Hope vs. Vision

In my quest to move and re-think, I like to read.  I read blogs, I read books, I subscribe to e-mail lists, and follow those who think differently on Facebook or YouTube.  One recent addition to my list is the Verge Network.  The basic premise of the folks at Verge is that God's idea for the church was not that it be a place that we go, but that church is a community of people with the same mission.  While most churches would agree with those words, the ways we live and the ways we operate tell the truth about what we really believe the church is all about.

Anyway, signing up for their e-mail news letter has given me access to a huge list of free e-books, one of which is called ,Righteous Brood', by Hugh Halter.  The e-mail discussing this free resource was particularly intriguing to me, and the book is only about 62 adobe reader pages long, so I set aside my Andy Stanley reading, and dove in.

At just about the half way point, Mr. Halter (who I occasionally disagree with) said something that really caught my attention.  He was talking about the difference between Hope and Vision.  Hopes, he argues, are "just emotional wishes that we hold out for.  Vision on the other hand is designed to actually change the future... Vision is the ability to see what God wants and move people toward His desired goal in any situation"

I've been having a hard time with certain things in life, and I've been asked about certain situations, whether or not I have hope.  Honestly I tend toward pessimism. Hope is something I have to work at.  When 1st Corinthians 13 tells me that "love always hopes" I cringe a little and know I have lots of room to grow.  But this quote resonates with me, because what I lack in hope, I make up for in Vision.  I may be a pessimist when it comes to where things are, or where they will be if nothing changes, but I am always ready with ideas for how to make them different.

Personally I think it is hard to share hope, without sharing vision.  When you tell a sick person 'I hope you feel better,' it is no where near as comforting as when their doctor says, 'here is the plan for how we are going to take you from sick to healthy.' One offers an "emotional wish" the other is "designed to actually change the future".  Which one actually offers hope?

I think James talked about this in his epistle, when he said "if a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking daily food, and one of you says to them, 'Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,' without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?"  Like empty words to an empty stomach is hope without vision.

So when we think of our kids, do we think, I hope they avoid tragedy, find a godly spouse, get a good job, settle into a safe neighborhood, find a good church etc.?  Do we step it up a notch and 'hope' they will take risks for God and make a difference in the world?  Or do we stop and think about how to make those things happen? Do we dare to ask God what his vision for our family is? Do we make the tough and uncomfortable choices that will result in those things becoming reality?

When we think of our churches, do we hope for unity, do we hope that people will act like a body, do we hope for more people to come to know Jesus, for lives to be changed, and the next generation to walk through the door? Or are we willing to come up with a vision that says, this is who we want to reach, this is how we plan to reach them, this is how we will disciple them, here are the steps that build faith, and here are some next steps each of us should be taking.

When we think of or marriages do we hope he will pick up his socks and she will make sure clean ones are mated? Do we hope for intimacy, for romance, for like-mindedness, and trust.  Or do we come up with a plan do build those things brick by brick, in sickness and in health, in riches and in poverty, for better or worse.

When I have vision I have hope.

Where there is no vision, people perish.

Thoughts from the Orange Conference - Parents

Part two of my thoughts from the Orange Conference.  These bullet points represent the ideas and inspiration from the conference that relate to how I interact with the parents of the teens I work with, but also how I try to help the parents in our church take a more active role in partnering with the church to fulfill the great commission.

• Ask parents why they personally need the church.
• Ask parents “what would make the church such an indispensable part of your life that you would beg your friends to give it a try?”
• Take a video of each parent saying “I am ___________, I am a parent and I partner with the church because _____________.”
• Think: Going orange isn't about refining or adding programs.  Adding programs is how you go more yellow.  Going Orange requires the church to elevate the red.
• Think: What if going orange doesn't mean obligating families to another program or night out, but showing red that we believe that they are essential to the strategy of the church.
• Think: in terms of empowering red, rather than instructing it.
• Build relationships of trust with parents by communicating, by excellence, by connecting them to a small group leader, by creating opportunities for parents and kids to make memories together, by pointing them to resources, by planning some of your teaching based on their input, and by being available to give guidance.
• Ask parents what faith skills they need help teaching their kids, plan your ministries around these felt needs, and parents will be much more likely to partner with you.
• Partner with parents to create a list of annual spiritual mile stones (steps) for their kids from cradle to college, plan your ministry around these, and review them frequently.
• Provide a visual that will help us all remember that the days we have with kids are numbered.
• Match-make partnerships and inter-generational relationships for kids, and for parents.
• Remember that vision fades with age.  Ask the next generation what they need in order to be ministers to their peers.

Now hopefully something you just read inspired or intrigued you.  If so, please post a comment so we can talk.

Beer With Jesus

It may come as a shock to some of you who know me, given that I've never had so much as a sip of beer, but I really like the song "Beer with Jesus", by Thomas Rhett.  (Confessing this will probably upset some of my friends who believe that Jesus turned water into "non-alcoholic wine" at the wedding in Cana.)

If you have never heard the song, you should take a listen.  Here is a link to the lyrics.

While the questions posed by the song may not reflect perfect theology, and they made not be the questions that a student of the word would ask, they do reflect a clear desire for a personal relationship with the Savior.

It also makes it clear that Jesus is approachable.  As I listen to the song I can't help but believe that Jesus would like nothing more than to sit down across a table from me, and chat. I don't think He'd mind sipping a beer.

But it's not the beer that intrigues me.  What makes this song so thought provoking is the idea of a corner table and a chance to have a private conversation with Jesus.  Like the singer, "I'd be sure to let Him do the talking," but I'd also have a plethora of questions I'd be "Careful when I got the chance to ask".

My favorite part of the song has to be that the most important question, the one that gets repeated over and over is, "How'd you turn the other cheek, to save a sorry soul like me?"  Of all the other questions I have, that one is really what matters.

We get caught up on whether or not Jesus would actually drink a beer, which church would he attend, who would he vote for, which side would he take on this debate or that debate? Could I sing this song at my church without having people walk out? But the critical question is one of forgiveness.  How does He manage to love a sorry soul like me so much that He forgives me time, after time, after time? 

If I could fully comprehend the depth of that love, how would it change me.  How would it change the way I love others?  Would all of the squabbles and divisions disappear?  Most importantly, how much more approachable would Jesus be to the world...

Wine, Whine, Whine...

So I am in the process of reading the Bible in a year.  Reading through Luke I noticed something that I have somehow missed every other time I’ve read it. 

Luke 5:36-39 - And He was also telling them a parable: “No one tears a piece of cloth from a new garment and puts it on an old garment; otherwise he will both tear the new, and the piece from the new will not match the old. 37 And no one puts new wine into old wineskins; otherwise the new wine will burst the skins and it will be spilled out, and the skins will be ruined. 38 But new wine must be put into fresh wineskins. 39 And no one, after drinking old wine wishes for new; for he says, ‘The old is good enough.’”

Verse 39 is the one that seemed to suddenly appear.  I’ve memorized 36-38 before, even preached on Matthew’s version of this passage, but somehow missed verse 39.

If you are used to the old wine you won’t want the new wine. 

There are leadership implications here, to be sure. Trying to bring change is going to be hard, if Jesus himself says that everyone who has tasted the old wine is going to be satisfied… Every book on change worth it's cover will tell you that "good enough is the biggest threat to excellent that exists". Well-meaning people become like the Pharisees, obstacles to change, because they like what they first tasted…

But what about the personal implications for someone who wants to constantly be moving and re-thinking?  How do I prevent becoming addicted to a certain kind of wine, and whining about the rest?

I remember being a teenager in the 90's, and thinking that my parents were weird for not liking the new music that was coming out.  Now I’m 31 and my favorite type of music is 90’s rock (now called “adult contemporary”).  I’m pretty much annoyed with most of what comes out today, unless it is heavily influenced by 90’s rock.  I’ve settled into a certain wine skin.  When it comes to music, I say, “The old is better!”

But just because I understand the “old is better” attitude doesn’t mean I can defend it.  That attitude is the one that had Jewish believers upset when Gentiles started coming to Christ.  That attitude is the one that pushed Paul to say (about those who were demanding that Gentiles become circumcised if they wanted to pursue relationship with Jesus) “As for those agitators, I wish they would go the whole way and emasculate themselves!”  It is the attitude that caused the first big church counsel in Jerusalem (one that ended in compromise rather than in leadership, and whose decisions were eventually reversed), and the one that caused Paul to oppose Peter to his face in front of the Galatian church.

On the contrary, I have an obligation to do what Paul did, and become “all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some”.  I follow the example of someone who “did not consider equality with God something to be grasped”, but emptied himself, and became like me.  He gave up all the comforts of heaven to suffer through being like me, not because there was anything in it for Him, but because He loved me. 

If singing along with some music I don’t like will help someone else know God’s love, count me in.  If seeing things at church done differently than the way I’ve always done them will help more people come to know Christ in 1 year than in the 5 previous years combined, count me in.  If I have to volunteer in some ways that feel a little awkward, instead of the old comfortable ways, so that I can carry out the great commission, count me in.  

And keep me accountable to my attitude, because I have a tendency to do the right thing through gritted teeth because I know I have to, instead of with genuine love and compassion, and if I do that, then I’m not going to bless anyone.  And I am tempted to only serve with honest love if I get to do it my way, but if I do that I'm just forcing new wine into old wineskins. 

So if I can't serve new wine with a smile, put a cork in me and put me on a shelf in the basement.  The mission of the church is not to keep me content and tithing, but to go and make disciples.  If I get in the way of the mission, then call me Jonah and toss me overboard.  There are plenty of life boats out there that are happy to pick up the picky and serve them their favorite kind of wine.  Maybe I'll even get swallowed by a big fish, get my act together and go do the right thing...

I try to avoid becoming a wine whiner, by remembering that the wine skins that helped last year's crop become a great vintage, might not work well for this year’s harvest; thus the need to constantly move and re-think.   

I am not a change agent, because I want things to be the way I like them.   

I don’t want you to move and rethink your ideas, so that they will be more like mine. 

I want to move and rethink so that I can follow Paul’s example as he followed the example of Christ, so that I will always have new wine-skins ready for new wine, even while I privately prefer and older vintage.

After all, what is old wine to me was once new wine, and someone cared enough to move and re-think their favorite vintage and to create one I could fall in love with.

The Missing Ingredient...

In my last post, "Not Everything Is Beneficial", I wrote about how I feel like I have a lesson to learn. I was intentionally vague, but I think I have learned a few things, so here is an update.

I was preparing to teach Sunday School over the weekend, (our parent's group talks about what our kids are learning and how we can apply those lessons on an adult level) so I was reviewing the preschool and elementary curriculum. The elementary kids were going to be learning about Ruth, and how she determined to help Naomi even when it was difficult, while the preschoolers would be learning that God forgives us for our bad choices, from the story of the sinful woman who washed Jesus' feet. Putting the two side by side I saw something that has been missing from my well intentioned, but not so well received, interactions: Compassion.

Jesus had a heart full of compassion for the woman who washed his feet, no matter what she had done. When he wanted some alone time after finding out his cousin had been beheaded, the crowds followed him. Rather than turn them away, he had compassion on them. Looking toward Jerusalem during the journey that would lead to his crucifixion, he longed to gather her children together like a hen gathering chicks under her wings... He tackled problems and dealt with messy people, but had great compassion.

(Note: There was also a time for flipping over tables, and calling religious leaders vipers... But Jesus had the discernment to know what emotional state would be most edifying in each situation)

So, here is some of the context that brought me to this place of learning... I installed a new computer network for my employer. It was a much needed upgrade, the first in 14 years, which is an eternity in the computing world. Installation was a challenge, as I have never done this kind of work before, but installation was nothing compared to helping people who had done things the same way for a decade and a half over the learning curve.

So much was new and different and they were all overwhelmed. There was also the issue of the backlog that was created at my desk while I spent weeks as an IT guy instead of being a paralegal. The first few days I was patient and understanding, genuinely believing in all the good things that the updated system would do for my employers and coworkers. Then after 3 days of feeling like I had repeated myself over and over, while getting little to none of my own work done, I started getting exasperated. I was short and to the point, instead of cheerful. Rather than extolling the virtues of the new system, or helping people get excited about the changes, I accomplished the task as quickly as possible and moved on. I had surgical precision, but terrible bedside manner. Everyone else who was already struggling with the changes now had to deal with my lack of compassion. The person they were looking to for help, for comfort in their distress, was surly and short with them. Pleas for help turned into complaints, and my assistance was shunned...

My "Aha" moment came when I realized that I have done the same thing at my church...

I was put in charge of some long overdue upgrades to an old system, and helping people through the transition was something that I did with great joy... at first. But as weeks of transition turned into months, and as I ran out of was to rephrase the information, I transitioned from joyful to surgical, from compassionate to precise, from patient to edgy, from pleasant to blunt...

It took the trustworthy wounds of multiple friends to get through to me that my manner was damaging the message. People that were hesitant to accept help or transition from cheerful Charlie, were never going to accept it from grumpy Charlie. There may have been some places along the way where some tables needed to be flipped, or some things needed to be called out, but I had gotten stuck in table flipping mode, and was giving off an attitude that said, "I'll try being nicer when you try being smarter". Thus my suggestions, no matter how precise or accurate I may have thought they were, became something unedifying, because of the emotions with which they were conveyed.

To sum my learning thus far: Basically, it is not just what I say, but how I say it. It is not just my motivation, but the emotions I convey. If I can't bring all the pieces together (why, how, attitude and emotional state) it may be best to wait, pray, double check my own eyes for logs and respond when I can do so with the shrewdness of a serpent and the innocence of a dove.

That is not to say that I am done learning on this topic, but I think I have figured out part of the equation. Now I am looking forward to refining this, putting it into practice, and reconciling with some people I have offended.

I am also looking forward to your feedback.

Not Everything is Beneficial

So apparently I have a lesson to learn.

I am in process, so this post is not going to be about what I have learned, but rather what I am trying to learn. By blogging, I'm hoping to organize my thoughts a bit, and get some peer review.

I think the lesson I need to learn revolves around 1 Corinthians 10:23 "All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things edify." (NASB)

It seems lately that doing what is arguably the "right" or "lawful" thing, has caused unintended consequences.


Someone presents a problem.  I see a solution.  I am stirred with compassion, and have a strong desire to help, so I start proposing solutions... Then something goes wrong, (and this is the part I am working on)  and people get annoyed with me.  Like my input somehow offends them. 

My normal response to this would be to get indignant, and say, "Fine if you don't want my help then why are you telling me about your problem!"  After all, my fifth grade teacher (Mrs. Myrtle Spencer, a former military woman turned teacher) made it abundantly clear that we were not to complain unless we were willing to work toward solving the problem... 

But this has been happening so often lately that I think a re-think is in order...  Maybe the fifth grade philosophy needs a second look.

Could it be that there is a time to speak and a time to remain silent?  Could it be that not every problem I hear about needs to be solved by me ASAP. 

Could it be that I have a pride issue and that there something condescending my approach to helping others? 

Could it be that in certain circumstances helping is lawful, but not beneficial, or edifying?  If so, how on earth (or in heaven) do I tell the difference?

I am sure there are other possibilities as well...

So I am convinced (or maybe convicted is a better word) There is a lesson hear to be learned.  I am not sure that I have framed the question well, but the obscurity is necessary to protect the innocent.  I'm not complaining about anyone, I'm trying to re-think a long established pattern in how I interact with people, because my way seems to be hurting more than helping, and I really do want to "do only what us useful for building others up according to their needs".

Any suggestions?

Sometimes I Get It Wrong

This is a retraction. In my post on Forgiveness I said, "He didn't forgive me until I repented". That was wrong. The truth is that it is by grace we are saved through faith. Not of ourselves, so that no one can boast. We don't clean up our act then come to Jesus. We come to Jesus and he cleans us up. He does the justifying. There is no excuse for what I wrote.

My erroneous blog was a failed attempt to discuss what James talks about. "Faith without actions is dead." Whether or not we are forgiven by God is a matter of His grace, but we are challenged to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. To examine ourselves. If we are not repentant, we can see that our "faith" is "without deeds" and must ask ourselves, "can such faith save us?" We can also apply this standard to those around us. It is what keeps us from throwing our pearls to pigs.

Dan, the friend who brought my error to my attention, said that what I was trying to address is a matter of stewardship not forgiveness. It is poor Stewardship to give someone you wallet when they have a history of stealing, until, through their actions, they have shown evidence of faith changing their hearts. We offer forgiveness over and over, and love them through the circumstances.

But stewardship is not forgiveness.

So my post was wrong. Very wrong.

Forgiveness is freely given. God's love compels me to repent, because I've been forgiven.

The issue at the heart of the post was that actions have consequences, regardless of what we want or what we say. If we have sinned and want to change how people react to us we must demonstrate our faith and the forgiveness we have freely received through repentance. I have observed, and was reacting too, people who say that they are sorry and expect it to restore the relationship that was damaged, without any repentance, who expect that I will treat them differently without having any intention if changing their behavior. To paraphrase James, "can such an apology reconcile you?"

I wish I could tell you that the terrible theology in my previous post was just a knee jerk reaction to circumstances, but I would be lying. Truth is, I posted it, then took it down, worked on it more, then reposted, without ever catching the serious error in my theology. This is why I am so grateful for the body of Christ, and for a friend willing to comment and to hold me accountable. This is the heart of Moving and Re-Thinking, sharing my thoughts and experiences publicly so that others can comment and help me refine my thinking, so that I can continue to move toward Christlikeness.

This was not the first time I've been wrong, and it won't be the last. I look forward to learning from more of you as we continue to spur one another on toward love and good deeds.