To My Church Family

To my Church Family,

Most of us have only ever entered into two covenant relationships, marriage and church membership.  The emotions we will experience as we process our pastor’s resignation is akin to the trauma of divorce, and we will be hurting deeply for some time to come because of it.  But the same bond that makes this separation hurt so much, is also, by the grace of God, what can help us to overcome.  These pivotal circumstances have the potential to strengthen our faith, or to crush it, and I pray that we will come through this with a greater determination to live the lives Christ died for us to live.

As we travel this road, we will experience a wide range of emotion.  Some will feel relieved, some confused, others hurt, some will no doubt be angry, some of us will want to try to fix it, some of us will just withdraw, preferring not to deal with it, and some of us will try to pretend like it doesn't much matter...  As the stages of grief unfold, we may find ourselves frustrated with others whose responses to this difficulty are dramatically different than our own.  We must be careful to let every conversation we have be “full of grace, and seasoned with salt”.  In other words, we must make every effort to love each other through this, and to make sure that we focus on building each other up, not tearing each other down.

As we navigate these waters, let us remember the fundamental things that make faith grow:

• Practical Teaching:  We are losing a great teacher, and we will all need to find ways to fill the void.  Practical teaching don’t have to come from a stage on a Sunday Morning, grab a good book by Francis Chan, Andy Stanley, David Platt or some other Christian author who gives you practical advice on how to live the truth of the scripture and read, read, read.
• Private Disciplines: Faith grows when we commit ourselves to reading the word, to prayer, and to giving sacrificially.  This may be a good time to try fasting, even just skipping a meal to pray a few times a week, could have an amazing impact on your life and the life of our church.
• Personal Ministry:  The loss of a pastor means that there are big shoes to fill!  Many of us turn to him for advice, for counseling, and rely on his comfort when we are sick.  As a body we will have to fill the void by each of us digging deep and doing what we can to love and support each other. Remember that the normal means of communication may be down for a while, so when you have a need, find someone you trust and ask for help.
• Providential Relationships: The scripture is clear that the body grows as each part does its work, and it tells us that we need each other.  Now more than ever, invite people into your home, change your schedule to make time for fellowship, and let us encourage one another daily.  Use social media to check up on people, to ask how they are doing, and share the things from good books or scripture that are encouraging you.
• Pivotal Circumstances are the 5th thing on Andy Stanley’s list of what makes faith grow.  And this one is a double edged sword.  Pivotal circumstances and cripple our faith or make it stronger.  The key is how we deal with them. Deal with them by focusing on the things that make faith grow rather than on the the things that hurt or the things that divide.

Find just one or two people to meet with each week.  Commit to reading the same scripture, to praying for each other, to confessing sin to each other and to praying for people you love, who have not yet confessed Jesus as Lord. Keep the group extremely small, so that you don’t have to juggle schedules or worry about what someone will think.

The church is not a place we gather on Sundays. Biblically, we don’t find the concept that Christians “go to church”, instead we find as we read the Word that, “we are the church”.  We are not a body because we sing the same songs and hear the same sermons. We are a body only when we share the same mission, and the same strategy for carrying out that mission.  We don’t meet together to get a good encouraging feeling that will help us through the week, we meet together to spur each other on toward love and good deeds.  The good feelings will be different for a while, maybe even absent, but we can still spur each other on to run the race as if to win the prize.  

Beer With Jesus

It may come as a shock to some of you who know me, given that I've never had so much as a sip of beer, but I really like the song "Beer with Jesus", by Thomas Rhett.  (Confessing this will probably upset some of my friends who believe that Jesus turned water into "non-alcoholic wine" at the wedding in Cana.)

If you have never heard the song, you should take a listen.  Here is a link to the lyrics.

While the questions posed by the song may not reflect perfect theology, and they made not be the questions that a student of the word would ask, they do reflect a clear desire for a personal relationship with the Savior.

It also makes it clear that Jesus is approachable.  As I listen to the song I can't help but believe that Jesus would like nothing more than to sit down across a table from me, and chat. I don't think He'd mind sipping a beer.

But it's not the beer that intrigues me.  What makes this song so thought provoking is the idea of a corner table and a chance to have a private conversation with Jesus.  Like the singer, "I'd be sure to let Him do the talking," but I'd also have a plethora of questions I'd be "Careful when I got the chance to ask".

My favorite part of the song has to be that the most important question, the one that gets repeated over and over is, "How'd you turn the other cheek, to save a sorry soul like me?"  Of all the other questions I have, that one is really what matters.

We get caught up on whether or not Jesus would actually drink a beer, which church would he attend, who would he vote for, which side would he take on this debate or that debate? Could I sing this song at my church without having people walk out? But the critical question is one of forgiveness.  How does He manage to love a sorry soul like me so much that He forgives me time, after time, after time? 

If I could fully comprehend the depth of that love, how would it change me.  How would it change the way I love others?  Would all of the squabbles and divisions disappear?  Most importantly, how much more approachable would Jesus be to the world...

Unpopular

Have you ever made an unpopular decision because you believed it was the right decision?

Maybe you decided to do something your peers advised you not to to.  Maybe it was the other way around and everyone else was doing something, and you opted out...

I saw a quote the other day that went something like this "You have enemies, GOOD, that means you have stood up for something!"  The implication being that you can't take a stand and not make a few enemies along the way.  My question is, "Does it have to be that way?"

And if you've read my blog you know I'm opinionated, and that I take stands.

In my post "Controversial" I shared a link to a leadership blog, that challenges my thinking.  I then posted my thoughts on said blog in "Controversial II".  I'm an advocate for reading and contemplating ideas that challenge me.  If it wasn't for those challenges I'd be more inclined to coast, and less inclined to think about "The Why Behind the What". 

I think that when I make unpopular decisions, I'll be less incline to make enemies if I do a better job expressing the why behind the what. 

Let me try to explain.  One unpopular decision that I made months ago has come back to the surface recently.  As it does, I find myself wishing that I had done a better job explaining why I made the decision.  Even people that I consider friends, don't seem to understand, which means I did a lousy job explaining. After all, it is one thing to have someone be able to articulate why you made a decision and disagree with you, but it is poor leadership indeed if no one else can even articulate your reasons. 

A few posts ago, I blogged an apology, one that I had to make to several people directly, and that I made to my church as a whole. I did not apologize for what I had said, instead I apologized for how I said it.  I realized, as the result of a significant process, that 'how' you say what you say is as important as 'what' you say.  As I continue to unpack the lessons God has been teaching me, I am realizing more and more that 'why' you say what you say, may be even more important than 'how' or 'what' you say.

I think that is what Paul meant in 1 Corinthians 13.  When he said he could speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but it was meaning less without love.  He could fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, but it was empty without love. 

At this point in my process of learning and growing, I think that God made us with a deep need for truth, and an equally deep need to hear it from people to whom we relate.  I think this is the reason God became a man, not because he couldn't relate to us, but because we needed to know that he had experienced everything we experience.  It is easier to take advice from someone who has walked in your shoes.

I also think it is why the Scripture tells us that if our enemy is hungry, we should feed him and if he is thirsty we should give him a drink.  Too often I have ignored a problem or let sin go unaddressed because, "I don't have a strong enough relationship with that person to rebuke them".  Instead, when I see bad behavior, I should become aware of a heart need, and should dive into relationship with that person, so that they will be able to see the why behind the what, the love behind the rebuke, the compassion behind the correction, the way my children hopefully do.

It is certainly not popular to discipline a child (from the child's perspective anyway).  But the first thing my boys want after discipline is a hug.  I hope that is because they know how much I love them, and they want our relationship restored as soon as possible.  This reaction is missing from most of my interactions with adults.  When I have to say unpopular things to adults, (or when I hear unpopular things) the reaction is usually a desire for more distance in our relationship. 

Maybe this is because I haven't taken the time to demonstrate the why behind the what?

Maybe if I take the time to explain the why behind the what, if I make time to let people see my heart instead of just hearing my argument, then people will be able to trust me even when my decisions aren't popular, and I'll be able to take a stand without making enemies...

Unity

INTROSPECTION WARNING:  The following post is written to help the author organize his thoughts on the topic being discussed and to solicit feedback.  It is not intended to provide answers or solutions, nor is it intended as a complaint.

I teach a Parents Sunday School/Small Group at church. The curriculum we are using is designed to go a long with what the children are learning in their Small groups.  The idea is that we apply the Orange concept of "making it personal" so that we will be informed and equipped to reinforce at home what the kids are learning in church.

Sunday we were challenged by 1st John 4:7-14.  The bottom line was "God showed the world His love when He sent Jesus; How will you show His love to the world?

In preparing to facilitate the discussion, I got to thinking, how do we show Jesus' love to the world?

All month we have been talking in our group about compassion.  We define compassion as 'caring enough to do something about someone else's need'. 

God saw our deepest need; forgiveness from sin. He did something about it; sent Jesus.

Jesus entrusted His ministry of reconciliation to us.

Just before He died Jesus prayed:  "As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world. For their sakes I sanctify Myself, that they themselves also may be sanctified in truth. I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word;  that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me. The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one; I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me." 

 John 17:18-23 NASB

Jesus said that the world would know the love of God when Christians are united.

Survey 100 people on the street.  Ask them what the first word that pops into their head is when they hear the word "Christian".  I would be shocked if you could find one who said "Unity".  Survey 100 people in your church, ask them to tell you the first think that pops in to their heads when they think of your church, I wonder if unity would make that list either.  If this were family feud the answer that Jesus seemed to think should be #1, might not even be on the board. 

Every church has lost someone when they decided to do something, be it the style of music, the length of the sermon, the color of the carpet or the brand of coffee used at get-togethers... It seems the one thing that defines churched people is our ability to part ways. 

And no I haven't attend the same church all of my life.  I've moved from one to the next 3 times in the last 10 years, and not one change was because I moved to a different city.  If I am pointing any fingers rest assured that 3 are pointed back at me, and I know it.  I don't want the cycle to continue.

I am the same guy who just posted, just yesterday, about Jonah, and the need to "throw someone overboard for the good of the ship".  I believe Martin Luther did the right thing when he posted his '95 Thesis' on the door of his church, and that God blessed the ministries of both Paul and Barnabas when they parted ways over John Mark. 

I'm not sure perfect unity is something we can grasp (and I'm not sure that it isn't). After all the apostle who said "No doubt there have to be differences among you to show which of you have God's approval" Also said "I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought" (in the same book!)

So if Jesus said that Unity would be the thing that let the world see God's love, then my question is how do we (me, you, and everyone else who claims Jesus as Lord) make unity priority #1.