To My Church Family

To my Church Family,

Most of us have only ever entered into two covenant relationships, marriage and church membership.  The emotions we will experience as we process our pastor’s resignation is akin to the trauma of divorce, and we will be hurting deeply for some time to come because of it.  But the same bond that makes this separation hurt so much, is also, by the grace of God, what can help us to overcome.  These pivotal circumstances have the potential to strengthen our faith, or to crush it, and I pray that we will come through this with a greater determination to live the lives Christ died for us to live.

As we travel this road, we will experience a wide range of emotion.  Some will feel relieved, some confused, others hurt, some will no doubt be angry, some of us will want to try to fix it, some of us will just withdraw, preferring not to deal with it, and some of us will try to pretend like it doesn't much matter...  As the stages of grief unfold, we may find ourselves frustrated with others whose responses to this difficulty are dramatically different than our own.  We must be careful to let every conversation we have be “full of grace, and seasoned with salt”.  In other words, we must make every effort to love each other through this, and to make sure that we focus on building each other up, not tearing each other down.

As we navigate these waters, let us remember the fundamental things that make faith grow:

• Practical Teaching:  We are losing a great teacher, and we will all need to find ways to fill the void.  Practical teaching don’t have to come from a stage on a Sunday Morning, grab a good book by Francis Chan, Andy Stanley, David Platt or some other Christian author who gives you practical advice on how to live the truth of the scripture and read, read, read.
• Private Disciplines: Faith grows when we commit ourselves to reading the word, to prayer, and to giving sacrificially.  This may be a good time to try fasting, even just skipping a meal to pray a few times a week, could have an amazing impact on your life and the life of our church.
• Personal Ministry:  The loss of a pastor means that there are big shoes to fill!  Many of us turn to him for advice, for counseling, and rely on his comfort when we are sick.  As a body we will have to fill the void by each of us digging deep and doing what we can to love and support each other. Remember that the normal means of communication may be down for a while, so when you have a need, find someone you trust and ask for help.
• Providential Relationships: The scripture is clear that the body grows as each part does its work, and it tells us that we need each other.  Now more than ever, invite people into your home, change your schedule to make time for fellowship, and let us encourage one another daily.  Use social media to check up on people, to ask how they are doing, and share the things from good books or scripture that are encouraging you.
• Pivotal Circumstances are the 5th thing on Andy Stanley’s list of what makes faith grow.  And this one is a double edged sword.  Pivotal circumstances and cripple our faith or make it stronger.  The key is how we deal with them. Deal with them by focusing on the things that make faith grow rather than on the the things that hurt or the things that divide.

Find just one or two people to meet with each week.  Commit to reading the same scripture, to praying for each other, to confessing sin to each other and to praying for people you love, who have not yet confessed Jesus as Lord. Keep the group extremely small, so that you don’t have to juggle schedules or worry about what someone will think.

The church is not a place we gather on Sundays. Biblically, we don’t find the concept that Christians “go to church”, instead we find as we read the Word that, “we are the church”.  We are not a body because we sing the same songs and hear the same sermons. We are a body only when we share the same mission, and the same strategy for carrying out that mission.  We don’t meet together to get a good encouraging feeling that will help us through the week, we meet together to spur each other on toward love and good deeds.  The good feelings will be different for a while, maybe even absent, but we can still spur each other on to run the race as if to win the prize.  

Thoughts from the Orange Conference - Personal

I just attended the Orange Conference in Atlanta.  

It was the Orange Conference that first inspired me to blog, and honestly I had recently given up on blogging, but I am inspired to try again.

Over the next four days I will post bullet points on my thoughts from the Orange Conference.  They are just bullet points, not complete thoughts.  So if you want deeper understanding of a point or two you'll have to comment and ask.

Today we start with the things that impacted me personally. These bullet points capture the changes that I hope to see in my approach to people and ministry:

• Community is Messy. That’s okay God uses messy.  When I try to avoid mess, I avoid the things that can cause me and others to grow.
• See people for who they can become in Christ, instead of for their biggest mistake.
• Invest in the Kingdom of God, not in building a kingdom. God’s kingdom is bigger than my church.
• Be more available. – Thousands experienced Jesus’ abilities (ie speaking, healing, and miracles) but only about 120 people were huddled together praying after his resurrection.  These were the people who had experienced his availability.  It was through these people that He changed the world.
• People will not believe they are significant until they are given something significant to do.
• Cast vision big enough to scare high capacity leaders. Big vision attracts high capacity leaders.
• How people respond to my message has more to do with my approach than my argument.
• Fight for people, rather than with them.
• Remember that people outside the church won’t believe something “because the bible says so” The authority of the early church came from their love. Their love was demonstrated by putting their belief into action, not just by talking about it, is what caused people to listen to their message, and gave authority to their words.
• Think about how appealing the smell of fresh baked bread is.  Anyone passing by a bakery longs for what is inside.  I should be like that as a Christian.

Now hopefully something you just read provoked a thought.  If so post a comment, and let's talk.

Sign Post 4

Carey says that the 4th sign that your church is ready to meet unchurched people is that, "4. You’re good with questions." 

HE clarifies by saying  "This one’s still hard for me. I like to think that every question has an answer. I think one of the reasons unchurched people flee churches is they feel shut down when every question they ask has a snappy or even quick answer. They will find answers, but you need to give them time. Embracing the questions of unchurched people is a form of embracing them."

Do you have all the answers?  Most of us don't, but most of us do have answers that satisfies us.  Interestingly enough, our answer may be VERY different from the answer that the Church down the street has.  If we care about theology at all, then we probably picked our church because that's where we found the most satisfying answers t our big questions. I don't know about you, but some of the questions that I have about faith are BIG.

When faced with big questions, it can be tempting to find a satisfying answer, and accept it, rather than to dig into it and think critically about it.

It is one thing to have searched the scriptures and be confident in a biblically based answer to a difficult question.  

It is another thing entirely to say "because God says so" without having a clue where in the Bible it says so, or how the answer is in keeping with the character of God.  

An uninformed Christian, especially who insists they know the answers, can do more harm than good when it comes to reaching the lost.

We are called to make disciples, which means being disciples.  We are told to teach people to obey everything Jesus commanded us. That means we need to know what he commanded... And I highly recommend where he said it, the context in which it was said, and how it is in keeping with the character of God as described in the entirety of scripture. 

Until we are willing to do this, we won't be able to go into all the world and make disciples.

Beer With Jesus

It may come as a shock to some of you who know me, given that I've never had so much as a sip of beer, but I really like the song "Beer with Jesus", by Thomas Rhett.  (Confessing this will probably upset some of my friends who believe that Jesus turned water into "non-alcoholic wine" at the wedding in Cana.)

If you have never heard the song, you should take a listen.  Here is a link to the lyrics.

While the questions posed by the song may not reflect perfect theology, and they made not be the questions that a student of the word would ask, they do reflect a clear desire for a personal relationship with the Savior.

It also makes it clear that Jesus is approachable.  As I listen to the song I can't help but believe that Jesus would like nothing more than to sit down across a table from me, and chat. I don't think He'd mind sipping a beer.

But it's not the beer that intrigues me.  What makes this song so thought provoking is the idea of a corner table and a chance to have a private conversation with Jesus.  Like the singer, "I'd be sure to let Him do the talking," but I'd also have a plethora of questions I'd be "Careful when I got the chance to ask".

My favorite part of the song has to be that the most important question, the one that gets repeated over and over is, "How'd you turn the other cheek, to save a sorry soul like me?"  Of all the other questions I have, that one is really what matters.

We get caught up on whether or not Jesus would actually drink a beer, which church would he attend, who would he vote for, which side would he take on this debate or that debate? Could I sing this song at my church without having people walk out? But the critical question is one of forgiveness.  How does He manage to love a sorry soul like me so much that He forgives me time, after time, after time? 

If I could fully comprehend the depth of that love, how would it change me.  How would it change the way I love others?  Would all of the squabbles and divisions disappear?  Most importantly, how much more approachable would Jesus be to the world...

The Missing Ingredient...

In my last post, "Not Everything Is Beneficial", I wrote about how I feel like I have a lesson to learn. I was intentionally vague, but I think I have learned a few things, so here is an update.

I was preparing to teach Sunday School over the weekend, (our parent's group talks about what our kids are learning and how we can apply those lessons on an adult level) so I was reviewing the preschool and elementary curriculum. The elementary kids were going to be learning about Ruth, and how she determined to help Naomi even when it was difficult, while the preschoolers would be learning that God forgives us for our bad choices, from the story of the sinful woman who washed Jesus' feet. Putting the two side by side I saw something that has been missing from my well intentioned, but not so well received, interactions: Compassion.

Jesus had a heart full of compassion for the woman who washed his feet, no matter what she had done. When he wanted some alone time after finding out his cousin had been beheaded, the crowds followed him. Rather than turn them away, he had compassion on them. Looking toward Jerusalem during the journey that would lead to his crucifixion, he longed to gather her children together like a hen gathering chicks under her wings... He tackled problems and dealt with messy people, but had great compassion.

(Note: There was also a time for flipping over tables, and calling religious leaders vipers... But Jesus had the discernment to know what emotional state would be most edifying in each situation)

So, here is some of the context that brought me to this place of learning... I installed a new computer network for my employer. It was a much needed upgrade, the first in 14 years, which is an eternity in the computing world. Installation was a challenge, as I have never done this kind of work before, but installation was nothing compared to helping people who had done things the same way for a decade and a half over the learning curve.

So much was new and different and they were all overwhelmed. There was also the issue of the backlog that was created at my desk while I spent weeks as an IT guy instead of being a paralegal. The first few days I was patient and understanding, genuinely believing in all the good things that the updated system would do for my employers and coworkers. Then after 3 days of feeling like I had repeated myself over and over, while getting little to none of my own work done, I started getting exasperated. I was short and to the point, instead of cheerful. Rather than extolling the virtues of the new system, or helping people get excited about the changes, I accomplished the task as quickly as possible and moved on. I had surgical precision, but terrible bedside manner. Everyone else who was already struggling with the changes now had to deal with my lack of compassion. The person they were looking to for help, for comfort in their distress, was surly and short with them. Pleas for help turned into complaints, and my assistance was shunned...

My "Aha" moment came when I realized that I have done the same thing at my church...

I was put in charge of some long overdue upgrades to an old system, and helping people through the transition was something that I did with great joy... at first. But as weeks of transition turned into months, and as I ran out of was to rephrase the information, I transitioned from joyful to surgical, from compassionate to precise, from patient to edgy, from pleasant to blunt...

It took the trustworthy wounds of multiple friends to get through to me that my manner was damaging the message. People that were hesitant to accept help or transition from cheerful Charlie, were never going to accept it from grumpy Charlie. There may have been some places along the way where some tables needed to be flipped, or some things needed to be called out, but I had gotten stuck in table flipping mode, and was giving off an attitude that said, "I'll try being nicer when you try being smarter". Thus my suggestions, no matter how precise or accurate I may have thought they were, became something unedifying, because of the emotions with which they were conveyed.

To sum my learning thus far: Basically, it is not just what I say, but how I say it. It is not just my motivation, but the emotions I convey. If I can't bring all the pieces together (why, how, attitude and emotional state) it may be best to wait, pray, double check my own eyes for logs and respond when I can do so with the shrewdness of a serpent and the innocence of a dove.

That is not to say that I am done learning on this topic, but I think I have figured out part of the equation. Now I am looking forward to refining this, putting it into practice, and reconciling with some people I have offended.

I am also looking forward to your feedback.

Not Everything is Beneficial

So apparently I have a lesson to learn.

I am in process, so this post is not going to be about what I have learned, but rather what I am trying to learn. By blogging, I'm hoping to organize my thoughts a bit, and get some peer review.

I think the lesson I need to learn revolves around 1 Corinthians 10:23 "All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things edify." (NASB)

It seems lately that doing what is arguably the "right" or "lawful" thing, has caused unintended consequences.


Someone presents a problem.  I see a solution.  I am stirred with compassion, and have a strong desire to help, so I start proposing solutions... Then something goes wrong, (and this is the part I am working on)  and people get annoyed with me.  Like my input somehow offends them. 

My normal response to this would be to get indignant, and say, "Fine if you don't want my help then why are you telling me about your problem!"  After all, my fifth grade teacher (Mrs. Myrtle Spencer, a former military woman turned teacher) made it abundantly clear that we were not to complain unless we were willing to work toward solving the problem... 

But this has been happening so often lately that I think a re-think is in order...  Maybe the fifth grade philosophy needs a second look.

Could it be that there is a time to speak and a time to remain silent?  Could it be that not every problem I hear about needs to be solved by me ASAP. 

Could it be that I have a pride issue and that there something condescending my approach to helping others? 

Could it be that in certain circumstances helping is lawful, but not beneficial, or edifying?  If so, how on earth (or in heaven) do I tell the difference?

I am sure there are other possibilities as well...

So I am convinced (or maybe convicted is a better word) There is a lesson hear to be learned.  I am not sure that I have framed the question well, but the obscurity is necessary to protect the innocent.  I'm not complaining about anyone, I'm trying to re-think a long established pattern in how I interact with people, because my way seems to be hurting more than helping, and I really do want to "do only what us useful for building others up according to their needs".

Any suggestions?

Jonah

Last Sunday Morning at church my youngest son was given a Jonah story book as a Christmas present.  Just before nap time he asked me to read it to him.  As 3 year olds are want to do, he asked me to read the book over and over and over.

It was only 4 pages long, so I felt compelled to oblige.

Since the book was short on pages, it left out a good bit of information.  It was fun to see what my boy of 3 years knew as I asked him questions and he filled in the blanks.  (He and his brother are both big on the idea that it was a 'big fish' not a 'whale' that swallowed Jonah. Where they learned the distinction I'm not sure, but it is important to them.)

Always looking for a moral to apply to familiar stories, we talked about the idea that Jonah's disobedience put other people in danger.

This is one of those stories where it is tempting to argue that God was somehow being unfair to the poor innocent sailors.  Why put everyone on the boat in danger when Jonah was the problem? Why not have a swarm of bugs come bother just Jonah, or cover him with leprosy until he straightened out his act? Why did God choose to put dozens of lives in danger over Jonah's sin?

God is a teacher and always looking to get His point across, and I believe his choice to put the entire ship in danger because of one man's sin was made to teach us.  Here are a few thoughts on what that might be.

1. Our sin affects others. Like it or not, none of us sin in a vacuum. We like to believe that our sins only hurt us, but it isn't true, and this is just one of several places we see the theme repeated in scripture.

Think of Abraham. He decided that waiting for God to fulfill his promise of giving him a son needed some human intervention, so he sired a child with his hand maid. Her descendants are still at war with the children of the promise, and we cannot turn on the news without hearing about it. One guy a few thousand years ago stepped outside his marriage in a culturally acceptable way with his wife's blessing, and millennia of bloodshed ensued.

If only I could keep that perspective when tempted.

2. Sometimes you have to throw someone overboard for the good of the ship.  The sailors didn't want to throw Jonah overboard.  They did everything they could to solve the problem in their own strength before they threw him over, but it wasn't until they tossed him in that the storm stopped.

Jonah knew it had to happen.  He is the one who told them to do it.

I'm trying to imagine being one of these sailors. Hearing this runaway prophet tell me that the only way to survive the storm is to throw him in the ocean, would have perplexed me. On one hand I'd doubt his credibility. Here he is claiming divine knowledge about how to solve the problem, when clearly his deity is not pleased with him. But after I threw him in and it worked, I'd probably wish that I had listened to him sooner, because I would still have some of the cargo that I had thrown in before him.

There may come a time, when you and I have to decide to let someone go, for the good of the ship. Maybe that will be in our personal life, or in a business or ministry setting.  We may not be able to continue in the direction we need to go with them on board. We may feel horrible about it (and we should), but God will take care of them, we have a responsibility to the rest of the crew, to the mission, to the people that entrusted us with their cargo. Usually this just means making decisions that will cause them to jump over board (quit the job, storm out vowing never to speak to you, find a new church etc.)   But sometimes more extreme circumstances call for more extreme measures.  For all of his insight into the problem, Jonah wasn't jumping overboard, he waited to be thrown, knowing he was putting lives, and the mission of the ship, in danger.  Proverbs says "drive out the scoffer and contention will go out, even strife and dishonor will cease.  We see similar ideas as we read 1st Corinthians 5 or Joshua 7.

What do you think?  Am I reading too much into this? 

I have a post on the importance of unity going up tomorrow. That will probably make it look like I disagree with myself (again).  So tune back in tomorrow then let's talk. I would love to discuss this further.

DISCLAIMER:  This thought is not complete, and it is important to note, before letting todays thought simmer, that there is a well outlined plan for how to deal with someone who may need to be thrown overboard in Matthew 18 as well as serious restrictions on when to do it found throughout scripture.  Just like the sailors did not take tossing Jonah overboard lightly, this should only be done with extreme caution under extreme circumstances.

Timing is Everything

God's timing that is...

I have an agenda, a schedule, a calendar.  I used to have a 5 year plan, even a 10 year plan...

God has an agenda too.  I use to think that all I had to do was have Godly priorities and everything would work out fine, but the more I walk through life, and the better I get to know His heart, I am realizing that my desires aren't the problem, my agenda is.

I think I am trying to say that, "God and I have the same end in mind, we just have vastly different ideas about how to get there."

I've often wondered why I didn't get a "calling".  Honestly I grew up expecting that if I just got to know Him well enough, "it" would happen.  I'd mystically understand to the very core of my being what I was created to do.

But calling doesn't always come from a "God called Abram" moment, or from a "And the voice from heaven saying..." experience.  I thought the goal was to quietly go about my business, and wait for someone to say "Follow me and I will make you a fisher of men." 

The more I get to know God the more I understand calling in terms of Romans 12:2 "Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, then you will be able to test and approve what the will of God is, that which is good perfect and pleasing to Him."

The more I get to know God the more I understand calling in terms of Matthew 6:33 "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

I will find a job that meets my needs, so that I won't become a burden or a thief, but also one doesn't lead me to such abundance that forget my dependence on God. 

I will learn what I need to know to further God's kingdom, not to fatten my wallet. 

I will pursue work and education with excellence, but never so much so that I don't have time for the work of God's kingdom.

I won't borrow to get where I think God wants me to be now, because God said that the borrower is slave to the lender, and I don't want any master but Him. Instead I will find a way to accomplish God's goals according to God's methods, not according to my own.

That is the Re-Think moment.  Pursue God's goals according to God's methods.  His kingdom according to His righteousness. 

Trust that God doesn't just plan the ends, He also plans the means. 

Listen for the voice behind you that says "this is the way, walk in it".

Let His word be "a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path", even if there is only enough light to see one step at a time...

Because God's timing is perfect.

The value of Re-Thinking

The Orange Leader's blog recently posted this "Ted Talk"  all about how we tie our shoes.   It will take you 3 minutes to watch the video.

I watched it and remembered that Orange is not just a children's "program" or a curriculum.  It is part of something bigger called "the re-think group". 

There are huge benefits to be had when we challenge our basic assumptions, when we re-think the way we've always done something, when we take the time to make a minor adjustment.  We are creatures of habit, and we seldom stop to think what might happen if we did something just a little differently.

I want to be the kind of person who is always open to learning and growing.  I think we all say that, but how many of us will actually take the time to re-think how we tie our shoes?  Ultimately we tend to take a "if it is not broken, don't fix it" approach to life.  There is no sense of urgency about learning a knew method for tying shoes. 

But what do we do when we know something is broken? When we know it needs to be fixed, how do we approach the situation?  I tend to try harder, but continue using the old methods.  I go back to basics, or to what I know worked before, rather than innovating.  In other words, I get stuck in a rut, and eventually that rut gets so deep that I don't even know how to get out.

Maybe I just find this video interesting because of all of the other "orange thinking" that I have been exposed to.  My hope is that after watching, you'll have a better understanding of why I call my blog Moving and Re-thinking.  Maybe you'll be challenged to take a fresh approach to some challenge in your life. "You are doing it wrong" doesn't always have to be a criticism, sometimes, it is just a fact.  There is a better way to do something, a way you've never considered.

I Am So Selfish

Have you ever noticed how whatever uncomfortable thing you are going through seems to be the biggest problem in the world?  We can easily convince ourselves that no one has been through anything quite like what we are going through now. 

We recognize this in our kids.  Each bump or bruise, each time they don't get what they want, they react like the world is coming to an end.  They make the problem a million times bigger that what it really is. 

Let me give you an example.  My 2 year old fell and bruised his knee.  At first he cried loudly and told me that he was going to die.  Then he was convinced for 2 days that we needed to go to the doctor and get crutches for him.  In reality the bruise was smaller than a dime, and he can run, jump and play like he always has.

But don't we do the same thing?  Our perspective may be a bit bigger, so we focus on different issues.  But if the problem is on the higher end of what we have experienced, then we act like my 2 year old.  (or maybe this is just me)

Case and point.  My wife has been gone for 3 weeks.  Many people tell me I am crazy for letting her go, and know I am crazy when I tell them it was my idea that she go.  In the midst of this 3 week experience I've been overwhelmed with the playing the role of both dad and mom, and moving to a new home without her.  Even after all of the amazing help she gave by getting our move ready and arranging the schedule of baby sitters, I have been amazed at the difficulty of life without my spouse. Friends and family come up to me with concerned looks, ask me how I'm doing, cook meals for me like someone is in the hospital, men shake their heads and tell me they are terrified to have their wife gone for 3 hours, let alone 3 weeks...

Don't get me wrong I really appreciate the support.  More than words can say. My purpose is not to criticize anyone but myself.  This has been on the difficult fringe of my spectrum of experience.  But how does it compare to the experiences of others all around me.  When a member of the military deploys for months at a time, do I respond with the same amount of love and support people have shown  me?  My spouse is on a glorified vacation for almost a month, theirs will be at war for months at a time.  I have a new level of appreciation for our men and women in uniform, and a much deeper respect for those they leave behind.

But even as I think of them, there is another type of person who deserves more love and support from me.  When I think of the military spouse, I feel foolish for making my recent experience seem so harrowing. As much as I cannot imagine being a military spouse, it is even more impossible for me to imagine being a single parent.  I know my wife is coming back.  The military spouse has fear of the worst, but also has hope of the return of their loved one.  The single parent is alone. No one organizing the boxes, or the sitters before they leave, no one to e-mail or chat with once in a while.  No relief. 

I cannot even imagine. 

No wonder God tells us that true religion is to look after orphans and widows in their distress. 

So today, as I am just two and a half days from having my spouse back, I realize that I have been so selfish.  My eyes have been on what I don't have, rather than on all that God has given me. 

Lord, I pray that you will use this experience to open  my eyes to a knew level of loving the people around me.  That I will be able to get my eyes off myself and my problems, and focus on showing love to others who need love and support, who need someone to be Jesus to them.

This Kicked my Butt.

I sat down with my coffee, to enjoy a little reading before starting my day at the office.  To my great delight, there was a post from my favorite blogger.  It was even on a topic that I am really wrestling with.  I thought to myself, "Pumpkin coffee and and a Carey Nieuwhof post on leadership, a perfect start to my morning". 

Then I read the post and got my butt kicked.  I hope you enjoy, and are challenged.

http://careynieuwhof.com/2012/09/the-number-one-reason-you-and-the-people-you-lead-dont-change/

Malachi - a confession

WARNING: Extremely Introspective Blog Post.

WARNING: Bible Reading Required.

If you haven't done so in a while go read Malachi.  Carve out a solid half hour so you can read it, as it was intended to be read, beginning to end.  (Seriously, please don't read this post until you have read Malachi... Malachi is much better reading anyway.  Also while I have you hear in parenthesis, I will give my standard warning about annoyingly introspective )

If you are like me, and guilty of neglecting Old Testament books that don't start with the letter 'P', you may not notice what an excellent piece of literature this little book is. 

It is the perfect punctuation for the OT. 
It puts our sin right in our face, while giving us hope at the same time. 
It doesn't pull any punches.

This is a book of the Bible written to the religious. Bear that in mind.  The people being warned are do not belong to a wide world of those who do not know God, but to a people comfortable in their theology, content with their level of understanding and convinced of their own righteousness because of how they practiced religion.

I preached out of Malachi once.  It was my last series of messages before leaving the church I grew up in.  I was young(er), (more)arrogant and disillusioned. I used this book like a weapon, as a way of railing against all of the things I thought my church was doing wrong.  This morning I read Malachi, and was very tempted to apply what I read to others rather than to myself.  But as I have been meditating on it throughout the morning, I have been convicted that I need to use the word as a mirror.  Here are some of the verses that convicted me, and my accompanying confessions. 

"I have loved you," says the LORD. But you say, "How have You loved us?"

I am blessed beyond measure, but spend most of my time focused on my "problems".

 ***

"But when you present the blind for sacrifice, is it not evil? And when you present the lame and sick, is it not evil?

Guilty.  How often do I turn in an effort that is "good enough" instead of giving my best to God?

 ***

You have wearied the LORD with your words. Yet you say, "How have we wearied Him?"



So many hours spent talking about things of the Lord, but when it comes time to apply them, I shrink back, or stand silently by while others shrink back, and refuse to properly apply the word.

 ***

"From the days of your fathers you have turned aside from My statutes and have not kept them. Return to Me, and I will return to you," says the LORD of hosts. "But you say, 'How shall we return?

Tradition has been my filter for so long, that I am no longer sure what true worship even looks like.

 ***

"Will a man rob God? Yet you are robbing Me! But you say, 'How have we robbed You?' In tithes and offerings... Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse

I budget: "This time/energy/money is God's, this over here is for family, this is for pleasure, this is for work," etc...  I give what I feel obligated to give, and keep the rest for myself. I convince myself it is more than others give, but if I am honest I now it is less than my Great King is asking of me.  It is all His, but I treat it like it is all mine, and He should be happy with what I give Him.  I rob God.

 ***

Then those who feared the LORD spoke to one another, and the LORD gave attention and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before Him for those who fear the LORD and who esteem His name... So you will again distinguish between the righteous and the wicked, between one who serves God and one who does not serve Him.

In a sea of those who are religious there is a smaller group made up of people who actually fear the Lord. I must learn to tell the difference.  I must fear the Lord and seek out others who do so.

 ***

"For behold, the day is coming, burning like a furnace; and all the arrogant and every evildoer will be chaff; and the day that is coming will set them ablaze," says the LORD of hosts, "so that it will leave them neither root nor branch. But for you who fear My name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings..." 

 

Lord forgive my arrogance, teach me to fear you.







Walkabout Day 3

The third day of my walkabout, was scheduled to be a climb up and across the Saddleback Mountain range a series of three 4000 foot peaks.   I thought I would try it, but after about 2 miles The knees just wouldn't take it anymore.

I spent the rest of the day in a series of caves and on Piazza rock, reading my Bible and talking to God.  It was the best part of my time in the woods.  Relieved of the distraction of climbing mountains, I was able to focus on my real reason for being in the woods.

I got to read entire books of the Bible.

I spent hours in prayer and solitude.

I was reminded of the value of being still and knowing Him. 

It was extremely refreshing. 

I spent a third night in the woods, and the following day I sang old hymns loudly as I hiked down from lofty mountain grandeur, saw the brooks and felt the gentle breeze.  I then got to spend another 1/2 day in the woods and the word while waiting for my wife to pick me up.

Just before my hike I bought a medallion.

It appealed to me because it reminded me that if I want strong branches I must have strong roots.  If I want to bear fruit, I have to be well nourished.  If I want what people see to positively influence them, then I need to be diligent and disciplined in the things they can't see.

I think that this was the biggest lesson from my time in the woods. 
I have been so focused on trying to bear fruit that I forgot the wisdom of Psalm 1.

 

Blessed is the man... whose delight is in the law of the Lord,

and in His law he meditates day and night.

He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,

Which yields fruit in its season and it's leaf does not wither;

and in whatever he does, he prospers.

Seems like a simple lesson. 
Put first things first...
Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness... 

Sometimes I get so focused on seeking His kingdom, that I forget to just seek Him. 

Like not being able to see the forest for the trees, or not being able to enjoy the trail because you are thinking about the difficult climb ahead...

I needed to be reminded.

Meditate on the Word.

Because if the roots are healthy, the fruit and the leaves will be healthy.

 

For the ground that drinks the rain which often falls on it and brings forth vegetation useful to those for whose sake it is also tilled, receives a blessing from God; but if it yields thorns and thistles, it is worthless and close to being  cursed and it ends up being burned. 

Hebrews 6:7&8

Walkabout Day 2

The game changer for day two of my hike was the little knee injury from the previous day.  I think I hurt it initially about a month ago when hiking with the teens.  I slipped and landed badly, but the terrain wasn't so bad and I kept going.  It wasn't until the next day that it really hurt.  On the second day of my walkabout I realized it was likely the same injury.

 

With 11.4 miles ahead of me, I decided to get an early start.   My first break would be about five miles down the trail at a spot where the trail cam near a small pond.  I was about two miles in, enjoying the beauty of the forest in the early morning, and singing loudly and badly, when Sunshine, a thru-hiker, caught up to me.  I managed to keep up with him for the next two and a half miles, and enjoyed conversation and trail stories.  We took our ease at the lake, and I heard a bit more of his life when he's not on the trail, and shared a bit about my life.  As with Troubadour the night before, I wished that I could say something profound that would turn our conversation to things eternal, but it didn't happen...  When we started back down my aching knee had started taking it's toll, and the morning spent hiking faster that I probably should have also was having an effect, and I was quickly outdistanced. 

It wasn't long before being gentle on the left knee started taking it's toll on the old car accident injury to my right knee, and the possibility that I may not get over the looming mountains grew to a probability. 

 

As I hiked I wondered why these journeys always seem to end early on account of injury.  As I traversed the miles in solitude, I came up with three distinct possibilities.

 

1. Perseverance:  Could it be that I'm just a wimp, and don't like to do things that are uncomfortable?  I met an eight or nine year old boy on a day hike with his family, and you could tell by the look on his face he wasn't enjoying his trek.  He looked at me and asked "Can you tell me how this is supposed to build character?" as though someone had told him that hiking would do so, but he really didn't believe them.  I told him that it would teach him to keep going even when things got hard and that would help him in everything else.  His dad smiled broadly and as our paths crossed I heard him say something to the effect of "see that's what I've been telling you".  Perhaps that was the lesson I needed to learn.  Just persevere.  Don't quit because it isn't easy.  Fight through it.  Like I told that boy, it is a lesson worth learning, that has application for every aspect of life, and especially ministry.

 

2. Refocus.  I went out on the trail to spend quite time with God, but all I could think about was the trail, the mountains, the miles, etc.  Hiking was supposed to be my secondary objective, but there I was ready to quit because hiking hurt.  I has told my wife I needed at least three nights alone in the woods with God.  I needed to focus on that objective, being alone with God.  To be still and know Him better, but my focus was all on hiking.  I realized that ministry can be the same way.  I find myself so busy that what should be an expression or overflow of my relationship with God becomes my main objective.

 

3. Get Healthy.  Sometimes the simple solution is the best one.  Sometimes, you hurt and can't do what you want to do because you are just six years older than the last time you tried this and you've gained weight, and sat behind a desk for too long.  Sometimes you need just this kind of a wake up call so that you'll get into the kind of shape you know you'll need to be in to keep up with two little boys who will soon be teenagers.

 

I think that's enough for today... 

All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful;  yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.  Therefore strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble, and make straight paths for your feet so that the limb which is lame may not be put out of joint but rather healed.

Hebrews 12:11-13

Rethink - Numbers vs. Obedience

As someone involved in ministry I find numbers are far more a part of my life than I'd like them to be. And I find my self in search of a better tool for evaluating success and failure. Within minutes of every conversation about my work as a youth leader, I'll get the question, "How many teens come to your youth group?" People also want to know how many kids come through our children's ministry. How many hours I work, etc. Numbers are the first tool people use to evaluate success or failure.  They are an easy way to put you in a box.

I'll be honest, I chafe under that type of evaluation.  I could have 200 teens coming to my youth group, but I wouldn't know their names or stories, I wouldn't be able to tell you each piece of spiritual fruit that grows, or which branches need to be pruned.  I wish someone would ask me how my teens were growing rather than how many are attending.  Because no matter how much time and energy I pour into youth ministry there will be more teens at the movies on any given Saturday night than at my youth group.  There will be more people at a Waterfront Concert, than in my church on Sunday, and there will be more kids at the Maine Jump than in Sunday School.  If we evaluate by numbers, then the world wins...  every time.

By this point you probably think the point of this blog post is to complain about the way people evaluate by numbers, you may even feel like I am right, but that I'm being a bit of a whiner about it.  Maybe you disagree and think that my desire to be judged on something other than numbers is motivated by an attempt to have people overlook poor performance.  In either case you'd be wrong.  The reason for this blog post is that I still evaluate by numbers.  If you ask me how many teens come to youth group, I'll be quick to brag about the number that have come to know Jesus in the last few months.  If you ask me about the children's ministry, I'll tell you how it has doubled since I took over, and if you ask me how many kids came to VBS last night, I'll be too embarrassed to tell you.  As  much as I don't like be judged by numbers, I still use them to evaluate success and failure.  You know what that makes me... A hypocrite!

Here's one thing I know.  If we evaluate by numbers then we would all have to agree that Peter's ministry was much more effective than Jesus' ministry.  Think about it.  After 3 years Jesus had 120 people convinced that He was the Son of God.  Peter preached his first sermon and 3,000 were added to that number.  We know that Peter couldn't have done what he did without the events of Jesus life, and without the Holy Spirit, but if we were evaluate their ministries like we evaluate the ministries in your church or my church we'd find ourselves more impressed with Peter...

He's another thing I know, most of Jesus miracles were done for individuals.  One life changed at a time, was enough for the Son of God, and should be enough for me.  That VBS I told you about was just what one single mother needed.  Our new approach, of having parents and kids learn together, may have done a number on our numbers, but it was just what one life needed.  Another mom got some great perspective on the changes that have taken  place in the few months since Jesus became part of her family's life, and a lie the devil had been whispering in her ear was refuted.  Another life positively impacted.  And while I would have liked to see more kids, the ones we had were having a great time and learning some great lessons.

Speaking of those lessons, we learned about Peter, called to leave a life of fishing and become a fisher of men.  We learned that even though he had no idea what that meant he left everything and followed Jesus, confident that if he was obedient, Jesus would take care of the rest.  What if we stopped measuring success in terms of numbers and started measuring it in terms of obedience?

Lord, forgive me for being a hypocrite.  Help me to see the world through your eyes, and to measure success and failure in terms of obedience and not in terms of numbers.

The Overweight Christian (Leader) | careynieuwhof.com

The Overweight Christian (Leader) | careynieuwhof.com

I love reading this guy's blog.  Usually I ask why didn't I think of that, on rare occasions I can say "why couldn't I have said it like that".  This post is one of these occasions. If you have been in or around our youth group you may remember the lesson we did after watching WALL-E.  This is what I was trying to say, only in fewer, far more carefully chosen words.

River of Life

I haven't blogged in a bit because I spent the last week at camp, and the time leading up to it getting ready.  I took our teens to serve for a week, and it was an incredible week.

I thought that they would learn and grow, but I had no idea what it would look like.

For some it was a matter of stretching their wings.  They served God all week long, letting Him love little ones through them. 

For others it was a matter of dealing with disappointment.  Having high expectations of yourself, and learning that "serving as unto the Lord" doesn't always have to mean perfect.  It is okay to forget your lines, to have no one respond to your gospel presentation, to be tired...  God wants all of our Heart Soul and Strength, but even when we lay it all out there, it isn't going to be perfect. (I wish I'd learned that in 8th grade)

Some of the teens seemed to go through a spiritual growth spurt this week.  Starting off with asking for forgiveness, and then finding the fruit of the spirit ripening before their very eyes.  I watched one young man struggle to serve kids even though as he often said "I don't even like kids".  I saw him learn patience with a little boy who peed his pants 4 times before lunch, learn self control when kids just wouldn't listen.  He even sought forgiveness from the children when he fell short.  I never expect this boy to become a man right before my eyes.

I spent an hour just listening to the sobs of one young lady who was convicted of sin.  I got to share 2nd Corinthians 7:10, "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regrets".  She wasn't able to speak the words, but she did write them out, confessing the sin, and later she sought forgiveness from the person she had wronged.  Watching her the rest of the week it was obvious that joy had replaced the anguish she had been feeling.

I had other long chats too.  One in which I forgot to speak the truth in love.  I spoke the truth, but I was angry at the behavior, and it was evident.  It was not righteous anger, it was man's anger, and I fear I may have lost my chance to help the students involved.  Apologies don't always work, sometimes the damage is done, and you loose the fragile trust you've been working to build.  When then happens you pray that God can work, and for another chance, and you realize that you can't always believe the compliments. I am a sinner, saved by grace, and far from perfect.

I also had a front row seat to watch a soon to be high school freshman become a leader, among the kids and among peers, showing wisdom beyond those tender years, and pointing others to Jesus.  MVP, Team Captain, Awesome.  I look forward to seeing what God will do with this life, and I am thankful to have a chance to serve with this amazing student.

The thing that meant the most to me though was my team.  I'm the only one who gets to do this for a living, but they gave freely of their time and talents.  It meant the world to have Leighanna there to help the teens adjust to camp life, and to help me get them focused on the tasks at hand.  Here ministry set the tone for the week.  When she left for her family vacation, Jenny arrived, and taught them what it means to work hard (after having worked hard all day herself).  She also loved them when they were tired and slightly unlovable and shared the truth with them in down to earth practical way only she can.  Nicole and David showed up at just the right time, were there when we had to deal with some teenage drama, and provided shoulders to cry on when two brothers got bad news about a loved one being rushed to the hospital.  Nicole assessed the problems several teens were facing with in minutes of arriving, and gave healthy doses of tough love where needed.  It was amazing to see Philip there, loving and serving the teens after putting in long hours on the construction site, having to leave for work before most of us were even awake and building into the group while I was busy dealing with the heart issues of an individual.  Never saw that coming when he was 12 and I was just learning how lead.

(you can see pictures and read othere stories from the week at camp at my othere blog: cbcbrewerteens.blogspot.com)

Ignorance is Bliss

Ignorance is Bliss.  Really that's not just a title, this is going to be one of those annoyingly introspective blog posts that you'll probably be glad you didn't read. If you aren't in that kind of mood, then you have my permission, no, blessing, to stop reading now...

A few years ago I took a very in depth personality profile through a program called Clarion, that a friend of mine takes people through. The primary goal of Clarion's assessment is to help people understand their own strengths and weaknesses, and what they bring to a team, so that they will be able work better as part of a team.  Parts of it are specifically geared to the church world, but the personality assessments were things I had learned about in psychology classes in college.  Clarion was one of the best things I ever could have done for my marriage, and I highly recommend it.  I would also recommend that any board or committee or ministry team go through the process.  It will revolutionize the way you interact.  If you are in New England and interested in learning more I can put you in touch with the friend who took me through it. 

One of the things Clarion assesses is how you handle being controlled.  Maybe managed is a better word. It came as no great shock that I value autonomy highly.  According to Clarion I don't have to be in control of others, but I really don't like being micro managed.  What it really comes down to is that I highly value being in control of my own outcomes. 


Recently I have learned that I really don't like being "out of the loop" when it comes to decisions being made around me.

Realizing this has forced some introspection.  Why is it that I can't be content with just doing the best I can with what I have been given?  Why do I feel the need to probe and push everything around me?  Clarion tells me that part of the reason is that I am what's called a "Change Agent".  Which may be a nice way of saying that I have the personality of "A person who can't leave well enough alone".  I prefer to think of it as "Challenger to the status quo".  To put into terms of another leadership book I read,  I'm more like the marine who takes the hill, than the guys who come in behind and set up artillery on it. 

I am coming to realize (or at least trying to realize) that ignorance is bliss, because when I stop trying to change everything around me I can focus on just changing what is in front of me.  Being faithful with a few things, rather than trying to leave my mark on everything.  This is helpful because I am also riddled with ADD... Perhaps it is possible that God intentionally has me out of the loop on certain things as a way of directing my focus to what He wants me to focus on.  A type of refinement through circumstances I would not have chosen. With that focus, I am able to move on from my typical "jack of all trades" type way of interacting with the world toward the excellence that is my ultimate goal. 

Thank you Lord, for putting up with me and my flawed ways of thinking.  Thank you for renewing my mind.  Help me to stay focused on the tasks you've called me to without meddling in the places that just don't need my "help".  Most of all thank you for your patience.

Journey (Part Three of Many)

A fact of life, an axiom if you will,  is that people behave according to what they believe. (not according to what they say they believe)  Case and point:  I can tell my wife I love her until I am breathless.  I can believe that I love my wife with all my heart, but until I understand what causes her to feel loved, and do that, she will not be loved. 

As Paul put it, if I can fathom all mysteries, and possess all knowledge but if I have not love, I gain nothing.

I desire to change, not just by reading, but by applying  what I have read.  I desire to do more than meet or listen to compelling individuals.  Instead I want to emulate those characteristics that I find compelling.  I want to filter what I find compelling through the scripture, and I want to know Christ, first by studying Him, then by walking  mile after mile in His sandals.  I want to live like He lived, selflessly, sacrificially  and focused solely on the glory of the Father.

I share this with you, not so that you will think I am wonderful, or spiritual, or intellectual.   I realize that there is always someone more wonderful you could be listening to, more spiritual that you could learn from, and certainly there are many more intellectual who could convey what I am trying to say in a more concise or articulate way.  I simply share these things with you because I appreciate what others have taken the time to write down and share with me. 

Journey (Part Two of Many)

There is a subtle but profound difference between being a student and being a disciple. 

A student accumulates and repeats information.  A disciple replicates behavior.   

Bear in mind, Christian, that we are not commanded to make students, but to make disciples.  Therefore we must be more than students ourselves.

Paul tells us in Romans 12 that transformation comes with the renewing of our mind.  When we stop being swept along by the flow of culture, the business of life, and the pattern of those around us, and become people who are desperate to understand the otherwise mysterious will of God.  Being a disciple isn't simply about seeking truth, but about seeking the source of truth.  Christian life isn't knowing about God, it is about knowing God, and imitating Him, like a child imitates a parent.  Belief is not intellectual assent.  It is far more agreement on a set of facts.  Belief is what we do with the information we have received.  

 

 

Knowing how to walk will not get me across a room, getting up and walking will.