan for that, and had my Sabbatical start up the same time he had some of our best friends, and their 4 kids, move in with us.  The community that we are sharing has been such a blessing, in that it simultaneously has allowed me to withdraw from most things, without withdrawing completely.  I have a brother I can bounce ideas off, extra kids to love on, and people I can serve; even it is just by playing with an adorable baby for a few minutes while her momma does chores.  Having built in playmates for my kids has also given me time to exercise, stack my wood, and find quite minutes to read.

We’ve found a church where we can ‘hide’.  By that I mean we’ve found a place where we can worship, and listen to practical teaching without feeling the need to be social.  We know this is not ideal, but it is a step in the right direction for us.  Checking out churches after a messy separation feels like I imagine dating would feel after your spouse has died… Maybe it is a healthy part of moving on with life, but mostly it’s just awkward, especially at the beginning...  That said, it has been good to see my kids learning from people who are investing time during the week into finding ways to make God’s word come alive to little minds.  There is nothing quite like hearing your 3 year old tell you that he won’t be afraid because, as he says “I know God is always with me, so it would be silly to be afraid!”, especially when that was the bottom line from last Sunday’s lesson for preschoolers...

But Isaac isn’t the only one who has been learning.  I’ve been challenged by a few of the messages as well.  One talked about how much more effective the truth is when it comes from a joyful person.  This really hit home, because one criticism I received at the end of my time at Calvary Baptist was that I always seemed ready for a fight.  I realize now that this put people on the defensive and made them less likely to listen to what I had to say, no matter how right I may have been.  If the same truth had been delivered with a smile instead of a scowl, it might have been more effective.  I had lost heart and become wearing in doing good.  Because of that fatigue, I was short tempered and irritable.   

I learned Galatians 6:9 in the NIV which says “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”  I took the verse a reminder not to quit when I became weary” But really the verse says “DO NOT BECOME WEARY”.  The NASB says more clearly: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary”.  Hear we see that weariness itself can have a negative, even catastrophic impact on the outcome of our service to God.  There is a connection between the attitude (heart) that we bring to doing good and the effectiveness of it. 

It isn’t as though we shouldn’t be passionate.  Paul, who said “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” also said, “I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart.  For I wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my people, those of my own race, the people of Israel.” He was clearly passionate.  But something kept that passion from becoming crippling frustration and bitterness. 

I am not sure what that something was.  Perhaps it was in realizing that we are responsible for our own obedience, and not responsible for convincing others to obey?  Jesus shared the truth but finally said, “Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.  Look, your house is left to you desolate.”  He knew that the responsibility to respond was ultimately on the hearer.  He told his disciples “If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you.  If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.”  He didn’t say “find a different way to make them listen” he said something much more like “brush it off and go find someone who will listen”. 

Maybe the secret is in knowing when to withdraw and move on.  Jesus practiced this, He trained His disciples to do it, and Paul certainly did.  They all faced a certain amount of adversity, but also knew when to call it a day, and when to pack it up and move on.  Then again, Jesus faced the stress of his ministry by frequently withdrawing to lonely places to pray. Maybe it isn’t about quitting, maybe it is about finding ways to unplug and blow off steam before you boil over.  Maybe regular withdrawal needs to be part of my discipline?  Or maybe “Suffering brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint.”  Such hope, that the One who called you to do something is able to do it, even when you are not, may prevent you from losing heart when circumstances cause great sorrow and unceasing anguish…  

Sabbatical Thoughts

About a month ago I started a Sabbatical from most everything except my family and my day job.  I started by going out into the woods to get a lone with God, and God was kind enough to meet me out there.

It started with a phone call to my favorite remote camping spot.  When I told the lady on the other end of the line what campsite I was hoping to get she laughed, because it is always booked, but to her surprise, it was open.  On the drive I caught the tail end of a sermon about Uzziah, a king of Judah, and the story intrigued me. (click on his name to read about him) Since I didn't get to hear the entire sermon, I started my time in the Word with his tale.  

In short Uzziah was a king who started well, doing what was right in God's eyes and accomplishing many good things, but he overstepped, and tried to do things that we not for him to do, but only for the priests.  Because of this God gave him leprosy, and he had spend the rest of his life cut off from the people and from the house of the Lord.

In my New America Standard Bible, the section heading for this particular tale reads "Pride is Uzziah's Undoing".  Uzziah had done many good things, and as he became strong he also became proud. This passage acts as a very clear mirror into my own heart... The Word doesn't tell us why Uzziah went into the Temple to burn incense, instead of letting the priests do it, so I speculate that maybe he knew what should be done (burning the incense), but never didn't consider that God had a specific plan for how it should be done. 

My mind tends to glaze over when I read the myriad rules for temple worship that we find in the Bible.  And even though we don't follow that particular prescription for worship today, one fact becomes abundantly clear as we read those rules is that God cares deeply about how we do things and why we do them.  He doesn't just plan the ends, He plans the means.  

Reinforcing this thought was a passage in Acts 13.  Here we read that some men were fasting and praying when they received instructions from God.  But it is what they did next that grabbed my attention.  Rather than jumping right up and acting on those instructions, they continued to fast and pray. When their time of prayer and fasting were ended, they carried out the instructions.  I tend to listen only long enough to get the big picture, then I rush off to do things my own way, in my own strength.  These guys in Acts, heard God while they were fasting and praying, and they kept listening before acting.  

And so my Sabbatical continues, as I strive to learn to listen.

Sabbatical

I am taking a Sabbatical.  Sabbatical (from Latin sabbaticus, from Greek sabbatikos, from Hebrew shabbat, i.e., Sabbath, literally a "ceasing") is a rest from work, or a break, often lasting from two months to a year. The concept of sabbatical has a source in shmita, described several places in the Bible (Leviticus 25, for example, where there is a commandment to desist from working the fields in the seventh year)

I need an extended period of rest and time with God, So I have decided to take a Sabbatical.  A "ceasing" from just about everything.  I'm thinking of it as a type of fast, where I replace the hectic pace of life with lots of time for the Word, and reflection on what my priorities should be.  

I'm can't quit my day job, because my responsibility to my family necessitates working, but I won't be leading a small group, or a youth group for the foreseeable future.  I don't know when it will end, or what life will look like when it is over. But as of today I have resigned from my church and the responsibilities there. 

I've asked 2 brothers in Christ meet with me regularly during this undefined period of time, because I believe that we all need accountability and that Christians need other Christians in order to function.  My wife has done the same with a couple of women.

I'm not going to be blogging during the sabbatical.  I plan to keep Facebook use to a minimum.  My goal is to learn how to listen.  I am not trying to hide from people, so please don't hesitate to reach out via Facebook, Email or phone.  If I am going to to re-learn how to listen, I need to be still and know that He is God.

NOTE:  If you have any questions about what is happening with the youth group at CBC or the Sunday morning small group you should contact one of the deacons at CBC. 

More Eloquent

If you were intrigued by the Big Red Tractor story, then carve out 45 minutes to check out this video of a message Francis Chan gave at the Verge Conference.

I love the point he makes, that if we just opened the Bible without centuries of tradition, we would not do church the way we do it.

I admire the humility with which he says that he and his church haven't figured out how to fix that, but they are working on it.

I am challenged by the idea, that if what we read in Acts was "they met together once a week, sang songs and someone taught, and the next week they did it again" instead of all of the radical commitment, and sacrifice we read about, then no one would have believed their message.

I am intrigued by the surfing analogy he uses, because I have spent so much time kicking trying to create a wave, rather than keeping instep with the Spirit.

I am sick in my stomach when he makes the comparison between how his daughter would treat his command to clean her room, and how we treat Jesus' commands, because I've spent more time memorizing and studying than going and doing, by a ratio of about 10 to 1.

What did you take away?

The Big Red Tractor

One of the blogs that helps me Re-Think is the Verge Network, and they recently posted some challenging content from Francis Chan.  I wanted to pass it along to you.

First is a short video called "The Parable of the Big Red Tractor" Take 5 minutes to watch the video and hear a short explanation from the author.

I have been one of those villagers pushing for all he is worth on the tractor...

Re-Thinking 'Church'

What is the church?

We first see the word church in our Bibles after Peter said “you are the Christ the Son of the living God” and Jesus replies “on this rock I will build my church”.  

I wonder what the disciples thought when they heard that?  Was “church” a new word to them?  Did they have a concept of big buildings where people would gather for a few hours a week to sing and hear a sermon?

The word Jesus used that we translate “church” meant “a gathering of people”, and would have been familiar to the disciples.  Geek Note: the modern word “church”, comes from a German word that means “a place of gathering”.  I think the word reveals something about the shift in theology that took place sometime between the first century gathering of people who believed that Jesus was Lord, and the hay day of the Roman Catholic Church where religion and political power were synonymous.  (Andy Stanley talks about this idea in his book "Deep and Wide" and I would highly recommend the book)

Somewhere along the line our collective church culture's thinking changed from, “My church is the group of people who help me live out the mission of Christ”, to “My church is the place I go to meet with people who agree with me about God”. 

I know ‘traditional church’ works.  I wouldn’t be who I am today without it.  That said, since I was 15 years old, I have been involved in full or part time church ministry, both vocationally and as a volunteer.  During almost 2 decades of trying to operate within the institution of the church, I have often felt like I imagine David felt when he tried on Saul’s armor before his big battle with Goliath.  David was offered armor fit for a king, yet he decided “I’m better off without this.”  It wasn’t an insult to the armor, it was excellent armor. (and it is not at all my intention to insult traditional church or anyone who finds it to be the most effective way to make disciples) But God had a specific way he wanted the battle to go, a way that would bring the most Glory to God, so David eschewed the conventional wisdom of battle and stepped out with the tools of shepherd to do something that seemed impossible to those with the most formal training, the most experience, and best equipment.

While I have chafed in the armor of traditional church, I have continued to wear the armor because I didn’t know any other way to carry out the command to make disciples or the command to 'forsake not the assembling of yourselves together'.  I didn’t want to simply run away from a certain way of doing things, I wanted to run toward something.  After years of searching, I think I finally know what to run toward.

So if you are fighting to make disciples, but just feel like the traditional armor doesn't quite fit the way God is calling you to live, if you have ever wondered if their could be another way to make disciples, and to grow as a disciple,  if you have ever wondered how to make living out your faith look just a little more like what we see in Acts, then take a minute to imagine with me...

It begins when you and one or two others commit to reading the same scripture each week.  Once a week you meet to discuss it, to confess sin to each other, to pray for each other and to pray for the people in your lives that do not yet know Jesus.  Jesus said that “Where two or three are gathered together in my name, I am there with them”. Throughout the week other Christians are meeting in the same way.  

The early church made meeting regularly in their homes a high priority, so every week or two, those little groups get together for a meal with other little groups and for some quality time in the Word.  But here’s the catch, you choose your community group not on a basis of geography or your schedule, your age, marital status or demographic, but on common mission.  For example, if you feel that God’s desire is for you to help your co-workers come to know Jesus, you meet with others who also see work as their mission field.  Together you discuss how to best reach your coworkers.  Together you re-arrange your lives so that you can minister to your co-workers.  You become a community of missionaries to that pocket of people in your community.  Maybe you have a favorite hobby, and you meet with those who share that hobby and discuss how to use your common interest to reach people who have the same interest, but don’t know Jesus.  Maybe you have a love for kids, or the elderly, or the hungry or the homeless.  So you live your life with people who want to make disciples of the same people that you feel called to be a missionary to.

Just because you don’t share a common pocket of people in your community that you want to reach doesn’t mean you can’t fellowship.  So these missional communities gather with other missional communities for fellowship, communion, mutual encouragement, baptisms, testimonies about what God is doing, and to worship the God that inspires us to reorient our lives, our schedules and our finances around the sick, instead of the healthy, the sinners instead of the righteous.  Now you are united to the body of Christ by common mission. Instead of a church having a mission statement, the mission of God has a church.

This is a thumbnail view, and I could spend hours sharing the scriptures, authors, blogs, and sermons that have inspired me, and maybe I will in future posts or in conversations around my kitchen table (if you are interested).  For now it is sufficient to say that this is what I am running toward.  And the coolest part is that it doesn’t require running away from anything.  Making this vision work doesn’t require gathering at a certain time, nor does it matter if members of this missional community are in different places for a few hours on a Sunday morning.  Each one is still free, even encouraged to go wherever they find practical teaching or great worship music, because he church isn’t a place you go to hear sermons and sing songs, the church is the people that help you carry out the command to make disciples. 

My hope is to start with one or two people that I can meet with regularly, while helping others connect to people who are looking for this kind of accountability.  As a network of these “two or three” gatherings start to meet my hope is that we will get together to share a meal, share some time in the word, and discuss who we can reach and how.  My hope is that our missional ideas will inspire others to either join us in making disciples and that as we focus on the mission Jesus gave us, those who have never known Jesus will join the family of believers.  I am not looking for anyone to leave a church or join a church.  Instead I am hoping to come along side believers from many churches to help people live out the call to make disciples to be missionaries where they live, work and play.  I am hoping that together we can “live such good lives among the pagans that they may see our good deeds and glorify our father who is in heaven” 

If you have any questions, or if you are interested in being a part of something like this please contact me. 

To My Church Family

To my Church Family,

Most of us have only ever entered into two covenant relationships, marriage and church membership.  The emotions we will experience as we process our pastor’s resignation is akin to the trauma of divorce, and we will be hurting deeply for some time to come because of it.  But the same bond that makes this separation hurt so much, is also, by the grace of God, what can help us to overcome.  These pivotal circumstances have the potential to strengthen our faith, or to crush it, and I pray that we will come through this with a greater determination to live the lives Christ died for us to live.

As we travel this road, we will experience a wide range of emotion.  Some will feel relieved, some confused, others hurt, some will no doubt be angry, some of us will want to try to fix it, some of us will just withdraw, preferring not to deal with it, and some of us will try to pretend like it doesn't much matter...  As the stages of grief unfold, we may find ourselves frustrated with others whose responses to this difficulty are dramatically different than our own.  We must be careful to let every conversation we have be “full of grace, and seasoned with salt”.  In other words, we must make every effort to love each other through this, and to make sure that we focus on building each other up, not tearing each other down.

As we navigate these waters, let us remember the fundamental things that make faith grow:

• Practical Teaching:  We are losing a great teacher, and we will all need to find ways to fill the void.  Practical teaching don’t have to come from a stage on a Sunday Morning, grab a good book by Francis Chan, Andy Stanley, David Platt or some other Christian author who gives you practical advice on how to live the truth of the scripture and read, read, read.
• Private Disciplines: Faith grows when we commit ourselves to reading the word, to prayer, and to giving sacrificially.  This may be a good time to try fasting, even just skipping a meal to pray a few times a week, could have an amazing impact on your life and the life of our church.
• Personal Ministry:  The loss of a pastor means that there are big shoes to fill!  Many of us turn to him for advice, for counseling, and rely on his comfort when we are sick.  As a body we will have to fill the void by each of us digging deep and doing what we can to love and support each other. Remember that the normal means of communication may be down for a while, so when you have a need, find someone you trust and ask for help.
• Providential Relationships: The scripture is clear that the body grows as each part does its work, and it tells us that we need each other.  Now more than ever, invite people into your home, change your schedule to make time for fellowship, and let us encourage one another daily.  Use social media to check up on people, to ask how they are doing, and share the things from good books or scripture that are encouraging you.
• Pivotal Circumstances are the 5th thing on Andy Stanley’s list of what makes faith grow.  And this one is a double edged sword.  Pivotal circumstances and cripple our faith or make it stronger.  The key is how we deal with them. Deal with them by focusing on the things that make faith grow rather than on the the things that hurt or the things that divide.

Find just one or two people to meet with each week.  Commit to reading the same scripture, to praying for each other, to confessing sin to each other and to praying for people you love, who have not yet confessed Jesus as Lord. Keep the group extremely small, so that you don’t have to juggle schedules or worry about what someone will think.

The church is not a place we gather on Sundays. Biblically, we don’t find the concept that Christians “go to church”, instead we find as we read the Word that, “we are the church”.  We are not a body because we sing the same songs and hear the same sermons. We are a body only when we share the same mission, and the same strategy for carrying out that mission.  We don’t meet together to get a good encouraging feeling that will help us through the week, we meet together to spur each other on toward love and good deeds.  The good feelings will be different for a while, maybe even absent, but we can still spur each other on to run the race as if to win the prize.  

As a Side Note...

I recently posted about how vision is a great source of hope.

Without vision hope is little more than a wish.

But there is more to the story.

Yesterday my wife and I had the privilege of spending a few hours with one of my mentors and his wife, and we both left feeling just a little more hopeful.  Usually this mentor has words of wisdom, and is able to offer perspective.  I went wondering what vision he would have to offer, what new information he would provide that would give me clarity on some of life's more difficult challenges.  But that was not what happened.

I went in prepared to listen.  But instead they listened as my wife and I poured out some of the challenges we've been trying to tackle as a team.  Instead of advice, our words with met with sympathy and understanding.  Instead of finding new perspective, we discovered that they are navigating very similar waters.  Instead of feeling isolated in our struggles, we now know that we are not alone.

It reminds me of the first time I climbed Mt. Katahdin, Maine's highest peak.  I was in 8th grade, and hadn't done much hiking.  I was one of the very last people in our large group of teenagers to reach the top, and by the time I got there, everyone else was rested and ready to head back down.  I ended up making my way down with another straggler, an annoying 7th grade boy named Jeff.  As we made our way down, we came to a place where several trails met, and we were unsure which one would take us back to where our youth leaders and the church van were waiting.  We spotted what looked like a group of teens some distance ahead and decided to catch up to them.  As we got closer we realized that they weren't from our group.  We had made our decision to take this trail on bad information, and we didn't know if it would lead us to our destination or not. It is worth noting that every school student is Maine is required to read a book called "Lost on a Mountain in Maine", about a boy who gets lost while hiking Mt. Katahdin...  So our imaginations had plenty of fodder for dreaming up worst case scenarios.  I think I would have panicked if Jeff hadn't been there.  Not that this kid who had a habit of spraying shaving cream on me while I slept, was a mountain of emotional stability, but I didn't want to look panicked and scared in front of him, so I acted tough.  Together we faced the unknown and the very real possibility that, with the sun quickly setting, we would get to the end of the trail, discover we were on the wrong side of the mountain, and need to head back up the mountain in a different direction.  Just having someone to face the difficult journey with made it easier.

We were overjoyed to see the church van in the parking lot.  And I never found Jeff quite so annoying after that. He never sprayed me with shaving cream again, (though there was one incident involving crickets in my sleeping bag...) 10 years later he stood beside as a groomsman in my wedding, and a year later I returned the favor.

It wasn't vision that got us down the mountain, or through the difficult situation, it was camaraderie.  Camaraderie made the panic worthy situation seem a little less overwhelming.  Even if the night got dark and we couldn't see the trail or the things moving in the woods, we wouldn't be alone, and that was a source of comfort, a source of hope.  That same kind of hope is what Shandy and I found in a mentor's living room yesterday.

Hope vs. Vision

In my quest to move and re-think, I like to read.  I read blogs, I read books, I subscribe to e-mail lists, and follow those who think differently on Facebook or YouTube.  One recent addition to my list is the Verge Network.  The basic premise of the folks at Verge is that God's idea for the church was not that it be a place that we go, but that church is a community of people with the same mission.  While most churches would agree with those words, the ways we live and the ways we operate tell the truth about what we really believe the church is all about.

Anyway, signing up for their e-mail news letter has given me access to a huge list of free e-books, one of which is called ,Righteous Brood', by Hugh Halter.  The e-mail discussing this free resource was particularly intriguing to me, and the book is only about 62 adobe reader pages long, so I set aside my Andy Stanley reading, and dove in.

At just about the half way point, Mr. Halter (who I occasionally disagree with) said something that really caught my attention.  He was talking about the difference between Hope and Vision.  Hopes, he argues, are "just emotional wishes that we hold out for.  Vision on the other hand is designed to actually change the future... Vision is the ability to see what God wants and move people toward His desired goal in any situation"

I've been having a hard time with certain things in life, and I've been asked about certain situations, whether or not I have hope.  Honestly I tend toward pessimism. Hope is something I have to work at.  When 1st Corinthians 13 tells me that "love always hopes" I cringe a little and know I have lots of room to grow.  But this quote resonates with me, because what I lack in hope, I make up for in Vision.  I may be a pessimist when it comes to where things are, or where they will be if nothing changes, but I am always ready with ideas for how to make them different.

Personally I think it is hard to share hope, without sharing vision.  When you tell a sick person 'I hope you feel better,' it is no where near as comforting as when their doctor says, 'here is the plan for how we are going to take you from sick to healthy.' One offers an "emotional wish" the other is "designed to actually change the future".  Which one actually offers hope?

I think James talked about this in his epistle, when he said "if a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking daily food, and one of you says to them, 'Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,' without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?"  Like empty words to an empty stomach is hope without vision.

So when we think of our kids, do we think, I hope they avoid tragedy, find a godly spouse, get a good job, settle into a safe neighborhood, find a good church etc.?  Do we step it up a notch and 'hope' they will take risks for God and make a difference in the world?  Or do we stop and think about how to make those things happen? Do we dare to ask God what his vision for our family is? Do we make the tough and uncomfortable choices that will result in those things becoming reality?

When we think of our churches, do we hope for unity, do we hope that people will act like a body, do we hope for more people to come to know Jesus, for lives to be changed, and the next generation to walk through the door? Or are we willing to come up with a vision that says, this is who we want to reach, this is how we plan to reach them, this is how we will disciple them, here are the steps that build faith, and here are some next steps each of us should be taking.

When we think of or marriages do we hope he will pick up his socks and she will make sure clean ones are mated? Do we hope for intimacy, for romance, for like-mindedness, and trust.  Or do we come up with a plan do build those things brick by brick, in sickness and in health, in riches and in poverty, for better or worse.

When I have vision I have hope.

Where there is no vision, people perish.

A New Blog I am Following

In my never ending quest to move and rethink, I like to read about leaders who are pushing past the status quo, and seeing what God is doing in ministries where tradition is seen as an enemy of transformation.

One of those ministries is Connexus Church just outside of Tornoto Canada.  I recently started following Jeff Brodie's blog, in which he shares from his experiences helping to design a church that is reaching people in a country where church attendance is around 10%.  His recent series of posts has been on the importance of not just how we do church, but how we decide how we do church.  Having grown up and served in congregational models all of my life I find his ideas to be so far outside my box that part of me thinks they must be fiction.

Take  look at this post, and tell me what you think

Thoughts on Spiritual Growth

I was recently asked, what steps I think lead to spiritual maturity.  I sent that response as an e-mail to the friend who asked, and figured it might make a good blog post.  After all I use this blog for things that I want to get feedback on and for things that I want to continually "rethink".  So please help me "re-think" any of this that needs to be refined.

As I see it, all spiritual growth results from one of the following: (please note that this list is not original it comes from Andy Stanley's book "Deep and Wide")  Practical Teaching, Private Disciplines, Personal Ministry, Providential Relationships, Pivotal Circumstances.

Practical Teaching:  Not just teaching, but teaching with "next steps".  A sermon that leaves you, not just more enlightened, but one that gives you practical ideas for how to be different because of what you've just heard. This kind of teaching can come from a stage, be heard over the radio (or Internet), or be found in the pages of a book.  It can be heard live with hundreds of people, or projected onto a video screen in a small group, or consumed privately.

 Private Disciplines: Reading the scripture, prayer, fasting, and giving.  All of these have the potential to grow our faith.

Personal Ministry:  Our bodies cannot be healthy simply by eating the right food, we have to pair diet with exercise for optimal health.  So it is with our spirit.  We have to be engaged in the unique ministry, the "good works" that Ephesians 2 says God prepared beforehand that we would walk in them.

Providential Relationships: This is where the body comes in.  We all need people in our lives that we can learn from, who can mentor us, who we can mentor.  There will be people in our lives that inspire us, and people who are negative examples.  We need people to spur us on toward love and good deeds, and to sharpen us, as iron sharpens iron.

Pivotal Circumstances: This is not one that the church can create, as much as it can shape our response.  I love the way Roger (our pastor) takes current events and give us a Christian/Biblical filter for them.  We will all have pivotal circumstances in our lives, death, divorce, injury, illness, financial troubles, and the like.  How we respond to these circumstances can impact our faith. Do we see tragic circumstances and decide that a loving God could not let such a thing happen, or do we see the evidence of God working all things for good?

These ideas are extremely well articulated in Andy Stanley's book "Deep and Wide", and while I've taken the "P's" (words in bold) from his book, these are ideas that I have been working to refine and articulate for years, which is why they resonate with me so deeply. 

I know you wanted my personal opinion, so the following ideas are strictly mine.  I think that as we look through scripture we can see the following pattern emerge for how God works in a life: He Planned for us, He created us, He pursued us, He makes us new, He equips us, He inspires us, He Works through us.  This pattern is similar to what we see in Romans 8:29-30.  As we try to do for others as Jesus did for us, I think we, as individuals or as a church, can follow the same pattern.

Plan: God foreknew us, before he did anything else.  We should take time to get to know who we want a ministry, or our entire church, to reach.  If a church wants to start a ministry that is going to help feed hungry people, shouldn't we get to know some hungry people and find out what they need?  Shouldn't we read everything we can about hunger and poverty, and shouldn't we study what is working to combat those needs?  Just an example... 

Create: God had his plan for salvation in place before he created us.  After his plan was in place, he set about putting into action.  This is of course a vital second step.  It is not enough to simply read, and study how to minister to a particular group, we must actually take action, and be doer's of what we have learned.

Pursue: Even God wasn't content to sit in heaven and let His creation speak for itself, He walked with Adam and Eve in the Garden, He took on flesh and became human, he whispered to Elijah, he made a covenant with Abraham, he met Paul on the road to Damascus.  Likewise, if we want to minister to people, we need to walk in their shoes, and become available to life life beside them, rather than simply program for them/to them/at them.  When children's ministry worked well in our church, it was because the volunteers were passionate about the kids and were not content to simply meet with them once a week, they followed up with home visits, and invited them into their own homes, took them out for ice cream, remembered their birthdays, and made their lives, (not just small slivers of their schedules) available.

Made New:  Okay, only God can do this, but we need to remember that all of the relationships and programs in the world don't matter if the person never sees past us to Jesus.  Keeping this on the list of our necessary steps, keeps us focused on the goal of making as certain as possibe that the person were are ministering too experiences the life transformation that Paul spoke of in 2nd Corinthians 5:17.  This is the midpoint in the timeline, the cornerstone, of all of any ministry. we long for that moment when someone will be made knew in Christ.

Equip: This is where I observe most churches having the most difficulty.  What do we do after someone is made knew in Christ?  It is as if we had a clear plan for how to get them into the kingdom, but don't know what do with them once they are in.  Really that's kinda backwards.  Being in the kingdom we should know what kingdom life looks like, but we seem confused...  I think this is because we tend look at salvation as the end goal, when in reality it is only the beginning.  We have this "okay God I got them this far, now they have the Holy Spirit, so you can take it from here..." attitude.  I also think that strategically equipping a whole church full of people is difficult because this is where our ministries tend to begin to overlap.  Instead of just being involved in the one thing or with the one person that moved them toward Christ, the new believer is now expected to be a part of the general church body, and the transition from the kiddie pool to the deep end is often overlooked.  This is makes strategy and unity between departments so critical.  This is why I love Andy Stanley's 5 P's from earlier. They are the steps that transform us from newborn faith to mature faith, a faith that will survive the scorching sun and the choking weeds.  We are equipped through Practical Teaching, Private disciplines, Personal Ministry, Providential Relationships, and Pivotal Circumstances. 

Inspire: As we experience different avenues of personal ministry, we have opportunities to see what work in the kingdom makes us come alive, and to move closer and closer to discovering out what those unique good works are that God created just us to do.  I fully believe that God has a specific, unique purpose for each of us, and that we have the privilege of finding out what it is.  The more faithful we are with the "5P's" listed above, the more He entrusts to us. Like the word says, "you have been faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things".  The goal is to have each Christian reach a place where as Paul said, "I am compelled to preach, woe to me if I do not preach the gospel" they can say "I am compelled to ____________, woe to me if I do not __________."

Use: Thus transformed, equipped and inspired, we can produce a crop yielding 30, 60 or 100 times what was sown.  This is the part where we are "God's fellow workers" and "Christ's Ambassadors". This is my definition of maturity.  Someone who knows what they are called to do, is passionate about doing it, and is always striving to do it better for the Glory of God.

Remember this was an e-mail to a friend, so I understand if the context is hazy for someone just joining the conversation.  Don't hesitate to ask lots of questions.

Words from Grandpa's Bible

I spent last night in my grandfather's small apartment.  We knew his time with us was short and didn't want him to be alone.  My parents had been there around the clock for days and were exhausted.  It was my privilege to stay with him.

After they filled me in on what to do to keep him comfortable, they left, and I settled into an old chair, with his Bible.  It had been my grandmothers, before she went home 20 years ago, but since then, it had been his.


This note makes me think that the Bible had been every bit as much his as it had been Nana's even before she went home,  "Help me Lord, to become the man I should be for Christ's sake" - dated 10/11/1975

And this one confirms he was using it long after she went home, "How much longer do I have to serve God?" dated 9/25/2005

The pages worn with use, many falling out, some with verses underlined, some with notes scrawled in the margins.  I could think of no better way to pass the time than to simply sit and read the things that had been worth remembering to him.

Before I could get to those worn pages I found myself transfixed with the inside cover.  Here were listed the following references and phrases.  (I have typed out the verses for you in italics, the cover contained only the references)

Psalm 56:11 “In God I trust; I shall not be afraid.  What can man do to me.”

Proverbs 29 - (turning to that scripture I found the first verse underlined.) “He who is often reproved, yet stiffens his neck, will suddenly be broken beyond healing”

I am the best Christian someone will ever see.

Write your name on my lips, Lord...

Scripture for leading one to Christ... Romans 10:9,10&13 “If you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  For with the heart one believes and is justified and with the mouth one confesses and is saved… For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

The words “Salvation verses” and the following list:

John 1:12, “But to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, He gave the right to become children of God.”

Acts 16:31, “And they said, Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household”

Romans 5:1, “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ”

Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord”

Ephesians 2:8-9 “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God. Not a result of works, so that no one may boast”

Romans 5:8,9 “But God demonstrates his love for us in this, that while were still sinners Christ died for us.  Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God.”

Beside this final scripture was written - by Christ’s death, he paid the penalty for the sins of the world.

See Exodus 12 - Passover

Psalm 119:92 “If your law had not been my delight I would have perished in my afflictions”

Col 3:11 “Here there is no Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all and in all.”

Deuteronomy 13:6-7 “If your brother, the son of your mother, or your son or your daughter or the wife you embrace or your friend who is as your own soul entices you secretly, saying, ‘Let us go and serve other gods’… you shall not yield to him or listen to him…”  Beside this reference was written the words “Stand for our lord against family and friend”

Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those that love him, who are called according to his purpose.”

Hebrews 4:15 “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.”

Just before we got to Genesis, I found the following quote...

“You will never know how to live until you are ready to die.” 

This same quote was also found on the back cover...  It was the only repeat entry...

I took a break from reading around 10:30 and checked on Grandpa. His breathing was so shallow I had to put my hand on him to make sure he was still with me. I went back to reading and fell asleep with the Bible in my lap.  When I woke up around 1:30 in the morning, I checked on him again.  He had passed painlessly and silently from this life to the next...

In the Psalms one verse that was underlined was Psalm 116:15 "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints".  

Thoughts from the Orange Conference - Church Leaders

This is the 4th and final installment of my "thoughts from the Orange Conference".  Today I am focused on the lessons that I took away as someone who has been in church leadership, and someone who knows how vital having the support of church leadership is to the future of ministry.  Remember these are bullet points.  If you want details you'll have to post a comment.

• People won’t believe they are significant until they are given something significant to do.
• It is better to be excellent at two things than it is to have something for everyone.
• Each hour you spend developing a team of leaders (or parents) is an hour in which you have actually multiplied your influence.  Your one hour turns in to 5, as each individual takes what you taught and practices it.
• Refining or adding programs only makes us more yellow.  It actually moves the church away from being Orange.  Going Orange will require you to let Red (families) have influence in your ministry, and may require doing less, so that Red will have time and energy to do more.
• Have a volunteer tell a ‘messy’ ministry story on video and follow it up with “I am __________, and I volunteer with ___________, because______________”.
• When someone complains about a ministry, a leader’s first response should be “you obviously aren't volunteering there,” then be ready to share at least one “win” from each ministry.
• If you can’t identify a win for a ministry, it is time to cut it or at least prune it.
• Guard the gates.  Not everyone who wants to be a leader (teacher, committee member, small group leader, or any kind of volunteer) should be.  Filtering and evaluating leaders requires creating criteria for leadership.  Look at your best leaders/volunteers to identify those criteria.
• Guard the Gates.  Not every program or ministry idea will actually help you accomplish your mission.  Have criteria by which you evaluate each ministry (new or existing)
• Inspire trust by communicating, being available, and only doing what you can do with excellence.
• It is easier to run ministry around parents than it is to run ministry through relationships with them.  Partnering with parents will require deep commitment and constant attention, as it runs counter to our deeply established church culture
• Design a take away (application) for insiders and one for outsiders into everything you do.
• Determine to reach outsiders through insiders (ie through people, not through programs)
• Be purposeful about connecting outsiders to insiders
• Rely most on the feedback of outsiders, it is easy to fall into the trap of just listening to those who like what you are doing, but that will lead you into ruts or stagnation, you will need to constantly get input from new voices if you are going to keep your approach fresh.
• Don’t box the next generation of leaders into certain methods.

This concludes the thoughts from the Orange Conference.  I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

Thoughts from the Orange Conference - Students

Part 3 of my thoughts from the Orange Conference.  These are some bullet points of ideas that I'd like to plug into my ministry to teens.  Keep in mind that these are just bullet points, and don't hesitate to ask questions if anything is unclear.

• The 4G gospel – we were created “Good” and of great worth to God.  “Guilt” from our sin separates us from that goodness and from God.  “Grace” inspired God to send Jesus to make a way for our relationship with God to be reconciled, and it is “Gratitude” for what God has done that motivates us to turn from evil do good.
• Set specific goals for each year (ie for the freshmen, for the sophomores, etc…) and communicate those goals to each student, mentor and parent.
• Connect them to service, not to a person or a program.  People and programs can be taken away, but if they learn to love God through serving others, they can build new relationships and programs.
• Match-make inter-generational partnerships 1 at a time.
• Provide them with specific actions they can take to be missionaries at school
• Invite them to invite others
• Don’t just assimilate them into the youth ministry; assimilate them out of it as well.
• When it comes to your program Only do what you can do with excellence
• When it comes to relationships remember that God is more interested in your availability than in your ability.
• Teach them how to study the bible; don’t just tell them to do it.  For starters try this: “Pray, Read, Think, Write, Pray.”  Pray – that you will understand what you are about to read, Read – keep it small enough to digest, Think of something you can do with what you've read, Write it down (no longer than a tweet or Facebook status), Pray – that God will help you practice what you've read.
• Give them goals then can attain.  (one example- Going from 0 bible study to 7 days a week would be great, but they may feel like failures if they don’t meet that, shoot for 4 days for starters, and work up from there)
• Remember that the lesson isn't over until it has been applied
• Teach their parents about grace – teen years are when they should be transitioning from doing what is right out of guilt (or fear of punishment) to doing it out of gratitude for the Grace God showed them when he sent Jesus.  Grace will need to be modeled in the home.
• Change the gauge of success – from results to steps.  (one example: rather than how many friends have gotten saved, to how many times you shared your testimony.)
• Students won’t believe they are significant until they are given something significant to do.

Thoughts from the Orange Conference - Parents

Part two of my thoughts from the Orange Conference.  These bullet points represent the ideas and inspiration from the conference that relate to how I interact with the parents of the teens I work with, but also how I try to help the parents in our church take a more active role in partnering with the church to fulfill the great commission.

• Ask parents why they personally need the church.
• Ask parents “what would make the church such an indispensable part of your life that you would beg your friends to give it a try?”
• Take a video of each parent saying “I am ___________, I am a parent and I partner with the church because _____________.”
• Think: Going orange isn't about refining or adding programs.  Adding programs is how you go more yellow.  Going Orange requires the church to elevate the red.
• Think: What if going orange doesn't mean obligating families to another program or night out, but showing red that we believe that they are essential to the strategy of the church.
• Think: in terms of empowering red, rather than instructing it.
• Build relationships of trust with parents by communicating, by excellence, by connecting them to a small group leader, by creating opportunities for parents and kids to make memories together, by pointing them to resources, by planning some of your teaching based on their input, and by being available to give guidance.
• Ask parents what faith skills they need help teaching their kids, plan your ministries around these felt needs, and parents will be much more likely to partner with you.
• Partner with parents to create a list of annual spiritual mile stones (steps) for their kids from cradle to college, plan your ministry around these, and review them frequently.
• Provide a visual that will help us all remember that the days we have with kids are numbered.
• Match-make partnerships and inter-generational relationships for kids, and for parents.
• Remember that vision fades with age.  Ask the next generation what they need in order to be ministers to their peers.

Now hopefully something you just read inspired or intrigued you.  If so, please post a comment so we can talk.