Not Everything is Beneficial

So apparently I have a lesson to learn.

I am in process, so this post is not going to be about what I have learned, but rather what I am trying to learn. By blogging, I'm hoping to organize my thoughts a bit, and get some peer review.

I think the lesson I need to learn revolves around 1 Corinthians 10:23 "All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things edify." (NASB)

It seems lately that doing what is arguably the "right" or "lawful" thing, has caused unintended consequences.


Someone presents a problem.  I see a solution.  I am stirred with compassion, and have a strong desire to help, so I start proposing solutions... Then something goes wrong, (and this is the part I am working on)  and people get annoyed with me.  Like my input somehow offends them. 

My normal response to this would be to get indignant, and say, "Fine if you don't want my help then why are you telling me about your problem!"  After all, my fifth grade teacher (Mrs. Myrtle Spencer, a former military woman turned teacher) made it abundantly clear that we were not to complain unless we were willing to work toward solving the problem... 

But this has been happening so often lately that I think a re-think is in order...  Maybe the fifth grade philosophy needs a second look.

Could it be that there is a time to speak and a time to remain silent?  Could it be that not every problem I hear about needs to be solved by me ASAP. 

Could it be that I have a pride issue and that there something condescending my approach to helping others? 

Could it be that in certain circumstances helping is lawful, but not beneficial, or edifying?  If so, how on earth (or in heaven) do I tell the difference?

I am sure there are other possibilities as well...

So I am convinced (or maybe convicted is a better word) There is a lesson hear to be learned.  I am not sure that I have framed the question well, but the obscurity is necessary to protect the innocent.  I'm not complaining about anyone, I'm trying to re-think a long established pattern in how I interact with people, because my way seems to be hurting more than helping, and I really do want to "do only what us useful for building others up according to their needs".

Any suggestions?