To My Church Family

To my Church Family,

Most of us have only ever entered into two covenant relationships, marriage and church membership.  The emotions we will experience as we process our pastor’s resignation is akin to the trauma of divorce, and we will be hurting deeply for some time to come because of it.  But the same bond that makes this separation hurt so much, is also, by the grace of God, what can help us to overcome.  These pivotal circumstances have the potential to strengthen our faith, or to crush it, and I pray that we will come through this with a greater determination to live the lives Christ died for us to live.

As we travel this road, we will experience a wide range of emotion.  Some will feel relieved, some confused, others hurt, some will no doubt be angry, some of us will want to try to fix it, some of us will just withdraw, preferring not to deal with it, and some of us will try to pretend like it doesn't much matter...  As the stages of grief unfold, we may find ourselves frustrated with others whose responses to this difficulty are dramatically different than our own.  We must be careful to let every conversation we have be “full of grace, and seasoned with salt”.  In other words, we must make every effort to love each other through this, and to make sure that we focus on building each other up, not tearing each other down.

As we navigate these waters, let us remember the fundamental things that make faith grow:

• Practical Teaching:  We are losing a great teacher, and we will all need to find ways to fill the void.  Practical teaching don’t have to come from a stage on a Sunday Morning, grab a good book by Francis Chan, Andy Stanley, David Platt or some other Christian author who gives you practical advice on how to live the truth of the scripture and read, read, read.
• Private Disciplines: Faith grows when we commit ourselves to reading the word, to prayer, and to giving sacrificially.  This may be a good time to try fasting, even just skipping a meal to pray a few times a week, could have an amazing impact on your life and the life of our church.
• Personal Ministry:  The loss of a pastor means that there are big shoes to fill!  Many of us turn to him for advice, for counseling, and rely on his comfort when we are sick.  As a body we will have to fill the void by each of us digging deep and doing what we can to love and support each other. Remember that the normal means of communication may be down for a while, so when you have a need, find someone you trust and ask for help.
• Providential Relationships: The scripture is clear that the body grows as each part does its work, and it tells us that we need each other.  Now more than ever, invite people into your home, change your schedule to make time for fellowship, and let us encourage one another daily.  Use social media to check up on people, to ask how they are doing, and share the things from good books or scripture that are encouraging you.
• Pivotal Circumstances are the 5th thing on Andy Stanley’s list of what makes faith grow.  And this one is a double edged sword.  Pivotal circumstances and cripple our faith or make it stronger.  The key is how we deal with them. Deal with them by focusing on the things that make faith grow rather than on the the things that hurt or the things that divide.

Find just one or two people to meet with each week.  Commit to reading the same scripture, to praying for each other, to confessing sin to each other and to praying for people you love, who have not yet confessed Jesus as Lord. Keep the group extremely small, so that you don’t have to juggle schedules or worry about what someone will think.

The church is not a place we gather on Sundays. Biblically, we don’t find the concept that Christians “go to church”, instead we find as we read the Word that, “we are the church”.  We are not a body because we sing the same songs and hear the same sermons. We are a body only when we share the same mission, and the same strategy for carrying out that mission.  We don’t meet together to get a good encouraging feeling that will help us through the week, we meet together to spur each other on toward love and good deeds.  The good feelings will be different for a while, maybe even absent, but we can still spur each other on to run the race as if to win the prize.  

Sign Post 2

Carey's second sign that your church is ready to reach the unchurched is that "People in your church actually know unchurched people."

This one was a blind spot for me for a VERY long time.

Growing up I went to Christian School, and went to church.  My friends all came from one of those 2 places.  Now I work in an office full of Christians and I go to church, and most of my friends come from those places, other than that I am with my wife and kids

It is hard to be evangelistic when you live in a bubble, like I do.

I used to say that it was a matter of calling.  Some are called to plant seeds, and some are called to water them.  I shrugged of any discomfort with the lack of personal evangelism in my life by telling myself that I was called to water seeds.  Practically speaking, this meant that someone else brought them to church and I took it from there...

I compartmentalized the disciple making process.  Saw it less like a result of deep relationships and more like an assembly line.

To be sure we all have different roles to play.  God uses us as a body, and we all have different functions in the body.  A young man from our youth group recently decided to follow Jesus. His journey began when he saw the difference in two young ladies who made that decision a year earlier.  Curious about the changes in their lives, he asked them lots of questions.  When they didn't know the answers, they asked me questions, and shared the answers with him.  Eventually he came to a small group where one of our volunteers talked with him, then he had a conversation with one of the students he met at the small group, and during that conversation, made a decision to follow Jesus.  This is a beautiful picture of the body of Christ.  All kinds of different parts doing their work, resulting in eternal fruit.

A vital part of that process was two young ladies knowing an unchurched person.  They were light, in the world where God had them.  They lived out the scripture that tells us to "live such good lives among the pagans that they may see your good deeds and glorify your father who is in heaven".

We are told that a vital part of evangelism is to live our lives among the pagans.

So what do we do when we realize we are living in a bubble?

Well for me the answer is a wife who really understands this need to know and live among unchurched people.  She is intentional about making sure that we have people in our lives who aren't part of the bubble.  She gets uncomfortable in the bubble that is so natural for me.  Living among the unchurched is one of the big reasons she started working outside the home again. It if wasn't for her, this would have remained a major blind spot in my life.

If you find yourself in a bubble, I don't presume to know what specific steps God wants you to take.  I do know that  if we don't make knowing unchurched people a priority, then aren't really making the great commission a priority.

Sign Post 1

Today we will examine the first of Carey’s signs that your church is ready to reach unchurched people.

Carey Writes:  [the first sign that your church is ready to reach the unchurched is] Your main services engage teenagers: I've talked with many church leaders who want to reach unchurched people who can’t understand why unchurched people don’t like their church. They would be stumped until I asked them one last question: do the teens in your church love your services and want to invite their friends? As soon as I asked that question, the leader’s expression would inevitably change. He or she would look down at the floor and say ‘no’. Here’s what I believe: if teens find your main services (yes, the ones you run on Sunday mornings) boring, irrelevant, and disengaging, so will unchurched people. As a rule, if you can design services that engage teenagers, you've designed a church service that engages unchurched people.

Is he really advocating that we should want our main church service to be so shallow, and superficial that a narcissistic teenager would actually enjoy coming to church?

Maybe, but I think his point is that we should re-think who it is that attends our largest gatherings.

Freshman lectures at college have the largest attendance, as the course work gets more technical, more detailed, more advanced, the class sizes get smaller and smaller.

In the church we tend to do the opposite.  We offer intro level stuff in small groups, and intermediate and advance stuff to our largest audience.

Fixing this does not mean that we water down the message. Scripture is clear that the spiritual menu consists of both milk and solid food. I may prefer a good steak, but I will not deny the nutritional value of milk.

I will deny the nutritional value of Kool-aid. 

But what if the mature crowd were to gather, not because they want a steak, because they have a deep desire to carry out the great commission:  Go into all the world and make disciples.

What if this group of Christians, fully capable of grilling solid food in their own back yards all week long, comes together each week intent on using their combined gifts to reach those who do not yet know Christ.

This group of people would remind you that salvation requires that we deny ourselves and follow Jesus. 

Jesus, whose life they are trying to imitate, gave up the comforts of heaven and took on the nature of a servant, for the sake of an unchurched world. 

Thus, to them, aiming to engage on the level of the teenager no longer seems stupid, shallow or superficial.  

The Why Behind the What

I don't know about you, but my natural inclination is to coast.  You know, just let the momentum of previous effort or of gravity to do the work, so that I can take a break.  I tend to go through long periods where I just do what is easy or familiar, rather than what is excellent.

I can see the evidence all around me that this is not a good plan.  When I coast at home, the dishes pile up, the trash piles up, and we run out of wood for the wood stove, leading us to burn more oil, sending dollars up the chimney.  Coasting leads me to buy lunch instead of packing it, which leads to ingesting more calories and wasting money.  Coasting leads me to skip the gym, or my daily scripture reading.  Coasting leads me to letting the kids watch cartoons or play video games rather than engaging them.  Coasting leads me to plan my youth group lessons the night before, rather than planning, praying and preparing.

When you've had lots of success in the past, you can build up lots of momentum, and coasting can carry you for a good long time.  It can even go unnoticed that you are loosing speed, if it happens gradually.  The more momentum you had, the longer you can coast before crisis hits.  There is an old Irish proverb that seems quite apt "He who has a reputation for rising at dawn can sleep until noon."

Maybe it's only me, but haven't you had that moment when you realize your house, your car, your weight, or some other aspect of life is such a mess that you just don't even know where to start making it right?  Maybe that realization hits you on multiple fronts all at once, and the temptation is to just bury your head in the sand.  I know that's what happens to me.

So when I wake up to the fact that I've been coasting.  Coasting as a dad, coasting as a husband, coasting as a leader, coasting as an employee, coasting as a disciple, how do I get back on track?

For me the answer is in looking at 'the why behind the what',  i.e. 'motivation'.  Why do I want/need to put in some effort here?

If my house is cleaner, my wife knows I love her.  If I engage my kids, rather than plugging them into some piece of tech, then they are much more inclined to be obedient respectful and responsible, and better equipped to be the men God wants them to be.  If I stop wasting money on donunts and pizza, not only will I be healthier, but I will be able to spend money on something of greater value. If I am purposeful with what I teach teens and parents, then I will get to hear my King say, well done, good and faithful servant. 

If I continue coasting, then I have only to look at proverbs to see what happens to the fool and the sluggard, I can look at Matthew to see what happens to lazy servants and I can look at Revelation and see what happens to the luke warm.

What would it look like if I had a reason for everything that I do.  What reason could I find to watch netflix? what is the rational for spending so much time playing games on my ipad?  What decisions do I make everyday that I really cannot justify?

I've been coasting.  Making decisions because they are easy, not because they are right.  I'm almost out of momentum, and it's time to take a good long look at the "Why" behind "What" I do.

A checklist for leaders.

Below is part of a recent Blog Post by Carey Nieuwhof.  You can read more from him here:
http://careynieuwhof.com/2012/11/a-critical-question-that-could-transform-your-leadership-style/

Carey Writes: "Here’s the question I’ve begun asking over the last few years. It’s become almost an all consuming question.
 
Are people better as a result of working with me?
 
Here are some ways to gauge whether the people around you are better off as a result of working alongside you or ‘for’ you:

• Have they grown spiritually?
• Has their leadership ability increased?
• Has their character developed and deepened?
• Are they closer to God?
• Are they better people?
• Have they accomplished significant things in the course of serving?
• Do they have a keen sense that God is using them to make a difference?
• Are their families glad they signed up?
• Do they feel more fulfilled?

The question doesn’t drive nearly as much toward whether it’s easy, but it does drive toward whether it’s worth it. Is it worth it to have given as much as I’ve given? Is it worth it to have devoted my best talents, energies and resources toward this cause?
 
If you can create a leadership culture like that, you will have truly led a great organization. Not everyone will stay forever, but they will have been better for having said “yes” when you ask.
 
What are you learning in this area? What might you add to the list of ways to ensure people are better for working with you? Is there a better way to frame the question?"

Again all of the above was written by Carey Nieuwhof - Read the entire post here:
http://careynieuwhof.com/2012/11/a-critical-question-that-could-transform-your-leadership-style/

This Kicked my Butt.

I sat down with my coffee, to enjoy a little reading before starting my day at the office.  To my great delight, there was a post from my favorite blogger.  It was even on a topic that I am really wrestling with.  I thought to myself, "Pumpkin coffee and and a Carey Nieuwhof post on leadership, a perfect start to my morning". 

Then I read the post and got my butt kicked.  I hope you enjoy, and are challenged.

http://careynieuwhof.com/2012/09/the-number-one-reason-you-and-the-people-you-lead-dont-change/

Quiet Time Reflections

In John 6 Jesus feeds the 5,000, then walks across the lake, calms a storm, and lands on the far shore, just in time to be greeted by the same crowd of people.  They are all wondering how he got there, and He gave them this beautifully blunt and un-politically correct response,  "You aren't looking for me" He said, "because you want to believe, you are looking for me because you want a free meal." ~ CPV (Charlie Paraphrased Version)
You have to love Jesus way with words.  He never pulled any punches or told  a crowd what they wanted to hear, instead He went straight to the heart of the matter.

I am tempted to dwell on His blunt and rather offensive manner of speaking (we are so quick to take offense that I think we would write Jesus off as unloving if he were walking the earth today), but is what followed that really caught my attention.  He said "Do not work for the food that perishes, but work for the food which endures to eternal life."

It is a simple reminder that goes along with what Jesus said in Matthew 6. - "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things (speaking of basic necessities like food and clothing) will be given to you."

How often do we kill ourselves working to make the mortgage payment, or to pay the electricity bill, or to  make the car payment, or to pay the mechanic just keep the poor old thing running for a few more months. How much time have I spent stressing out over our looming loss of insurance coverage, even contemplating giving up ministry to keep insurance!?  How many of my peers have I watched work harder for the things that aren't necessities,  Internet access, apple products, smart phone plans, ballet lessons & travel basketball fees for junior, and that vacation they've always wanted…

Jesus effectively said, "don't work for temporary things, work for eternal things." & "Seek Me first and I'll take care of the rest". 

Do I trust Him enough to actually live that way?

Give me your feed back.  Have you put these words of Jesus into practice? Why/How or Why not?