Hope vs. Vision

In my quest to move and re-think, I like to read.  I read blogs, I read books, I subscribe to e-mail lists, and follow those who think differently on Facebook or YouTube.  One recent addition to my list is the Verge Network.  The basic premise of the folks at Verge is that God's idea for the church was not that it be a place that we go, but that church is a community of people with the same mission.  While most churches would agree with those words, the ways we live and the ways we operate tell the truth about what we really believe the church is all about.

Anyway, signing up for their e-mail news letter has given me access to a huge list of free e-books, one of which is called ,Righteous Brood', by Hugh Halter.  The e-mail discussing this free resource was particularly intriguing to me, and the book is only about 62 adobe reader pages long, so I set aside my Andy Stanley reading, and dove in.

At just about the half way point, Mr. Halter (who I occasionally disagree with) said something that really caught my attention.  He was talking about the difference between Hope and Vision.  Hopes, he argues, are "just emotional wishes that we hold out for.  Vision on the other hand is designed to actually change the future... Vision is the ability to see what God wants and move people toward His desired goal in any situation"

I've been having a hard time with certain things in life, and I've been asked about certain situations, whether or not I have hope.  Honestly I tend toward pessimism. Hope is something I have to work at.  When 1st Corinthians 13 tells me that "love always hopes" I cringe a little and know I have lots of room to grow.  But this quote resonates with me, because what I lack in hope, I make up for in Vision.  I may be a pessimist when it comes to where things are, or where they will be if nothing changes, but I am always ready with ideas for how to make them different.

Personally I think it is hard to share hope, without sharing vision.  When you tell a sick person 'I hope you feel better,' it is no where near as comforting as when their doctor says, 'here is the plan for how we are going to take you from sick to healthy.' One offers an "emotional wish" the other is "designed to actually change the future".  Which one actually offers hope?

I think James talked about this in his epistle, when he said "if a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking daily food, and one of you says to them, 'Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,' without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?"  Like empty words to an empty stomach is hope without vision.

So when we think of our kids, do we think, I hope they avoid tragedy, find a godly spouse, get a good job, settle into a safe neighborhood, find a good church etc.?  Do we step it up a notch and 'hope' they will take risks for God and make a difference in the world?  Or do we stop and think about how to make those things happen? Do we dare to ask God what his vision for our family is? Do we make the tough and uncomfortable choices that will result in those things becoming reality?

When we think of our churches, do we hope for unity, do we hope that people will act like a body, do we hope for more people to come to know Jesus, for lives to be changed, and the next generation to walk through the door? Or are we willing to come up with a vision that says, this is who we want to reach, this is how we plan to reach them, this is how we will disciple them, here are the steps that build faith, and here are some next steps each of us should be taking.

When we think of or marriages do we hope he will pick up his socks and she will make sure clean ones are mated? Do we hope for intimacy, for romance, for like-mindedness, and trust.  Or do we come up with a plan do build those things brick by brick, in sickness and in health, in riches and in poverty, for better or worse.

When I have vision I have hope.

Where there is no vision, people perish.

Sign Post 2

Carey's second sign that your church is ready to reach the unchurched is that "People in your church actually know unchurched people."

This one was a blind spot for me for a VERY long time.

Growing up I went to Christian School, and went to church.  My friends all came from one of those 2 places.  Now I work in an office full of Christians and I go to church, and most of my friends come from those places, other than that I am with my wife and kids

It is hard to be evangelistic when you live in a bubble, like I do.

I used to say that it was a matter of calling.  Some are called to plant seeds, and some are called to water them.  I shrugged of any discomfort with the lack of personal evangelism in my life by telling myself that I was called to water seeds.  Practically speaking, this meant that someone else brought them to church and I took it from there...

I compartmentalized the disciple making process.  Saw it less like a result of deep relationships and more like an assembly line.

To be sure we all have different roles to play.  God uses us as a body, and we all have different functions in the body.  A young man from our youth group recently decided to follow Jesus. His journey began when he saw the difference in two young ladies who made that decision a year earlier.  Curious about the changes in their lives, he asked them lots of questions.  When they didn't know the answers, they asked me questions, and shared the answers with him.  Eventually he came to a small group where one of our volunteers talked with him, then he had a conversation with one of the students he met at the small group, and during that conversation, made a decision to follow Jesus.  This is a beautiful picture of the body of Christ.  All kinds of different parts doing their work, resulting in eternal fruit.

A vital part of that process was two young ladies knowing an unchurched person.  They were light, in the world where God had them.  They lived out the scripture that tells us to "live such good lives among the pagans that they may see your good deeds and glorify your father who is in heaven".

We are told that a vital part of evangelism is to live our lives among the pagans.

So what do we do when we realize we are living in a bubble?

Well for me the answer is a wife who really understands this need to know and live among unchurched people.  She is intentional about making sure that we have people in our lives who aren't part of the bubble.  She gets uncomfortable in the bubble that is so natural for me.  Living among the unchurched is one of the big reasons she started working outside the home again. It if wasn't for her, this would have remained a major blind spot in my life.

If you find yourself in a bubble, I don't presume to know what specific steps God wants you to take.  I do know that  if we don't make knowing unchurched people a priority, then aren't really making the great commission a priority.

I Am So Selfish

Have you ever noticed how whatever uncomfortable thing you are going through seems to be the biggest problem in the world?  We can easily convince ourselves that no one has been through anything quite like what we are going through now. 

We recognize this in our kids.  Each bump or bruise, each time they don't get what they want, they react like the world is coming to an end.  They make the problem a million times bigger that what it really is. 

Let me give you an example.  My 2 year old fell and bruised his knee.  At first he cried loudly and told me that he was going to die.  Then he was convinced for 2 days that we needed to go to the doctor and get crutches for him.  In reality the bruise was smaller than a dime, and he can run, jump and play like he always has.

But don't we do the same thing?  Our perspective may be a bit bigger, so we focus on different issues.  But if the problem is on the higher end of what we have experienced, then we act like my 2 year old.  (or maybe this is just me)

Case and point.  My wife has been gone for 3 weeks.  Many people tell me I am crazy for letting her go, and know I am crazy when I tell them it was my idea that she go.  In the midst of this 3 week experience I've been overwhelmed with the playing the role of both dad and mom, and moving to a new home without her.  Even after all of the amazing help she gave by getting our move ready and arranging the schedule of baby sitters, I have been amazed at the difficulty of life without my spouse. Friends and family come up to me with concerned looks, ask me how I'm doing, cook meals for me like someone is in the hospital, men shake their heads and tell me they are terrified to have their wife gone for 3 hours, let alone 3 weeks...

Don't get me wrong I really appreciate the support.  More than words can say. My purpose is not to criticize anyone but myself.  This has been on the difficult fringe of my spectrum of experience.  But how does it compare to the experiences of others all around me.  When a member of the military deploys for months at a time, do I respond with the same amount of love and support people have shown  me?  My spouse is on a glorified vacation for almost a month, theirs will be at war for months at a time.  I have a new level of appreciation for our men and women in uniform, and a much deeper respect for those they leave behind.

But even as I think of them, there is another type of person who deserves more love and support from me.  When I think of the military spouse, I feel foolish for making my recent experience seem so harrowing. As much as I cannot imagine being a military spouse, it is even more impossible for me to imagine being a single parent.  I know my wife is coming back.  The military spouse has fear of the worst, but also has hope of the return of their loved one.  The single parent is alone. No one organizing the boxes, or the sitters before they leave, no one to e-mail or chat with once in a while.  No relief. 

I cannot even imagine. 

No wonder God tells us that true religion is to look after orphans and widows in their distress. 

So today, as I am just two and a half days from having my spouse back, I realize that I have been so selfish.  My eyes have been on what I don't have, rather than on all that God has given me. 

Lord, I pray that you will use this experience to open  my eyes to a knew level of loving the people around me.  That I will be able to get my eyes off myself and my problems, and focus on showing love to others who need love and support, who need someone to be Jesus to them.

Certifiably Justifiable...

Have you ever had one of those conversations * where you hear that you have come across in a way that you didn't intend to?  Have you ever said something, chuckled to yourself or smiled a certain way, and the other person takes umberidge, because they inferred an insult where none was implied. Then, because you didn't mean to offend, you try to explain yourself, to justify the smirk, or the comment, only to have the situation go from bad to worse?  Generally speaking I am not particularly flexible, but when it comes to putting my foot in my mouth, I am a master contortionist, finding new and interesting ways to perform this feat. (pun intended)

My most recent foot in mouth experience came during a recent car ride with my wife.  She said something, I smiled, she guessed what was running through my head, I didn't deny it, but tried to justify why I was thinking what I was thinking, and as I opened my mouth in went the foot.  Then I tried to justify why I had just put my foot in my mouth, and it went from bad to worse.

I put myself in time out and fumed.  I was right, wasn't I.  My smile was certainly justified.  My comments were accurate.  Why was she blowing up over the truth.  How is it my fault if she**  "Can't handle the truth"...  About that time I realized that although what was saying and thinking might have been true ***, it wasn't at all loving, and that's when it hit me.

Why do I try to justify myself?  I am terrible at it.  Why do I have this persistant desire, this need to be understood, to have people see my perspective, as if my perspective is something they cannot live without. ****

Jesus died to justify me.  I am justified by grace, through faith, not by works, so that no one can boast.  You see when I try to justify my opinion, to make someone understand me, I am in effect boasting.  Even if I have reason to boast, like being spot on with my insightful observation, if the result of that observation tears my wife down, rather than building her up, if it doesn't edify the person listening to me, it is sin. 

The Bible tells me that "knowledge puffs up, but love builds up."  I can judge the tree by its fruit, and when I try to usurp Jesus' place as my justifier, by arguing to make myself understood, the fruit is almost always pretty rotten. 

*(usually with your spouse, but not necessarily)
** (insert Jack Nicholson accent)
***(I say might because my wife would debate the validity of my argument)
**** (this from the guy blogging so that other people can read his perspective... can you say oxymoronical...)