More Eloquent

If you were intrigued by the Big Red Tractor story, then carve out 45 minutes to check out this video of a message Francis Chan gave at the Verge Conference.

I love the point he makes, that if we just opened the Bible without centuries of tradition, we would not do church the way we do it.

I admire the humility with which he says that he and his church haven't figured out how to fix that, but they are working on it.

I am challenged by the idea, that if what we read in Acts was "they met together once a week, sang songs and someone taught, and the next week they did it again" instead of all of the radical commitment, and sacrifice we read about, then no one would have believed their message.

I am intrigued by the surfing analogy he uses, because I have spent so much time kicking trying to create a wave, rather than keeping instep with the Spirit.

I am sick in my stomach when he makes the comparison between how his daughter would treat his command to clean her room, and how we treat Jesus' commands, because I've spent more time memorizing and studying than going and doing, by a ratio of about 10 to 1.

What did you take away?

The Big Red Tractor

One of the blogs that helps me Re-Think is the Verge Network, and they recently posted some challenging content from Francis Chan.  I wanted to pass it along to you.

First is a short video called "The Parable of the Big Red Tractor" Take 5 minutes to watch the video and hear a short explanation from the author.

I have been one of those villagers pushing for all he is worth on the tractor...

To My Church Family

To my Church Family,

Most of us have only ever entered into two covenant relationships, marriage and church membership.  The emotions we will experience as we process our pastor’s resignation is akin to the trauma of divorce, and we will be hurting deeply for some time to come because of it.  But the same bond that makes this separation hurt so much, is also, by the grace of God, what can help us to overcome.  These pivotal circumstances have the potential to strengthen our faith, or to crush it, and I pray that we will come through this with a greater determination to live the lives Christ died for us to live.

As we travel this road, we will experience a wide range of emotion.  Some will feel relieved, some confused, others hurt, some will no doubt be angry, some of us will want to try to fix it, some of us will just withdraw, preferring not to deal with it, and some of us will try to pretend like it doesn't much matter...  As the stages of grief unfold, we may find ourselves frustrated with others whose responses to this difficulty are dramatically different than our own.  We must be careful to let every conversation we have be “full of grace, and seasoned with salt”.  In other words, we must make every effort to love each other through this, and to make sure that we focus on building each other up, not tearing each other down.

As we navigate these waters, let us remember the fundamental things that make faith grow:

• Practical Teaching:  We are losing a great teacher, and we will all need to find ways to fill the void.  Practical teaching don’t have to come from a stage on a Sunday Morning, grab a good book by Francis Chan, Andy Stanley, David Platt or some other Christian author who gives you practical advice on how to live the truth of the scripture and read, read, read.
• Private Disciplines: Faith grows when we commit ourselves to reading the word, to prayer, and to giving sacrificially.  This may be a good time to try fasting, even just skipping a meal to pray a few times a week, could have an amazing impact on your life and the life of our church.
• Personal Ministry:  The loss of a pastor means that there are big shoes to fill!  Many of us turn to him for advice, for counseling, and rely on his comfort when we are sick.  As a body we will have to fill the void by each of us digging deep and doing what we can to love and support each other. Remember that the normal means of communication may be down for a while, so when you have a need, find someone you trust and ask for help.
• Providential Relationships: The scripture is clear that the body grows as each part does its work, and it tells us that we need each other.  Now more than ever, invite people into your home, change your schedule to make time for fellowship, and let us encourage one another daily.  Use social media to check up on people, to ask how they are doing, and share the things from good books or scripture that are encouraging you.
• Pivotal Circumstances are the 5th thing on Andy Stanley’s list of what makes faith grow.  And this one is a double edged sword.  Pivotal circumstances and cripple our faith or make it stronger.  The key is how we deal with them. Deal with them by focusing on the things that make faith grow rather than on the the things that hurt or the things that divide.

Find just one or two people to meet with each week.  Commit to reading the same scripture, to praying for each other, to confessing sin to each other and to praying for people you love, who have not yet confessed Jesus as Lord. Keep the group extremely small, so that you don’t have to juggle schedules or worry about what someone will think.

The church is not a place we gather on Sundays. Biblically, we don’t find the concept that Christians “go to church”, instead we find as we read the Word that, “we are the church”.  We are not a body because we sing the same songs and hear the same sermons. We are a body only when we share the same mission, and the same strategy for carrying out that mission.  We don’t meet together to get a good encouraging feeling that will help us through the week, we meet together to spur each other on toward love and good deeds.  The good feelings will be different for a while, maybe even absent, but we can still spur each other on to run the race as if to win the prize.  

Hope vs. Vision

In my quest to move and re-think, I like to read.  I read blogs, I read books, I subscribe to e-mail lists, and follow those who think differently on Facebook or YouTube.  One recent addition to my list is the Verge Network.  The basic premise of the folks at Verge is that God's idea for the church was not that it be a place that we go, but that church is a community of people with the same mission.  While most churches would agree with those words, the ways we live and the ways we operate tell the truth about what we really believe the church is all about.

Anyway, signing up for their e-mail news letter has given me access to a huge list of free e-books, one of which is called ,Righteous Brood', by Hugh Halter.  The e-mail discussing this free resource was particularly intriguing to me, and the book is only about 62 adobe reader pages long, so I set aside my Andy Stanley reading, and dove in.

At just about the half way point, Mr. Halter (who I occasionally disagree with) said something that really caught my attention.  He was talking about the difference between Hope and Vision.  Hopes, he argues, are "just emotional wishes that we hold out for.  Vision on the other hand is designed to actually change the future... Vision is the ability to see what God wants and move people toward His desired goal in any situation"

I've been having a hard time with certain things in life, and I've been asked about certain situations, whether or not I have hope.  Honestly I tend toward pessimism. Hope is something I have to work at.  When 1st Corinthians 13 tells me that "love always hopes" I cringe a little and know I have lots of room to grow.  But this quote resonates with me, because what I lack in hope, I make up for in Vision.  I may be a pessimist when it comes to where things are, or where they will be if nothing changes, but I am always ready with ideas for how to make them different.

Personally I think it is hard to share hope, without sharing vision.  When you tell a sick person 'I hope you feel better,' it is no where near as comforting as when their doctor says, 'here is the plan for how we are going to take you from sick to healthy.' One offers an "emotional wish" the other is "designed to actually change the future".  Which one actually offers hope?

I think James talked about this in his epistle, when he said "if a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking daily food, and one of you says to them, 'Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,' without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?"  Like empty words to an empty stomach is hope without vision.

So when we think of our kids, do we think, I hope they avoid tragedy, find a godly spouse, get a good job, settle into a safe neighborhood, find a good church etc.?  Do we step it up a notch and 'hope' they will take risks for God and make a difference in the world?  Or do we stop and think about how to make those things happen? Do we dare to ask God what his vision for our family is? Do we make the tough and uncomfortable choices that will result in those things becoming reality?

When we think of our churches, do we hope for unity, do we hope that people will act like a body, do we hope for more people to come to know Jesus, for lives to be changed, and the next generation to walk through the door? Or are we willing to come up with a vision that says, this is who we want to reach, this is how we plan to reach them, this is how we will disciple them, here are the steps that build faith, and here are some next steps each of us should be taking.

When we think of or marriages do we hope he will pick up his socks and she will make sure clean ones are mated? Do we hope for intimacy, for romance, for like-mindedness, and trust.  Or do we come up with a plan do build those things brick by brick, in sickness and in health, in riches and in poverty, for better or worse.

When I have vision I have hope.

Where there is no vision, people perish.

A New Blog I am Following

In my never ending quest to move and rethink, I like to read about leaders who are pushing past the status quo, and seeing what God is doing in ministries where tradition is seen as an enemy of transformation.

One of those ministries is Connexus Church just outside of Tornoto Canada.  I recently started following Jeff Brodie's blog, in which he shares from his experiences helping to design a church that is reaching people in a country where church attendance is around 10%.  His recent series of posts has been on the importance of not just how we do church, but how we decide how we do church.  Having grown up and served in congregational models all of my life I find his ideas to be so far outside my box that part of me thinks they must be fiction.

Take  look at this post, and tell me what you think

Thoughts on Spiritual Growth

I was recently asked, what steps I think lead to spiritual maturity.  I sent that response as an e-mail to the friend who asked, and figured it might make a good blog post.  After all I use this blog for things that I want to get feedback on and for things that I want to continually "rethink".  So please help me "re-think" any of this that needs to be refined.

As I see it, all spiritual growth results from one of the following: (please note that this list is not original it comes from Andy Stanley's book "Deep and Wide")  Practical Teaching, Private Disciplines, Personal Ministry, Providential Relationships, Pivotal Circumstances.

Practical Teaching:  Not just teaching, but teaching with "next steps".  A sermon that leaves you, not just more enlightened, but one that gives you practical ideas for how to be different because of what you've just heard. This kind of teaching can come from a stage, be heard over the radio (or Internet), or be found in the pages of a book.  It can be heard live with hundreds of people, or projected onto a video screen in a small group, or consumed privately.

 Private Disciplines: Reading the scripture, prayer, fasting, and giving.  All of these have the potential to grow our faith.

Personal Ministry:  Our bodies cannot be healthy simply by eating the right food, we have to pair diet with exercise for optimal health.  So it is with our spirit.  We have to be engaged in the unique ministry, the "good works" that Ephesians 2 says God prepared beforehand that we would walk in them.

Providential Relationships: This is where the body comes in.  We all need people in our lives that we can learn from, who can mentor us, who we can mentor.  There will be people in our lives that inspire us, and people who are negative examples.  We need people to spur us on toward love and good deeds, and to sharpen us, as iron sharpens iron.

Pivotal Circumstances: This is not one that the church can create, as much as it can shape our response.  I love the way Roger (our pastor) takes current events and give us a Christian/Biblical filter for them.  We will all have pivotal circumstances in our lives, death, divorce, injury, illness, financial troubles, and the like.  How we respond to these circumstances can impact our faith. Do we see tragic circumstances and decide that a loving God could not let such a thing happen, or do we see the evidence of God working all things for good?

These ideas are extremely well articulated in Andy Stanley's book "Deep and Wide", and while I've taken the "P's" (words in bold) from his book, these are ideas that I have been working to refine and articulate for years, which is why they resonate with me so deeply. 

I know you wanted my personal opinion, so the following ideas are strictly mine.  I think that as we look through scripture we can see the following pattern emerge for how God works in a life: He Planned for us, He created us, He pursued us, He makes us new, He equips us, He inspires us, He Works through us.  This pattern is similar to what we see in Romans 8:29-30.  As we try to do for others as Jesus did for us, I think we, as individuals or as a church, can follow the same pattern.

Plan: God foreknew us, before he did anything else.  We should take time to get to know who we want a ministry, or our entire church, to reach.  If a church wants to start a ministry that is going to help feed hungry people, shouldn't we get to know some hungry people and find out what they need?  Shouldn't we read everything we can about hunger and poverty, and shouldn't we study what is working to combat those needs?  Just an example... 

Create: God had his plan for salvation in place before he created us.  After his plan was in place, he set about putting into action.  This is of course a vital second step.  It is not enough to simply read, and study how to minister to a particular group, we must actually take action, and be doer's of what we have learned.

Pursue: Even God wasn't content to sit in heaven and let His creation speak for itself, He walked with Adam and Eve in the Garden, He took on flesh and became human, he whispered to Elijah, he made a covenant with Abraham, he met Paul on the road to Damascus.  Likewise, if we want to minister to people, we need to walk in their shoes, and become available to life life beside them, rather than simply program for them/to them/at them.  When children's ministry worked well in our church, it was because the volunteers were passionate about the kids and were not content to simply meet with them once a week, they followed up with home visits, and invited them into their own homes, took them out for ice cream, remembered their birthdays, and made their lives, (not just small slivers of their schedules) available.

Made New:  Okay, only God can do this, but we need to remember that all of the relationships and programs in the world don't matter if the person never sees past us to Jesus.  Keeping this on the list of our necessary steps, keeps us focused on the goal of making as certain as possibe that the person were are ministering too experiences the life transformation that Paul spoke of in 2nd Corinthians 5:17.  This is the midpoint in the timeline, the cornerstone, of all of any ministry. we long for that moment when someone will be made knew in Christ.

Equip: This is where I observe most churches having the most difficulty.  What do we do after someone is made knew in Christ?  It is as if we had a clear plan for how to get them into the kingdom, but don't know what do with them once they are in.  Really that's kinda backwards.  Being in the kingdom we should know what kingdom life looks like, but we seem confused...  I think this is because we tend look at salvation as the end goal, when in reality it is only the beginning.  We have this "okay God I got them this far, now they have the Holy Spirit, so you can take it from here..." attitude.  I also think that strategically equipping a whole church full of people is difficult because this is where our ministries tend to begin to overlap.  Instead of just being involved in the one thing or with the one person that moved them toward Christ, the new believer is now expected to be a part of the general church body, and the transition from the kiddie pool to the deep end is often overlooked.  This is makes strategy and unity between departments so critical.  This is why I love Andy Stanley's 5 P's from earlier. They are the steps that transform us from newborn faith to mature faith, a faith that will survive the scorching sun and the choking weeds.  We are equipped through Practical Teaching, Private disciplines, Personal Ministry, Providential Relationships, and Pivotal Circumstances. 

Inspire: As we experience different avenues of personal ministry, we have opportunities to see what work in the kingdom makes us come alive, and to move closer and closer to discovering out what those unique good works are that God created just us to do.  I fully believe that God has a specific, unique purpose for each of us, and that we have the privilege of finding out what it is.  The more faithful we are with the "5P's" listed above, the more He entrusts to us. Like the word says, "you have been faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things".  The goal is to have each Christian reach a place where as Paul said, "I am compelled to preach, woe to me if I do not preach the gospel" they can say "I am compelled to ____________, woe to me if I do not __________."

Use: Thus transformed, equipped and inspired, we can produce a crop yielding 30, 60 or 100 times what was sown.  This is the part where we are "God's fellow workers" and "Christ's Ambassadors". This is my definition of maturity.  Someone who knows what they are called to do, is passionate about doing it, and is always striving to do it better for the Glory of God.

Remember this was an e-mail to a friend, so I understand if the context is hazy for someone just joining the conversation.  Don't hesitate to ask lots of questions.

Thoughts from the Orange Conference - Church Leaders

This is the 4th and final installment of my "thoughts from the Orange Conference".  Today I am focused on the lessons that I took away as someone who has been in church leadership, and someone who knows how vital having the support of church leadership is to the future of ministry.  Remember these are bullet points.  If you want details you'll have to post a comment.

• People won’t believe they are significant until they are given something significant to do.
• It is better to be excellent at two things than it is to have something for everyone.
• Each hour you spend developing a team of leaders (or parents) is an hour in which you have actually multiplied your influence.  Your one hour turns in to 5, as each individual takes what you taught and practices it.
• Refining or adding programs only makes us more yellow.  It actually moves the church away from being Orange.  Going Orange will require you to let Red (families) have influence in your ministry, and may require doing less, so that Red will have time and energy to do more.
• Have a volunteer tell a ‘messy’ ministry story on video and follow it up with “I am __________, and I volunteer with ___________, because______________”.
• When someone complains about a ministry, a leader’s first response should be “you obviously aren't volunteering there,” then be ready to share at least one “win” from each ministry.
• If you can’t identify a win for a ministry, it is time to cut it or at least prune it.
• Guard the gates.  Not everyone who wants to be a leader (teacher, committee member, small group leader, or any kind of volunteer) should be.  Filtering and evaluating leaders requires creating criteria for leadership.  Look at your best leaders/volunteers to identify those criteria.
• Guard the Gates.  Not every program or ministry idea will actually help you accomplish your mission.  Have criteria by which you evaluate each ministry (new or existing)
• Inspire trust by communicating, being available, and only doing what you can do with excellence.
• It is easier to run ministry around parents than it is to run ministry through relationships with them.  Partnering with parents will require deep commitment and constant attention, as it runs counter to our deeply established church culture
• Design a take away (application) for insiders and one for outsiders into everything you do.
• Determine to reach outsiders through insiders (ie through people, not through programs)
• Be purposeful about connecting outsiders to insiders
• Rely most on the feedback of outsiders, it is easy to fall into the trap of just listening to those who like what you are doing, but that will lead you into ruts or stagnation, you will need to constantly get input from new voices if you are going to keep your approach fresh.
• Don’t box the next generation of leaders into certain methods.

This concludes the thoughts from the Orange Conference.  I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

Thoughts from the Orange Conference - Students

Part 3 of my thoughts from the Orange Conference.  These are some bullet points of ideas that I'd like to plug into my ministry to teens.  Keep in mind that these are just bullet points, and don't hesitate to ask questions if anything is unclear.

• The 4G gospel – we were created “Good” and of great worth to God.  “Guilt” from our sin separates us from that goodness and from God.  “Grace” inspired God to send Jesus to make a way for our relationship with God to be reconciled, and it is “Gratitude” for what God has done that motivates us to turn from evil do good.
• Set specific goals for each year (ie for the freshmen, for the sophomores, etc…) and communicate those goals to each student, mentor and parent.
• Connect them to service, not to a person or a program.  People and programs can be taken away, but if they learn to love God through serving others, they can build new relationships and programs.
• Match-make inter-generational partnerships 1 at a time.
• Provide them with specific actions they can take to be missionaries at school
• Invite them to invite others
• Don’t just assimilate them into the youth ministry; assimilate them out of it as well.
• When it comes to your program Only do what you can do with excellence
• When it comes to relationships remember that God is more interested in your availability than in your ability.
• Teach them how to study the bible; don’t just tell them to do it.  For starters try this: “Pray, Read, Think, Write, Pray.”  Pray – that you will understand what you are about to read, Read – keep it small enough to digest, Think of something you can do with what you've read, Write it down (no longer than a tweet or Facebook status), Pray – that God will help you practice what you've read.
• Give them goals then can attain.  (one example- Going from 0 bible study to 7 days a week would be great, but they may feel like failures if they don’t meet that, shoot for 4 days for starters, and work up from there)
• Remember that the lesson isn't over until it has been applied
• Teach their parents about grace – teen years are when they should be transitioning from doing what is right out of guilt (or fear of punishment) to doing it out of gratitude for the Grace God showed them when he sent Jesus.  Grace will need to be modeled in the home.
• Change the gauge of success – from results to steps.  (one example: rather than how many friends have gotten saved, to how many times you shared your testimony.)
• Students won’t believe they are significant until they are given something significant to do.

Thoughts from the Orange Conference - Parents

Part two of my thoughts from the Orange Conference.  These bullet points represent the ideas and inspiration from the conference that relate to how I interact with the parents of the teens I work with, but also how I try to help the parents in our church take a more active role in partnering with the church to fulfill the great commission.

• Ask parents why they personally need the church.
• Ask parents “what would make the church such an indispensable part of your life that you would beg your friends to give it a try?”
• Take a video of each parent saying “I am ___________, I am a parent and I partner with the church because _____________.”
• Think: Going orange isn't about refining or adding programs.  Adding programs is how you go more yellow.  Going Orange requires the church to elevate the red.
• Think: What if going orange doesn't mean obligating families to another program or night out, but showing red that we believe that they are essential to the strategy of the church.
• Think: in terms of empowering red, rather than instructing it.
• Build relationships of trust with parents by communicating, by excellence, by connecting them to a small group leader, by creating opportunities for parents and kids to make memories together, by pointing them to resources, by planning some of your teaching based on their input, and by being available to give guidance.
• Ask parents what faith skills they need help teaching their kids, plan your ministries around these felt needs, and parents will be much more likely to partner with you.
• Partner with parents to create a list of annual spiritual mile stones (steps) for their kids from cradle to college, plan your ministry around these, and review them frequently.
• Provide a visual that will help us all remember that the days we have with kids are numbered.
• Match-make partnerships and inter-generational relationships for kids, and for parents.
• Remember that vision fades with age.  Ask the next generation what they need in order to be ministers to their peers.

Now hopefully something you just read inspired or intrigued you.  If so, please post a comment so we can talk.

Sign Post 1

Today we will examine the first of Carey’s signs that your church is ready to reach unchurched people.

Carey Writes:  [the first sign that your church is ready to reach the unchurched is] Your main services engage teenagers: I've talked with many church leaders who want to reach unchurched people who can’t understand why unchurched people don’t like their church. They would be stumped until I asked them one last question: do the teens in your church love your services and want to invite their friends? As soon as I asked that question, the leader’s expression would inevitably change. He or she would look down at the floor and say ‘no’. Here’s what I believe: if teens find your main services (yes, the ones you run on Sunday mornings) boring, irrelevant, and disengaging, so will unchurched people. As a rule, if you can design services that engage teenagers, you've designed a church service that engages unchurched people.

Is he really advocating that we should want our main church service to be so shallow, and superficial that a narcissistic teenager would actually enjoy coming to church?

Maybe, but I think his point is that we should re-think who it is that attends our largest gatherings.

Freshman lectures at college have the largest attendance, as the course work gets more technical, more detailed, more advanced, the class sizes get smaller and smaller.

In the church we tend to do the opposite.  We offer intro level stuff in small groups, and intermediate and advance stuff to our largest audience.

Fixing this does not mean that we water down the message. Scripture is clear that the spiritual menu consists of both milk and solid food. I may prefer a good steak, but I will not deny the nutritional value of milk.

I will deny the nutritional value of Kool-aid. 

But what if the mature crowd were to gather, not because they want a steak, because they have a deep desire to carry out the great commission:  Go into all the world and make disciples.

What if this group of Christians, fully capable of grilling solid food in their own back yards all week long, comes together each week intent on using their combined gifts to reach those who do not yet know Christ.

This group of people would remind you that salvation requires that we deny ourselves and follow Jesus. 

Jesus, whose life they are trying to imitate, gave up the comforts of heaven and took on the nature of a servant, for the sake of an unchurched world. 

Thus, to them, aiming to engage on the level of the teenager no longer seems stupid, shallow or superficial.  

The Missing Ingredient...

In my last post, "Not Everything Is Beneficial", I wrote about how I feel like I have a lesson to learn. I was intentionally vague, but I think I have learned a few things, so here is an update.

I was preparing to teach Sunday School over the weekend, (our parent's group talks about what our kids are learning and how we can apply those lessons on an adult level) so I was reviewing the preschool and elementary curriculum. The elementary kids were going to be learning about Ruth, and how she determined to help Naomi even when it was difficult, while the preschoolers would be learning that God forgives us for our bad choices, from the story of the sinful woman who washed Jesus' feet. Putting the two side by side I saw something that has been missing from my well intentioned, but not so well received, interactions: Compassion.

Jesus had a heart full of compassion for the woman who washed his feet, no matter what she had done. When he wanted some alone time after finding out his cousin had been beheaded, the crowds followed him. Rather than turn them away, he had compassion on them. Looking toward Jerusalem during the journey that would lead to his crucifixion, he longed to gather her children together like a hen gathering chicks under her wings... He tackled problems and dealt with messy people, but had great compassion.

(Note: There was also a time for flipping over tables, and calling religious leaders vipers... But Jesus had the discernment to know what emotional state would be most edifying in each situation)

So, here is some of the context that brought me to this place of learning... I installed a new computer network for my employer. It was a much needed upgrade, the first in 14 years, which is an eternity in the computing world. Installation was a challenge, as I have never done this kind of work before, but installation was nothing compared to helping people who had done things the same way for a decade and a half over the learning curve.

So much was new and different and they were all overwhelmed. There was also the issue of the backlog that was created at my desk while I spent weeks as an IT guy instead of being a paralegal. The first few days I was patient and understanding, genuinely believing in all the good things that the updated system would do for my employers and coworkers. Then after 3 days of feeling like I had repeated myself over and over, while getting little to none of my own work done, I started getting exasperated. I was short and to the point, instead of cheerful. Rather than extolling the virtues of the new system, or helping people get excited about the changes, I accomplished the task as quickly as possible and moved on. I had surgical precision, but terrible bedside manner. Everyone else who was already struggling with the changes now had to deal with my lack of compassion. The person they were looking to for help, for comfort in their distress, was surly and short with them. Pleas for help turned into complaints, and my assistance was shunned...

My "Aha" moment came when I realized that I have done the same thing at my church...

I was put in charge of some long overdue upgrades to an old system, and helping people through the transition was something that I did with great joy... at first. But as weeks of transition turned into months, and as I ran out of was to rephrase the information, I transitioned from joyful to surgical, from compassionate to precise, from patient to edgy, from pleasant to blunt...

It took the trustworthy wounds of multiple friends to get through to me that my manner was damaging the message. People that were hesitant to accept help or transition from cheerful Charlie, were never going to accept it from grumpy Charlie. There may have been some places along the way where some tables needed to be flipped, or some things needed to be called out, but I had gotten stuck in table flipping mode, and was giving off an attitude that said, "I'll try being nicer when you try being smarter". Thus my suggestions, no matter how precise or accurate I may have thought they were, became something unedifying, because of the emotions with which they were conveyed.

To sum my learning thus far: Basically, it is not just what I say, but how I say it. It is not just my motivation, but the emotions I convey. If I can't bring all the pieces together (why, how, attitude and emotional state) it may be best to wait, pray, double check my own eyes for logs and respond when I can do so with the shrewdness of a serpent and the innocence of a dove.

That is not to say that I am done learning on this topic, but I think I have figured out part of the equation. Now I am looking forward to refining this, putting it into practice, and reconciling with some people I have offended.

I am also looking forward to your feedback.

Unity

INTROSPECTION WARNING:  The following post is written to help the author organize his thoughts on the topic being discussed and to solicit feedback.  It is not intended to provide answers or solutions, nor is it intended as a complaint.

I teach a Parents Sunday School/Small Group at church. The curriculum we are using is designed to go a long with what the children are learning in their Small groups.  The idea is that we apply the Orange concept of "making it personal" so that we will be informed and equipped to reinforce at home what the kids are learning in church.

Sunday we were challenged by 1st John 4:7-14.  The bottom line was "God showed the world His love when He sent Jesus; How will you show His love to the world?

In preparing to facilitate the discussion, I got to thinking, how do we show Jesus' love to the world?

All month we have been talking in our group about compassion.  We define compassion as 'caring enough to do something about someone else's need'. 

God saw our deepest need; forgiveness from sin. He did something about it; sent Jesus.

Jesus entrusted His ministry of reconciliation to us.

Just before He died Jesus prayed:  "As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world. For their sakes I sanctify Myself, that they themselves also may be sanctified in truth. I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word;  that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me. The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one; I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me." 

 John 17:18-23 NASB

Jesus said that the world would know the love of God when Christians are united.

Survey 100 people on the street.  Ask them what the first word that pops into their head is when they hear the word "Christian".  I would be shocked if you could find one who said "Unity".  Survey 100 people in your church, ask them to tell you the first think that pops in to their heads when they think of your church, I wonder if unity would make that list either.  If this were family feud the answer that Jesus seemed to think should be #1, might not even be on the board. 

Every church has lost someone when they decided to do something, be it the style of music, the length of the sermon, the color of the carpet or the brand of coffee used at get-togethers... It seems the one thing that defines churched people is our ability to part ways. 

And no I haven't attend the same church all of my life.  I've moved from one to the next 3 times in the last 10 years, and not one change was because I moved to a different city.  If I am pointing any fingers rest assured that 3 are pointed back at me, and I know it.  I don't want the cycle to continue.

I am the same guy who just posted, just yesterday, about Jonah, and the need to "throw someone overboard for the good of the ship".  I believe Martin Luther did the right thing when he posted his '95 Thesis' on the door of his church, and that God blessed the ministries of both Paul and Barnabas when they parted ways over John Mark. 

I'm not sure perfect unity is something we can grasp (and I'm not sure that it isn't). After all the apostle who said "No doubt there have to be differences among you to show which of you have God's approval" Also said "I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought" (in the same book!)

So if Jesus said that Unity would be the thing that let the world see God's love, then my question is how do we (me, you, and everyone else who claims Jesus as Lord) make unity priority #1.

Maybe We Need a Little Controversy

Once again Carey says what's on my mind in ways I can't. 

http://careynieuwhof.com/2012/12/why-you-should-create-discontent-in-your-organization/

I only wish I had learned his suggestions for how to do this in an edifying way 2 years ago.

For anyone who may have been hurt by the way I went about leading, I sincerly appologize.  This was my heart.

Is This Your Church?

I stumbled across B.A.D.D., a Christian drama company, when I was looking for good illustrations for a youth group message.  They did some great modernized versions of Jesus' parables, that really connected with the students.  I hadn't been back to see what they'd been up to on YouTube in a while.  I had a few good laughs this afternoon while "catching up" with them.  Then I came across this video.

Not sure what you think, but I laughed, I was offended, I was convicted, I was disgusted, and I was left wondering how this happens.

This Kicked my Butt.

I sat down with my coffee, to enjoy a little reading before starting my day at the office.  To my great delight, there was a post from my favorite blogger.  It was even on a topic that I am really wrestling with.  I thought to myself, "Pumpkin coffee and and a Carey Nieuwhof post on leadership, a perfect start to my morning". 

Then I read the post and got my butt kicked.  I hope you enjoy, and are challenged.

http://careynieuwhof.com/2012/09/the-number-one-reason-you-and-the-people-you-lead-dont-change/

Sundays are for Football...

The following is an excerpt from Reggie Joiner's book "Zombies Football and the Gospel"

I don't think most churches should simply stop doing what they are doing. 

Twenty-five percent of people are coming.  A lot of churches are doing great work with a host of people.  And a lot of people are happy about it.

We love our churches, and people who love church need churches they love. - All 25% of us.

I am just wondering about the rest of the people... The 75%

Not the people who will show up at church one day, but the people who will NEVER show up.  Either they left or they never came to begin with...

Don't miss this shift.  25% of people will be in church this Sunday - the rest think Sundays are for football.

What if you stopped counting the people who come to your church every Sunday and started counting the people in your community who don't?

Don't count those who attend, count those who are absent.

What were we going to do about them?  We are great at doing church for people who already go to church and even for those who will go one day.  But what can we do to connect with the people who will never go?

They think Sunday is for football.
or they are among the 15% who check "none" for religious preference (it is up from 8% in 1990)
or they are among the 35% who have to work or travel on Sundays.
The 75% who will never have the desire to walk into a building on a bright Sunday morning to listen to a band, or a choir, or a sermon.

Jesus said to leave the 99% to go find the one, maybe we can stop thinking about the 25 long enough to brainstorm ideas to reach the 75%.

Have we forgotten how to be missionaries in our own communities?

Every Sunday, we pass people who will never go to church with us or with anybody else.

Is our primary goal to get them to come to a building from nine to noon on a Sunday?  Is there only invitation to the Gospel going to happen because we ask them to stand up in front of a room full of strangers?

What if church, the way we have defined it, will never work for them?  It may work for 25 out of 100, but what about the rest? As far as they are concerned, Sundays are for football...