Have you ever had one of those conversations * where you hear that you have come across in a way that you didn't intend to? Have you ever said something, chuckled to yourself or smiled a certain way, and the other person takes umberidge, because they inferred an insult where none was implied. Then, because you didn't mean to offend, you try to explain yourself, to justify the smirk, or the comment, only to have the situation go from bad to worse? Generally speaking I am not particularly flexible, but when it comes to putting my foot in my mouth, I am a master contortionist, finding new and interesting ways to perform this feat. (pun intended)
My most recent foot in mouth experience came during a recent car ride with my wife. She said something, I smiled, she guessed what was running through my head, I didn't deny it, but tried to justify why I was thinking what I was thinking, and as I opened my mouth in went the foot. Then I tried to justify why I had just put my foot in my mouth, and it went from bad to worse.
I put myself in time out and fumed. I was right, wasn't I. My smile was certainly justified. My comments were accurate. Why was she blowing up over the truth. How is it my fault if she** "Can't handle the truth"... About that time I realized that although what was saying and thinking might have been true ***, it wasn't at all loving, and that's when it hit me.
Why do I try to justify myself? I am terrible at it. Why do I have this persistant desire, this need to be understood, to have people see my perspective, as if my perspective is something they cannot live without. ****
Jesus died to justify me. I am justified by grace, through faith, not by works, so that no one can boast. You see when I try to justify my opinion, to make someone understand me, I am in effect boasting. Even if I have reason to boast, like being spot on with my insightful observation, if the result of that observation tears my wife down, rather than building her up, if it doesn't edify the person listening to me, it is sin.
The Bible tells me that "knowledge puffs up, but love builds up." I can judge the tree by its fruit, and when I try to usurp Jesus' place as my justifier, by arguing to make myself understood, the fruit is almost always pretty rotten.
*(usually with your spouse, but not necessarily)
** (insert Jack Nicholson accent)
***(I say might because my wife would debate the validity of my argument)
**** (this from the guy blogging so that other people can read his perspective... can you say oxymoronical...)
Friday, June 29, 2012
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Humility
There is nothing quite like spending the day doing the same job you did when you were 13 to help you gain some perspective.
Had you told my 13 year old self that, at 30, I would be mowing the same lawn and repainting the same garage I would not have believed you. So earlier this week when I found myself doing exactly those things, I had a movie moment.
The movie was one you may not have seen, "The Kid", a Disney movie where Bruce Willis meets his 9 year old self and gains some much needed perspective while imparting some much needed wisdom. That is exactly what yesterday felt like. The result was humbling.
As I reflected on the 17 years that have passed since I last scrapped and painted that garage, I realized a few things: some of the same bad habits and sins that I struggle with started around that time, life has taken a completely different track than I expected, the people whose opinion I lived for are no where to be seen while those whose opinion I blatantly disregarded are still around, and still love me, the self serving measures I had for success are obsolete, replaced by a deep desire to serve others (at least that is what I would like to believe)
Just like in the movie, older me probably wouldn't get along well with younger me, but we'd have some things to teach eachother.
Older me would impart lessons like: put others first, don't worry about what "popular people" think of you, character is what matters, lighten up, learn some self control, and most importantly, LISTEN- because you really don't know it all... Meanwhile younger me would remind me to be more ambitious, to take risks, and to remember the lofty ideals of love, chivalry and courage that defined who I imagined I would become.
Every so often it is good to go back and encounter earlier versions of ourselves so that we can be reminded of childlike faith and of just how much God has done in our lives.
Had you told my 13 year old self that, at 30, I would be mowing the same lawn and repainting the same garage I would not have believed you. So earlier this week when I found myself doing exactly those things, I had a movie moment.
The movie was one you may not have seen, "The Kid", a Disney movie where Bruce Willis meets his 9 year old self and gains some much needed perspective while imparting some much needed wisdom. That is exactly what yesterday felt like. The result was humbling.
As I reflected on the 17 years that have passed since I last scrapped and painted that garage, I realized a few things: some of the same bad habits and sins that I struggle with started around that time, life has taken a completely different track than I expected, the people whose opinion I lived for are no where to be seen while those whose opinion I blatantly disregarded are still around, and still love me, the self serving measures I had for success are obsolete, replaced by a deep desire to serve others (at least that is what I would like to believe)
Just like in the movie, older me probably wouldn't get along well with younger me, but we'd have some things to teach eachother.
Older me would impart lessons like: put others first, don't worry about what "popular people" think of you, character is what matters, lighten up, learn some self control, and most importantly, LISTEN- because you really don't know it all... Meanwhile younger me would remind me to be more ambitious, to take risks, and to remember the lofty ideals of love, chivalry and courage that defined who I imagined I would become.
Every so often it is good to go back and encounter earlier versions of ourselves so that we can be reminded of childlike faith and of just how much God has done in our lives.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
What is a leader (Summation)
The forth post in our series on Biblical Leadership.
Ultimately, I think Jesus is the best example of a leader who acted with the end in mind. He kept focused on what people needed rather than what they wanted. I think the story of Lazarus demonstrates this extremely well. When Jesus heard that Lazarus was ill, He clearly wanted to go to His friend, to heal him right away and to spare him, and his sisters, the pain of the upcoming experience. For the good of the mission, the end result that he had in mind (which was building faith in a group of people who would ultimately take the Gospel to the world) He waited, and in doing so He looked cold and uncaring to those closest to him, He let Lazarus die, He let the sisters grieve, He wept Himself, and ultimately He revealed God's power in a way that couldn't have happened without effectively causing all that pain. No emotions, not even His own, got in the way of what would bring God the most glory. (Not that He didn't have strong emotions about the matter, He just wasn't ruled by them.)
So often we think of love in terms of emotion, but love is much more than an emotion. (In fact I am not sure that love even is an emotion at all, but more on that in some other post...) Love is not doing what makes people feel better, it is doing what is best for someone else, regardless of what we feel, or what they feel. We understand this when it comes to parenting. Regardless of what kind of discipline you choose to apply, your kid probably doesn't like it. In fact, in order to love your child you intentionally do things that won't like, so that they will learn not to do things that will hurt them or hurt others.
We are God's children, and He has given us He word to which is useful for "teaching, reproof, correction, and training in righteousness" Like it or not, He treats us like children, and expects us to help our siblings along, by using His word wisely. He's set up a hierarchy, putting leaders over us, to shepherd and guide us. Those who lead and teach are in turn held to a higher standard of judgment, and must react accordingly. This means having the humility to see yourself as a child and first applying the Word within. Like the man removing the plank from his own eye before removing the speck from his brother's eye. Once you are relatively certain you are plank free, you have a responsibility to use God's word to the benefit of others within the body of Christ. Paul did it (with brutal honesty on multiple occasions). He also encouraged Timothy to do it, and he encouraged all leaders, in fact all believers to use the word, and the example of our lives, to "spur one another on toward love and good deeds."
Spur. Think about that word. Basically the Bible commands us to "Jab a sharp piece of metal into someones backside in order to get them to do what they should be doing". How loving does that feel? Not very. But it is in fact the most loving thing we can do.
Not an appealing job description, and frankly that is why I spend years trying to hide from being a leader. Then I read this parable about a guy to took what his master had given him, and buried it in a whole, ultimately giving it back without having done anything with it... It didn't go so well for that guy, so I am desperate to understand leadership from God's perspective.
Now if on any point you disagree with me, or find my thinking incomplete, or just want to share what God's taught you, put the spurs to me and help me re-think by giving me your feedback.
Ultimately, I think Jesus is the best example of a leader who acted with the end in mind. He kept focused on what people needed rather than what they wanted. I think the story of Lazarus demonstrates this extremely well. When Jesus heard that Lazarus was ill, He clearly wanted to go to His friend, to heal him right away and to spare him, and his sisters, the pain of the upcoming experience. For the good of the mission, the end result that he had in mind (which was building faith in a group of people who would ultimately take the Gospel to the world) He waited, and in doing so He looked cold and uncaring to those closest to him, He let Lazarus die, He let the sisters grieve, He wept Himself, and ultimately He revealed God's power in a way that couldn't have happened without effectively causing all that pain. No emotions, not even His own, got in the way of what would bring God the most glory. (Not that He didn't have strong emotions about the matter, He just wasn't ruled by them.)
So often we think of love in terms of emotion, but love is much more than an emotion. (In fact I am not sure that love even is an emotion at all, but more on that in some other post...) Love is not doing what makes people feel better, it is doing what is best for someone else, regardless of what we feel, or what they feel. We understand this when it comes to parenting. Regardless of what kind of discipline you choose to apply, your kid probably doesn't like it. In fact, in order to love your child you intentionally do things that won't like, so that they will learn not to do things that will hurt them or hurt others.
We are God's children, and He has given us He word to which is useful for "teaching, reproof, correction, and training in righteousness" Like it or not, He treats us like children, and expects us to help our siblings along, by using His word wisely. He's set up a hierarchy, putting leaders over us, to shepherd and guide us. Those who lead and teach are in turn held to a higher standard of judgment, and must react accordingly. This means having the humility to see yourself as a child and first applying the Word within. Like the man removing the plank from his own eye before removing the speck from his brother's eye. Once you are relatively certain you are plank free, you have a responsibility to use God's word to the benefit of others within the body of Christ. Paul did it (with brutal honesty on multiple occasions). He also encouraged Timothy to do it, and he encouraged all leaders, in fact all believers to use the word, and the example of our lives, to "spur one another on toward love and good deeds."
Spur. Think about that word. Basically the Bible commands us to "Jab a sharp piece of metal into someones backside in order to get them to do what they should be doing". How loving does that feel? Not very. But it is in fact the most loving thing we can do.
Not an appealing job description, and frankly that is why I spend years trying to hide from being a leader. Then I read this parable about a guy to took what his master had given him, and buried it in a whole, ultimately giving it back without having done anything with it... It didn't go so well for that guy, so I am desperate to understand leadership from God's perspective.
Now if on any point you disagree with me, or find my thinking incomplete, or just want to share what God's taught you, put the spurs to me and help me re-think by giving me your feedback.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Characteristics of Leader
Part 3 of our conversation on Leadership:
Q: What are some characteristics that all effective leader's share.
A: A clear understanding of the where those they are leading are in relationship to where they should be. The ability to communicate where the people should be in a way that helps people want to follow. The willingness to make unpopular decisions, for the sake of the mission. Perseverance, in the midst of things not going the way they had planned. And Strategic Thinking, that lets them know what steps need to be in place to get people from point at to point Z, without trying to do everything at once.
Biblical examples are numerous, We already talked about Nehemiah. He demonstrated many of these principles, He spent time in prayer and fasting and afterward felt compelled to do something about a problem facing God's people. He put a plan in place, and convinced people to follow it. He put reasonable steps in place, like building the whole wall to half it's height first, rather than trying to build one section to it's full height at a time, and he demonstrated perserverance, as he was constantly heckled, threatened and told it couldn't be done, but he stuck to and ultimately accomplished the mission.
Tomorrow I'll be back with one more example on this topic, and a summary.
Q: What are some characteristics that all effective leader's share.
A: A clear understanding of the where those they are leading are in relationship to where they should be. The ability to communicate where the people should be in a way that helps people want to follow. The willingness to make unpopular decisions, for the sake of the mission. Perseverance, in the midst of things not going the way they had planned. And Strategic Thinking, that lets them know what steps need to be in place to get people from point at to point Z, without trying to do everything at once.
Biblical examples are numerous, We already talked about Nehemiah. He demonstrated many of these principles, He spent time in prayer and fasting and afterward felt compelled to do something about a problem facing God's people. He put a plan in place, and convinced people to follow it. He put reasonable steps in place, like building the whole wall to half it's height first, rather than trying to build one section to it's full height at a time, and he demonstrated perserverance, as he was constantly heckled, threatened and told it couldn't be done, but he stuck to and ultimately accomplished the mission.
Tomorrow I'll be back with one more example on this topic, and a summary.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Administrators
Part 2 in our conversation about Leadership deals with the difference between a leader and an administrator. (if you are just joining us please go back and read the posts entitled "Thoughts on Leadership" and "What is a Leader")
Q: What is the difference between a leader and an administrator?
A: An administrator is one who makes a process more efficient, a leader is one who defines the process.
Biblical Examples: The seven men appointed in acts to oversee the distribution of the food were administrators. The twelve (apostles) who said effectively 'here's how we are going to address the problem' were leaders. The twelve had a mission to complete (the ministry of the word and prayer), and despite that fact that other people wanted their attention, they knew that addressing concern that had arisen wasn't part of what God wanted them to be doing, so they appointed a group to solve the problem, and stayed focused on their mission.
Nehemiah was clearly a gifted leader - he had a God given desire to get something done and got it done. In Nehemiah chapter 2 we see him setting a strategy in place, before talking with the leaders of the people. Once he had a strategy in place, he went to them and convinced them that it was the right thing to do. He overcame ridicule and numerous threats both political and physical. He kept the people's morale high by setting reasonable goals and reminding them that God was with them. The people told him time after time it would never work, but he pressed on.
Jethro, Moses' father in law, used the gift of administration to compliment Moses' gift of leadership, by telling him how to organize the people so that he (Moses) could focus on his God given mission. At Jethro's advice, Moses broke the people into manageable groups, and put a structure in place that would lead to vastly increased efficiency. Leaders would do well to remember that there is value in having trustworthy counselors. Just learn a lesson from Solomon's son Jeroboam, he listened to the counselors who told him what he wanted to hear, and "forsook the counsel of the elders." He listened to counsel, but listened to the wrong counselors. The leader bears the responsibility to determine which counselors to heed to and which to reject.
Q: What is the difference between a leader and an administrator?
A: An administrator is one who makes a process more efficient, a leader is one who defines the process.
Biblical Examples: The seven men appointed in acts to oversee the distribution of the food were administrators. The twelve (apostles) who said effectively 'here's how we are going to address the problem' were leaders. The twelve had a mission to complete (the ministry of the word and prayer), and despite that fact that other people wanted their attention, they knew that addressing concern that had arisen wasn't part of what God wanted them to be doing, so they appointed a group to solve the problem, and stayed focused on their mission.
Nehemiah was clearly a gifted leader - he had a God given desire to get something done and got it done. In Nehemiah chapter 2 we see him setting a strategy in place, before talking with the leaders of the people. Once he had a strategy in place, he went to them and convinced them that it was the right thing to do. He overcame ridicule and numerous threats both political and physical. He kept the people's morale high by setting reasonable goals and reminding them that God was with them. The people told him time after time it would never work, but he pressed on.
Jethro, Moses' father in law, used the gift of administration to compliment Moses' gift of leadership, by telling him how to organize the people so that he (Moses) could focus on his God given mission. At Jethro's advice, Moses broke the people into manageable groups, and put a structure in place that would lead to vastly increased efficiency. Leaders would do well to remember that there is value in having trustworthy counselors. Just learn a lesson from Solomon's son Jeroboam, he listened to the counselors who told him what he wanted to hear, and "forsook the counsel of the elders." He listened to counsel, but listened to the wrong counselors. The leader bears the responsibility to determine which counselors to heed to and which to reject.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Thoughts on Leadership
A few days ago I posted asking for feedback on the role of a leader. I didn't get much feedback, so let me give you my opinion and see if that gets the ball rolling. This is the short version of my opinion, and is intended to jump start the conversation I'd like to be having with you, dear reader.
Let's start with the first of the three questions I posed in the earlier post:
Q: What is the ultimate goal of a leader?
A: In my opinion, the ultimate goal of the leader is to move people somewhere that they wouldn't go without the leader's influence. This is not a unique idea, it is a summation of much reading on the subject.
Biblical Example: Moses: Without his influence, the Hebrews would have remained slaves in Egypt until the genocide that had begun under Pharaoh ran its course and they ceased to exist or had been assimilated into the Egyptian population. His goal was to move them toward the land that God had promised. After his first conversation with Pharaoh, the Egyptians made the Hebrew's lives more difficult, and as a result the people begged Moses to stop leading them. After they left Egypt, and saw God do amazing things, they complained countless times that they would have been better off in Egypt as slaves than following Moses around the desert. On multiple occasions Moses was accused of plotting genocide against his own people by his own people ("you brought us out into the desert to die"). Had he been leading by committee, popular opinion or what made people feel loved and appreciated, he'd have left them alone in Egypt before the first plague, and our Bible would look extremely different.
Tune in tomorrow and I'll give my opinion on the difference between a leader and an administrator.
Let's start with the first of the three questions I posed in the earlier post:
Q: What is the ultimate goal of a leader?
A: In my opinion, the ultimate goal of the leader is to move people somewhere that they wouldn't go without the leader's influence. This is not a unique idea, it is a summation of much reading on the subject.
Biblical Example: Moses: Without his influence, the Hebrews would have remained slaves in Egypt until the genocide that had begun under Pharaoh ran its course and they ceased to exist or had been assimilated into the Egyptian population. His goal was to move them toward the land that God had promised. After his first conversation with Pharaoh, the Egyptians made the Hebrew's lives more difficult, and as a result the people begged Moses to stop leading them. After they left Egypt, and saw God do amazing things, they complained countless times that they would have been better off in Egypt as slaves than following Moses around the desert. On multiple occasions Moses was accused of plotting genocide against his own people by his own people ("you brought us out into the desert to die"). Had he been leading by committee, popular opinion or what made people feel loved and appreciated, he'd have left them alone in Egypt before the first plague, and our Bible would look extremely different.
Tune in tomorrow and I'll give my opinion on the difference between a leader and an administrator.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Quiet Time Reflections
In John 6 Jesus
feeds the 5,000, then walks across the lake, calms a storm, and lands on the
far shore, just in time to be greeted by the same crowd of people. They are all wondering how he got there, and
He gave them this beautifully blunt and un-politically correct response, "You
aren't looking for me" He said, "because
you want to believe, you are looking for me because you want a free meal." ~ CPV (Charlie Paraphrased Version)
You have to love Jesus way with words. He never pulled any punches or told a crowd what they wanted to hear, instead He went straight to the heart of the matter.
I am tempted to dwell on His blunt and rather offensive manner of speaking (we are so quick to take offense that I think we would write Jesus off as unloving if he were walking the earth today), but is what followed that really caught my attention. He said "Do not work for the food that perishes, but work for the food which endures to eternal life."
It is a simple reminder that goes along with what Jesus said in Matthew 6. - "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things (speaking of basic necessities like food and clothing) will be given to you."
How often do we kill ourselves working to make the mortgage payment, or to pay the electricity bill, or to make the car payment, or to pay the mechanic just keep the poor old thing running for a few more months. How much time have I spent stressing out over our looming loss of insurance coverage, even contemplating giving up ministry to keep insurance!? How many of my peers have I watched work harder for the things that aren't necessities, Internet access, apple products, smart phone plans, ballet lessons & travel basketball fees for junior, and that vacation they've always wanted…
Jesus effectively said, "don't work for temporary things, work for eternal things." & "Seek Me first and I'll take care of the rest".
Do I trust Him enough to actually live that way?
Give me your feed back. Have you put these words of Jesus into practice? Why/How or Why not?
You have to love Jesus way with words. He never pulled any punches or told a crowd what they wanted to hear, instead He went straight to the heart of the matter.
I am tempted to dwell on His blunt and rather offensive manner of speaking (we are so quick to take offense that I think we would write Jesus off as unloving if he were walking the earth today), but is what followed that really caught my attention. He said "Do not work for the food that perishes, but work for the food which endures to eternal life."
It is a simple reminder that goes along with what Jesus said in Matthew 6. - "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things (speaking of basic necessities like food and clothing) will be given to you."
How often do we kill ourselves working to make the mortgage payment, or to pay the electricity bill, or to make the car payment, or to pay the mechanic just keep the poor old thing running for a few more months. How much time have I spent stressing out over our looming loss of insurance coverage, even contemplating giving up ministry to keep insurance!? How many of my peers have I watched work harder for the things that aren't necessities, Internet access, apple products, smart phone plans, ballet lessons & travel basketball fees for junior, and that vacation they've always wanted…
Jesus effectively said, "don't work for temporary things, work for eternal things." & "Seek Me first and I'll take care of the rest".
Do I trust Him enough to actually live that way?
Give me your feed back. Have you put these words of Jesus into practice? Why/How or Why not?
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