Another Sabbatical Update

The Sabbatical continues, but feel like I am starting to learn some of the lessons I need to learn. 

I am getting into a better rhythm of spending time in the Word, and have enjoyed unpacking Acts, Romans and Corinthians.  One of the high points of my week is Thursday night when a good friend comes over and we discuss what we’ve been learning from the word, and pray through those areas of our lives that God is trying to refine.  It has been so good to have someone holding me accountable, and praying for me on this journey through uncharted territory.

One of my biggest concerns heading into this Sabbatical was wondering where I would find people with whom I could process my thoughts.  I come to better conclusions when I can talk things out and get other perspectives.  (This desire to get other peoples’ perspectives is one of the reasons that I started blogging)  Thankfully, God had a plan for that, and had my Sabbatical start up the same time he had some of our best friends, and their 4 kids, move in with us.  The community that we are sharing has been such a blessing, in that it simultaneously has allowed me to withdraw from most things, without withdrawing completely.  I have a brother I can bounce ideas off, extra kids to love on, and people I can serve; even it is just by playing with an adorable baby for a few minutes while her momma does chores.  Having built in playmates for my kids has also given me time to exercise, stack my wood, and find quite minutes to read.

We’ve found a church where we can ‘hide’.  By that I mean we’ve found a place where we can worship, and listen to practical teaching without feeling the need to be social.  We know this is not ideal, but it is a step in the right direction for us.  Checking out churches after a messy separation feels like I imagine dating would feel after your spouse has died… Maybe it is a healthy part of moving on with life, but mostly it’s just awkward, especially at the beginning...  That said, it has been good to see my kids learning from people who are investing time during the week into finding ways to make God’s word come alive to little minds.  There is nothing quite like hearing your 3 year old tell you that he won’t be afraid because, as he says “I know God is always with me, so it would be silly to be afraid!”, especially when that was the bottom line from last Sunday’s lesson for preschoolers...

But Isaac isn’t the only one who has been learning.  I’ve been challenged by a few of the messages as well.  One talked about how much more effective the truth is when it comes from a joyful person.  This really hit home, because one criticism I received at the end of my time at Calvary Baptist was that I always seemed ready for a fight.  I realize now that this put people on the defensive and made them less likely to listen to what I had to say, no matter how right I may have been.  If the same truth had been delivered with a smile instead of a scowl, it might have been more effective.  I had lost heart and become wearing in doing good.  Because of that fatigue, I was short tempered and irritable.   

I learned Galatians 6:9 in the NIV which says “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”  I took the verse a reminder not to quit when I became weary” But really the verse says “DO NOT BECOME WEARY”.  The NASB says more clearly: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary”.  Hear we see that weariness itself can have a negative, even catastrophic impact on the outcome of our service to God.  There is a connection between the attitude (heart) that we bring to doing good and the effectiveness of it. 

It isn’t as though we shouldn’t be passionate.  Paul, who said “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” also said, “I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart.  For I wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my people, those of my own race, the people of Israel.” He was clearly passionate.  But something kept that passion from becoming crippling frustration and bitterness. 

I am not sure what that something was.  Perhaps it was in realizing that we are responsible for our own obedience, and not responsible for convincing others to obey?  Jesus shared the truth but finally said, “Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.  Look, your house is left to you desolate.”  He knew that the responsibility to respond was ultimately on the hearer.  He told his disciples “If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you.  If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.”  He didn’t say “find a different way to make them listen” he said something much more like “brush it off and go find someone who will listen”. 

Maybe the secret is in knowing when to withdraw and move on.  Jesus practiced this, He trained His disciples to do it, and Paul certainly did.  They all faced a certain amount of adversity, but also knew when to call it a day, and when to pack it up and move on.  Then again, Jesus faced the stress of his ministry by frequently withdrawing to lonely places to pray. Maybe it isn’t about quitting, maybe it is about finding ways to unplug and blow off steam before you boil over.  Maybe regular withdrawal needs to be part of my discipline?  Or maybe “Suffering brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint.”  Such hope, that the One who called you to do something is able to do it, even when you are not, may prevent you from losing heart when circumstances cause great sorrow and unceasing anguish…  

To My Church Family

To my Church Family,

Most of us have only ever entered into two covenant relationships, marriage and church membership.  The emotions we will experience as we process our pastor’s resignation is akin to the trauma of divorce, and we will be hurting deeply for some time to come because of it.  But the same bond that makes this separation hurt so much, is also, by the grace of God, what can help us to overcome.  These pivotal circumstances have the potential to strengthen our faith, or to crush it, and I pray that we will come through this with a greater determination to live the lives Christ died for us to live.

As we travel this road, we will experience a wide range of emotion.  Some will feel relieved, some confused, others hurt, some will no doubt be angry, some of us will want to try to fix it, some of us will just withdraw, preferring not to deal with it, and some of us will try to pretend like it doesn't much matter...  As the stages of grief unfold, we may find ourselves frustrated with others whose responses to this difficulty are dramatically different than our own.  We must be careful to let every conversation we have be “full of grace, and seasoned with salt”.  In other words, we must make every effort to love each other through this, and to make sure that we focus on building each other up, not tearing each other down.

As we navigate these waters, let us remember the fundamental things that make faith grow:

• Practical Teaching:  We are losing a great teacher, and we will all need to find ways to fill the void.  Practical teaching don’t have to come from a stage on a Sunday Morning, grab a good book by Francis Chan, Andy Stanley, David Platt or some other Christian author who gives you practical advice on how to live the truth of the scripture and read, read, read.
• Private Disciplines: Faith grows when we commit ourselves to reading the word, to prayer, and to giving sacrificially.  This may be a good time to try fasting, even just skipping a meal to pray a few times a week, could have an amazing impact on your life and the life of our church.
• Personal Ministry:  The loss of a pastor means that there are big shoes to fill!  Many of us turn to him for advice, for counseling, and rely on his comfort when we are sick.  As a body we will have to fill the void by each of us digging deep and doing what we can to love and support each other. Remember that the normal means of communication may be down for a while, so when you have a need, find someone you trust and ask for help.
• Providential Relationships: The scripture is clear that the body grows as each part does its work, and it tells us that we need each other.  Now more than ever, invite people into your home, change your schedule to make time for fellowship, and let us encourage one another daily.  Use social media to check up on people, to ask how they are doing, and share the things from good books or scripture that are encouraging you.
• Pivotal Circumstances are the 5th thing on Andy Stanley’s list of what makes faith grow.  And this one is a double edged sword.  Pivotal circumstances and cripple our faith or make it stronger.  The key is how we deal with them. Deal with them by focusing on the things that make faith grow rather than on the the things that hurt or the things that divide.

Find just one or two people to meet with each week.  Commit to reading the same scripture, to praying for each other, to confessing sin to each other and to praying for people you love, who have not yet confessed Jesus as Lord. Keep the group extremely small, so that you don’t have to juggle schedules or worry about what someone will think.

The church is not a place we gather on Sundays. Biblically, we don’t find the concept that Christians “go to church”, instead we find as we read the Word that, “we are the church”.  We are not a body because we sing the same songs and hear the same sermons. We are a body only when we share the same mission, and the same strategy for carrying out that mission.  We don’t meet together to get a good encouraging feeling that will help us through the week, we meet together to spur each other on toward love and good deeds.  The good feelings will be different for a while, maybe even absent, but we can still spur each other on to run the race as if to win the prize.  

As a Side Note...

I recently posted about how vision is a great source of hope.

Without vision hope is little more than a wish.

But there is more to the story.

Yesterday my wife and I had the privilege of spending a few hours with one of my mentors and his wife, and we both left feeling just a little more hopeful.  Usually this mentor has words of wisdom, and is able to offer perspective.  I went wondering what vision he would have to offer, what new information he would provide that would give me clarity on some of life's more difficult challenges.  But that was not what happened.

I went in prepared to listen.  But instead they listened as my wife and I poured out some of the challenges we've been trying to tackle as a team.  Instead of advice, our words with met with sympathy and understanding.  Instead of finding new perspective, we discovered that they are navigating very similar waters.  Instead of feeling isolated in our struggles, we now know that we are not alone.

It reminds me of the first time I climbed Mt. Katahdin, Maine's highest peak.  I was in 8th grade, and hadn't done much hiking.  I was one of the very last people in our large group of teenagers to reach the top, and by the time I got there, everyone else was rested and ready to head back down.  I ended up making my way down with another straggler, an annoying 7th grade boy named Jeff.  As we made our way down, we came to a place where several trails met, and we were unsure which one would take us back to where our youth leaders and the church van were waiting.  We spotted what looked like a group of teens some distance ahead and decided to catch up to them.  As we got closer we realized that they weren't from our group.  We had made our decision to take this trail on bad information, and we didn't know if it would lead us to our destination or not. It is worth noting that every school student is Maine is required to read a book called "Lost on a Mountain in Maine", about a boy who gets lost while hiking Mt. Katahdin...  So our imaginations had plenty of fodder for dreaming up worst case scenarios.  I think I would have panicked if Jeff hadn't been there.  Not that this kid who had a habit of spraying shaving cream on me while I slept, was a mountain of emotional stability, but I didn't want to look panicked and scared in front of him, so I acted tough.  Together we faced the unknown and the very real possibility that, with the sun quickly setting, we would get to the end of the trail, discover we were on the wrong side of the mountain, and need to head back up the mountain in a different direction.  Just having someone to face the difficult journey with made it easier.

We were overjoyed to see the church van in the parking lot.  And I never found Jeff quite so annoying after that. He never sprayed me with shaving cream again, (though there was one incident involving crickets in my sleeping bag...) 10 years later he stood beside as a groomsman in my wedding, and a year later I returned the favor.

It wasn't vision that got us down the mountain, or through the difficult situation, it was camaraderie.  Camaraderie made the panic worthy situation seem a little less overwhelming.  Even if the night got dark and we couldn't see the trail or the things moving in the woods, we wouldn't be alone, and that was a source of comfort, a source of hope.  That same kind of hope is what Shandy and I found in a mentor's living room yesterday.

Hope vs. Vision

In my quest to move and re-think, I like to read.  I read blogs, I read books, I subscribe to e-mail lists, and follow those who think differently on Facebook or YouTube.  One recent addition to my list is the Verge Network.  The basic premise of the folks at Verge is that God's idea for the church was not that it be a place that we go, but that church is a community of people with the same mission.  While most churches would agree with those words, the ways we live and the ways we operate tell the truth about what we really believe the church is all about.

Anyway, signing up for their e-mail news letter has given me access to a huge list of free e-books, one of which is called ,Righteous Brood', by Hugh Halter.  The e-mail discussing this free resource was particularly intriguing to me, and the book is only about 62 adobe reader pages long, so I set aside my Andy Stanley reading, and dove in.

At just about the half way point, Mr. Halter (who I occasionally disagree with) said something that really caught my attention.  He was talking about the difference between Hope and Vision.  Hopes, he argues, are "just emotional wishes that we hold out for.  Vision on the other hand is designed to actually change the future... Vision is the ability to see what God wants and move people toward His desired goal in any situation"

I've been having a hard time with certain things in life, and I've been asked about certain situations, whether or not I have hope.  Honestly I tend toward pessimism. Hope is something I have to work at.  When 1st Corinthians 13 tells me that "love always hopes" I cringe a little and know I have lots of room to grow.  But this quote resonates with me, because what I lack in hope, I make up for in Vision.  I may be a pessimist when it comes to where things are, or where they will be if nothing changes, but I am always ready with ideas for how to make them different.

Personally I think it is hard to share hope, without sharing vision.  When you tell a sick person 'I hope you feel better,' it is no where near as comforting as when their doctor says, 'here is the plan for how we are going to take you from sick to healthy.' One offers an "emotional wish" the other is "designed to actually change the future".  Which one actually offers hope?

I think James talked about this in his epistle, when he said "if a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking daily food, and one of you says to them, 'Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,' without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?"  Like empty words to an empty stomach is hope without vision.

So when we think of our kids, do we think, I hope they avoid tragedy, find a godly spouse, get a good job, settle into a safe neighborhood, find a good church etc.?  Do we step it up a notch and 'hope' they will take risks for God and make a difference in the world?  Or do we stop and think about how to make those things happen? Do we dare to ask God what his vision for our family is? Do we make the tough and uncomfortable choices that will result in those things becoming reality?

When we think of our churches, do we hope for unity, do we hope that people will act like a body, do we hope for more people to come to know Jesus, for lives to be changed, and the next generation to walk through the door? Or are we willing to come up with a vision that says, this is who we want to reach, this is how we plan to reach them, this is how we will disciple them, here are the steps that build faith, and here are some next steps each of us should be taking.

When we think of or marriages do we hope he will pick up his socks and she will make sure clean ones are mated? Do we hope for intimacy, for romance, for like-mindedness, and trust.  Or do we come up with a plan do build those things brick by brick, in sickness and in health, in riches and in poverty, for better or worse.

When I have vision I have hope.

Where there is no vision, people perish.